Women in the Qur’an and the Sunnah’

Tags

Allah, Beauty, Husband, Islam, Life, Love, Men, Muslim, Prophet, Qura'n, Relationship, Sufi's, Sunnah, Wife, Wisdom, Women

Women in the Quran and the Sunnah

In Islam there is absolutely no difference between men and women as far as their relationship to Allah is concerned, as both are promised the same reward for good conduct and the same punishment for evil conduct.

The Quran says:

“And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women.”

[Noble Quran 2:228]

The Quran, in addressing the believers, often uses the expression, ‘believing men and women’ to emphasize the equality of men and women in regard to their respective duties, rights, virtues and merits. It says:

“For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.”

[Noble Quran 33:35]

This clearly contradicts the assertion of the Christian Fathers that women do not possess souls and that they will exist as sexless beings in the next life. The Quran says that women have souls in exactly the same way as men and will enter Paradise if they do good:

“Enter into Paradise, you and your wives, with delight.”

[Noble Quran 43:70]

“Who so does that which is right, and believes, whether male or female, him or her will We quicken to happy life.”

[Noble Quran 16:97]

The Quran admonishes those men who oppress or ill-treat women:

“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them – except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it a great deal of good.”

[Noble Quran 4:19]

Considering the fact that before the advent of Islam the pagan Arabs used to bury their female children alive, make women dance naked in the vicinity of the Ka’bah during their annual fairs, and treat women as mere chattels and objects of sexual pleasure possessing no rights or position whatsoever, these teachings of the Noble Quran were revolutionary. Unlike other religions, which regarded women as being possessed of inherent sin and wickedness and men as being possessed of inherent virtue and nobility, Islam regards men and women as being of the same essence created from a single soul.

The Quran declares:

“O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from this pair scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence Allah, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and reverence the wombs (that bore you); for Allah ever watches over you.”

[Noble Quran 4:1]

The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Women are the twin halves of men.” The Quran emphasizes the essential unity of men and women in a most beautiful simile:

“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.”

[Noble Quran 2:187]

Just as a garment hides our nakedness, so do husband and wife, by entering into the relationship of marriage, secure each other’s chastity. The garment gives comfort to the body; so does the husband find comfort in his wife’s company and she in his. “The garment is the grace, the beauty, the embellishment of the body, so too are wives to their husbands as their husbands are to them.” Islam does not consider woman “an instrument of the Devil”, but rather the Quran calls her Muhsana – a fortress against Satan because a good woman, by marrying a man, helps him keep to the path of rectitude in his life. It is for this reason that marriage was considered by the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) as a most virtuous act. He said: “When a man marries, he has completed one half of his religion.” He enjoined matrimony on Muslims by saying: “Marriage is part of my way and whoever keeps away from my way is not from me (i.e. is not my follower).” The Quran has given the raison d’être of marriage in the following words:

“And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

[Noble Quran 30:21]

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was full of praise for virtuous and chaste women. He said:

“The world and all things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman. He once told the future khalifah, ‘Umar: “Shall I not inform you about the best treasure a man can hoard? It is a virtuous wife who pleases him whenever he looks towards her, and who guards herself when he is absent from her.”

On other occasions the Prophet said:

“The best property a man can have is a remembering tongue (about Allah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.”

And again:

“The world, the whole of it, is a commodity and the best of the commodities of the world is a virtuous wife.”

Before the advent of Islam women were often treated worse than animals. The Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims:

“Fear Allah in respect of women.”

And:

“The best of you are they who behave best to their wives.” And:

“A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good.”

And:

“The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutbah on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:

“Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means.”

In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female children would act as a screen for them against the fire of Hell:

It is narrated by the Prophet’s wife, Ayshah, that a woman entered her house with two of her daughters. She asked for charity but Ayshah could not find anything except a date, which was given to her. The woman divided it between her two daughters and did not eat any herself. Then she got up and left. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came to the house, Ayshah told him about what had happened and he declared that when the woman was brought to account (on the Day of Judgment) about her two daughters they would act as a screen for her from the fires of Hell.

The worst calamity for a woman is when her husband passes away and, as a widow, the responsibility of maintaining the children falls upon her. In the Eastern World, where a woman does not always go out to earn her living, the problems of widowhood are indescribable. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) upheld the cause of widows. Most of his wives were widows. In an age when widows were rarely permitted to remarry, the Prophet encouraged his followers to marry them. He was always ready to help widows and exhorted his followers to do the same.

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said:

“One who makes efforts (to help) the widow or a poor person is like a Mujahid (warrior) in the path of Allah, or like one who stands up for prayers in the night and fasts in the day.”

Woman as mother commands great respect in Islam. The Noble Quran speaks of the rights of the mother in a number of verses. It enjoins Muslims to show respect to their mothers and serve them well even if they are still unbelievers. The Prophet states emphatically that the rights of the mother are paramount.

Abu Hurayrah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked:

“O Messenger of Allah, who is the person who has the greatest right on me with regards to kindness and attention?”

He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your father.”

In another tradition, the Prophet advised a believer not to join the war against the Quraish in defense of Islam, but to look after his mother, saying that his service to his mother would be a cause of his salvation. Mu’awiyah, the son of Jahimah, reported that Jahimah came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, “Messenger of Allah! I want to join the fighting (in the path of Allah) and I have come to seek your advice.” He said, “Then remain in your mother’s service, because Paradise is under her feet.”

The Prophet’s followers accepted his teachings and brought about a revolution in their social attitude towards women. They no longer considered women as mere chattels, but as an integral part of society. For the first time women were given the right to have a share in inheritance. In the new social climate, women rediscovered themselves and became highly active members of society rendering useful service during the wars which the pagan Arabs forced on the emerging Muslim Ummah. They carried provisions for the soldiers, nursed them, and even fought alongside them if it was necessary. It became a common sight to see women helping their husbands in the fields, carrying on trade and business independently, and going out of their homes to satisfy their needs.

Ayshah reported that Saudah bint Zam’ah went out one night. ‘Umar saw her and recognized her and said, “By God, O Saudah, why do you not hide yourself from us?” She went back to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and told him about it while he was having supper in her room, and he said, “It is permitted by Allah for you to go out for your needs.” The predominant idea in the teachings of Islam with regard to men and women is that a husband and wife should be full-fledged partners in making their home a happy and prosperous place, that they should be loyal and faithful to one another, and genuinely interested in each other’s welfare and the welfare of their children. A woman is expected to exercise a humanizing influence over her husband and to soften the sternness inherent in his nature. A man is enjoined to educate the women in his care so that they cultivate the qualities in which they, by their very nature, excel.

These aspects were much emphasized by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). He exhorted men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children.

He said:

“Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah’s laws.”

Once Mu’awiyah asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), “What are the rights that a wife has over her husband?” The Prophet replied, “Feed her when you take your food, give her clothes to wear when you wear clothes, refrain from giving her a slap on the face or abusing her, and do not separate from your wife, except within the house.” Once a woman came to the Prophet with a complaint against her husband. He told her: “There is no woman who removes something to replace it in its proper place, with a view to tidying her husband’s house, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for her. Nor is there a man who walks with his wife hand-in-hand, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for him; and if he puts his arm round her shoulder in love, his virtue is increased tenfold.” Once he was heard praising the women of the tribe of Quraish, “…because they are the kindest to their children while they are infants and because they keep a careful watch over the belongings of their husbands.”

The Shari’ah regards women as the spiritual and intellectual equals of men. The main distinction it makes between them is in the physical realm based on the equitable principle of fair division of labor. It allots the more strenuous work to the man and makes him responsible for the maintenance of the family. It allots the work of managing the home and the upbringing and training of children to the woman, work which has the greatest importance in the task of building a healthy and prosperous society.

It is a fact, however, that sound administration within the domestic field is impossible without a unified policy. For this reason the Shari’ah requires a man, as head of the family, to consult with his family and then to have the final say in decisions concerning it. In doing so he must not abuse his prerogative to cause any injury to his wife. Any transgression of this principle involves for him the risk of losing the favor of Allah, because his wife is not his subordinate but she is, to use the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), ‘the queen of her house’, and this is the position a true believer is expected to give his wife. In contrast to these enlightened teachings of Islam in respect of women, Western talk of women’s liberation or emancipation is actually a disguised form of exploitation of her body, deprivation of her honor, and degradation of her soul!

Prof. ‘Abdur Rahman I. Doi

Related articles

• Jihad: What a Misapprehension! (islamaffairfoundation.wordpress.com)
• God & tatoos: Some thoughts on the Islamic view of tattoos (mcvmagazine.com)
• :::NIGERIA: From Suufiyyah To Irja’, The Abode Of Sunnah Is Still Far::: (truelysalafiyyah.wordpress.com)
• The Ten Commandments in Islam (ministry786.wordpress.com)
• Translation: Jamiyyathu Salaf’s ‘Al-Andhalus’ sermon (minivannews.com)
• Does Quran teaches that Muslims cannot be friend of Jews or Christians? (makashfa.wordpress.com)
• Can Muslims get and be more involved in saving Wildlife and the Environment? (hadhramouts.blogspot.com)
• The ‘Hadith’ Debate (furqanblog.com)
• Islam And Geology (worldgeoscience.wordpress.com)
• Naseehah (Sincerity of Purpose) to Allah and to the Muslims (dawatussalafiyyah.wordpress.com)

A Parents’ Problem or A Woman’s?

Tags

A Parents' Problem or Woman's?, Beauty, Birth Control, Death, Freedom, God, Heart, Human, Husband, Life, Love, Men, Mother, Motherhood, Peace, Quotes, Relationship, religion, Wife, Women, World, Youth

A Parents’ Problem or Woman’s?

,,,

No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body.

No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.

Think! Did your Mother Consciously Choose to be or not to be your Mother?

,,,

---

A Parents’ Problem or Woman’s?

By Margaret Sanger

Many people who believe in Birth Control as the means of voluntary motherhood say that the propaganda of the movement is directed too much to women and too little to men. They contend that the appeal should be to men quite as much as to women and that a strong effort should be made to arouse the masculine half of humanity to its responsibilities in relation to the evils growing out of the enslavement of the reproductive function.

It is true that the propaganda of the Birth Control movement in America has been addressed almost entirely to women. It has been couched in the terms of woman’s experience. Its prime importance to her has been continuously and consistently stressed. The reason for this course is at once fundamental and practical.

The basic freedom of the world is woman’s freedom. A free race cannot be born of slave mothers. A woman enchained cannot choose but give a measure of bondage to her sons and daughters. No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.

It does not greatly alter the case that some women call themselves free because they earn their own livings, while others profess freedom because they defy the conventions of sex relationship. She who earns her own living gains a sort of freedom that is not to be undervalued but in quality and in quantity it is of little account beside the untrammeled choice of mating or not mating, of being a mother or not being a mother. She gains food and clothing and shelter, at least, without submitting to the charity of her companion, but the earning of her own living does not give her the development of her inner sex urge, far deeper and more powerful in its outworkings than any of these mere externals. In order to have that development, she must still meet and solve the problem of motherhood.

With the so-called “free” woman, who chooses a mate in defiance of convention, freedom is largely a question of character and audacity. If she does attain to an unrestrained choice of a mate, she is still in a position to be enslaved through her reproductive powers. Indeed, the pressure of law and custom upon the woman not legally married is likely to make her more of a slave than the woman fortunate enough to marry the man of her choice.

Look at it from any standpoint you will, suggest any solution you will, conventional or unconventional, sanctioned by law or in defiance of law, woman is in the same position, fundamentally, until she is able to determine for herself whether she will be a mother and to fix the number of her offspring. This unavoidable situation is alone enough to make Birth Control, first of all a woman’s problem. On the very face of the matter, voluntary motherhood is chiefly the concern of the mother.

It is persistently urged, however, that since sex expression is the act of two, the responsibility of controlling the results should not be shifted to woman. Is it fair, we are asked, to give her the task of protecting herself when she is, perhaps, less rugged in physique than her mate, and has, at all events, the normal, periodic inconvenience of her sex?

We must examine this phase of the problem in two lights – that of the ideal and of the conditions working toward the ideal. In an ideal society, no doubt, Birth Control would become the concern of the man as well as the woman. The hard, inescapable fact which we encounter today is that man has not only refused any such responsibility but has individually and collectively sought to prevent woman from obtaining knowledge by which she could assume this responsibility for herself. She is still in the position of a dependent today because her mate has refused to consider her as an individual apart from his needs. She is still bound because she has in the past left the solution of the problem to him. Having left it to him, she finds that instead of rights, she has only such privileges as she has gained by petitioning, coaxing, and cozening. Having left it to him, she is exploited, driven and enslaved to his desires.

While it is true that he suffers many evils as the consequence of this situation, she suffers vastly more. While it is true that he should be awakened to the cause of these evils, we know that they come home to her with crush-force every day. It is she who has the long burden of carrying, bearing and rearing the unwanted children. It is she who must watch bedside the beds of pain where lie the babies who suffer because they have come into overcrowded homes. It is her heart that the sight of the deformed, the subnormal, the undernourished, the overworked child smites first and oftenest and hardest. It is her love life that dies first in the fear of undesired pregnancy; it is her self-expression that perishes first and most hopelessly because of it.

Conditions, rather than theories, facts, rather than dreams, govern the problem. They place it squarely upon the shoulders of woman. She has learned that whatever the moral responsibility of the man in this direction may be, he does not discharge it. She has learned that, loveable and considerate as the individual husband may be, she has nothing to expect from men in the mass, when they make laws and decree customs. She knows that regardless of what ought to be, the brutal, unavoidable fact is that she will never receive her freedom until she takes it for herself.

Having learned this much, she has yet something more to learn. Women are too much inclined to follow in footsteps of men, to try to think as men think, to try to solve the general problems of life as men solve them. If after attaining their freedom, women accept conditions in the spheres of government, industry, art, morals and religion as they find them, they will be but taking a leaf out of man’s book. The woman is not needed to do man’s work. She is not needed to think man’s thoughts. She need not fear that the masculine spirit, almost universally dominant, will fail to take care of its own. Her mission is not to enhance the masculine spirit, but to express the feminine spirit; hers is not to preserve a man-made world but to create a human world by the infusion of the feminine element into all of its activities.

Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be told how to use her freedom; she must find out for herself. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that within her which struggles for expression. Her eyes must be less upon what is–more clearly upon what should be. She must listen only with a frankly questioning attitude to the dogmatized, fossilized opinions of church, state and society. When she chooses her new, free course of action, it must be in the light of her own opinion – of her own intuition. Only so can she give play to the feminine spirit. Only thus can she free her mate from the bondage which he wrought for himself when he wrought hers. Only thus can she restore to him that of which he robbed himself in restricting her. Only thus can she remake the world.

The world is, indeed, hers to remake; it is hers to build and to recreate. Even as she has permitted the suppression of her own feminine element and the consequent impoverishment of industry, art, letters, sciences, morals, religions, and social intercourse, so it is hers to enrich all these.

Woman must have her freedom–the fundamental freedom of choosing whether or not she shall be a mother and how many children she will have. Regardless of what man’s attitude may be, that problem is hers–and before it can be his, it is hers alone.

She goes through “the valley of the shadow of death” alone, each time a babe is born. As it is the right neither of man nor the state to coerce her into this ordeal, so it is her right to decide whether she will endure it. That right to decide imposes upon her the duty of clearing the way to knowledge by which she may make and carry out the decision.

Birth Control is a woman’s problem. The quicker she accepts it as hers and hers alone, the quicker will society respect motherhood. The quicker, too, will the world be made a fit place for children to live.

,,,

Margaret Sanger, “A Parents’ Problem or Woman’s?,” March 1919.

Published article. Source: Birth Control Review, Mar. 1919, 6-7 , Margaret Sanger Microfilm S70:817 .

This is part of a series of articles written in response to a letter to the editor signed M B H under the title “Birth Control A Parents’ Problem or Woman’s?” that appeared in the in the Nov. 1918 issueBirth Control Review, 7. It was immediately followed by a response from Sanger which indicated the Birth Control Review would publish a discussion of the issues raised in future issues. For these discussions see, Lily Winner, “A Woman’s Problem,” Dec. 1918, 5, 15-16; Mary Ware Dennett, “The Problem of Both,” Dec. 1918, 16; E R C, “Problem of Both,” Jan. 1919, 11; {no author}, “A Fathers’ Problem Too,” Jan. 1919, 11; M. C. Lasell, “The Woman’s Problem,” Jan. 1919, 15-16; Lulu MacClure Clark, “Woman Must Solve it Alone,” Jan. 1919, 16. An editorial preceding this article reads: “This article by Margaret Sanger closes the discussion of this subject, which has been given space in several numbers of the BIRTH CONTROL REVIEW.”

A Man With Dreams

Tags

A Man With Dreams, Allah, Beauty, Happiness, Happy Ramadan, Human, Husband, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Men, Peace, Quotes, Qura'n and Hadiths, Recomendations, religion, Sufi's, Wife, Wisdom, Women, World, Youth

A Man With Dreams

,,,

A man with dreams needs a woman with vision.

Her perspective,

faith and support will change his reality.

If she doesn’t challenge you,

then she’s no good for you.

Men who want to stay ordinary will tell you not to have expectations of them.

Men who want to be great will expect you to push them,

pray with them and invest in them. 

,,,

May This Ramadan be as bright as ever.

May this Ramadan bring joy, health and wealth to you.

May the festival of lights brighten up you and your near and dear ones lives.

May this Ramadan bring in u the most brightest and choicest happiness and love you have ever Wished for.

May this Ramadan bring you the utmost in peace and prosperity.

May lights triumph over darkness.

May peace transcend the earth.

May the spirit of light illuminate the world.

May the light that we celebrate at Ramadan show us the way and lead us together on the path of peace and social harmony.

Wish you a very happy Ramadan Mubarak. ❤

International Women’s Day !!

Tags

Allah, Arts and Entertainment, Beauty, China, Happiness, Heart, History, Human, Husband, International Women's Day, Islam, Life, Love, Men, Mother's Day, People, Relationship, Russia, Wife, Women, Youth

International Women’s Day !!

Your Mother carried you inside of her womb for nine whole months, she felt sick for months with nausea, then she watched her feet swell and her skin stretch and tear. 

She struggled to climb stairs, she got breathless quickly and even a simple task like putting her shoes on was a huge struggle for her. She suffered many sleepless nights while you kicked and squirmed inside of her and while you demanded that she scoffed junk at 3am, she then went through EXCRUCIATING PAIN to bring you into this world. 

She became your nurse, your chef, your maid, your chauffeur, your biggest fan, your teacher, your agony aunt and your best friend. She’s struggled for you, cried over you, fought for you, put herself second for you, hoped the best for you and has driven herself insane with worry for you but never has she asked for anything in return because she loves you and did it all on love alone!

Most of us take our Mums for granted but there are people who have lost or have never even seen theirs. If you have a loving Mother who did all of this for you, you are very lucky, never devalue her worth because one day, you’ll wish you hadn’t!

To every women who is a mother, and to every other women who is going to be one day, A very very Happy Women’s Day

 

OWS

She Understood

Tags

Allah, Arts, Beauty, God, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Husband, Life, Lord, Love, Lovers, Men, Quotes, Relationship, She Understood, Sufi's, Wife, Wisdom, Women, World, Youth

 

She Understood

 

Every woman comes with his own instructions.

They’re written in his smile,

his eyes,

through his actions,

and in his tears.

Do you care enough to read them?

 

Have a wonderful weekend my beautiful minds..:)

Meanings Of Happiness

Tags

Allah, Arts, Beauty, Death, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Husband, Life, Lord, Love, Lovers, Meanings Of Happiness, Men, Quotes, Sufi's, Wars, Wife, Wisdom, Women, World, Youth

Meaning Of Happiness

The doors we go through or close each day decide the lives we choose to live. Sometimes it’s the doors we least expect that can change our lives the most….!

 

Is This Verbal Diarrhea

Tags

Anger, Beauty, Current Issues, Funny, God, Hate, Heart, Human, Humor, Is This Verbal Diarrhea, Jokes, Life, Love, Men, Recomendations, Relationship, Wife, Women, World, Youth

 Verbal Diarrhea; Just a bit humorous facts……… 🙂 

Getting all this you guys may enjoy it an please don’t hesitate to laugh though……

For the past few weeks I’ve been reading my mates various magazines that come to that house each month (Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Vogue, Little Gus has a Fashion Magazine addiction, etc) and I came across an article that I found very interesting, and a bit entertaining. It was entitled “The Lies Men Tell”–and it was written by a man.

As I read more, I found it hilarious. It was written with such a matter-of-fact nature, like it’s normal or even acceptable that these common lies pour out of men’s mouth like verbal diarrhea. This article got me thinking about the lies that come out of women’s mouths as well.

There are things we indeed lie to our significant others about in order to spare their feelings, save a conversation from getting too intense, or…just because we have a little bit of verbal outpouring of our own. So, to the men out there– here are the lies they tell.

1. “Size doesn’t matter.”

trust me, it does. The term “it’s not the size that counts but how you use it” was most likely coined by a man who was probably ashamed of his very small parts. Gentleman…yes, size matters. Be logical.

,,,

2. “I LOVE your mom”!

Odds are, we don’t. We can sense that she will never think we are good enough for you, and we can also sense that we’ll never quite measure up to her in your eyes. We may like her, but we have a sense that she’s constantly “judging”.

…

3. “You’re the best I’ve ever had!”

Strictly speaking in regards to actual number of orgasms, you may not be ranked numero uno. But who counts anyway?

,,,

4. “I’ve only slept with __?____ amount of people.”

Add a few numbers to that list. Then, if we really love you, you should add a few more.

,,,

5. “Oh I’ve never done that!”

Odds are we have done it at least once, or we’ve thought about doing it.

,,,

6. “I’ve never felt this way about  anybody before”

… We have. We’ve probably said that to each guy we’ve ever “fell” for. Everything feels the same in the beginning of a relationship.

,,,

7. “I’ve never (kissed, done this, gone home with) a stranger before!”

Sure we have, we just don’t want you to think we’re a slut.

,,,

8. “I’m not looking for a relationship”.

We are. We either don’t think you are good enough, or we think you don’t want one and we don’t want to appear needy.

,,,

9. “I got them on sale”. No we didn’t.

We spent half our rent money on them, but we just don’t want you to know that.

So, women tell little white lies as well. Just like men, they have a certain way we’d like to look and be portrayed, and certain facts from our lives just don’t paint that picture. As for the important stuff—if they love you, and I mean really love you– you’ll know what’s truth and what’s not. And if there’s love, it shouldn’t matter anyway.

Believe me?

,,,

,,,

 

Registered hub on July 11, 2008

Dead Heat

Tags

Allah, Beauty, Day, Death, English Poetry, Ghosts, Happiness, Heart, Heat, Life, Love, Lovers, Marriage, Night, Poetry, Recomendations, Relationship, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wife, Wisdom, Woman, Women, Youth

Dead Heat

Numbers melt off the clock in this dead heat,

clouds dock between telephone wires

in a stagnant sky to watch the concrete

soften,

steam and stick to car tyres.

Even the bluebottles admit defeat,

one last thud against burning glass.

The day dies as red as suburban brick,

midges swirl and swarm in the grass

as stars flicker and clocks begin to tick

towards midnight.

A day passed

in non-existance;

breaths wait static

to be inhaled again,

like ghosts.

I hope you guys enjoy this song 🙂 as much as I do 😉

Only 99 Things About Guys

Tags

Beauty, Current Issues, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Husband, Life, Love, Men, Peace, Recomendations, Relationship, Sufi's, Wife, Wisdom, Women, World, Youth

,,,

 

1. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls. 

2. Guys love flirts. 

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards. 

4. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is. 

5. “Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering. 

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. 

7. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics. 

8. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile. 

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention. 

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend. 

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. 

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! 

13. Guys cry!!!!!!!! 

14. Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will. 

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much. 

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat. 

17. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back. 

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. 

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands. 

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like. 

21. When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you. 

22. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow.” 

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly. 

24. Guys hate gays! 

25. Guys love their moms. 

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses. 
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her. 

28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him. 

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does. 

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can. 

31. Like Eve, girls are guys EUR™ weaknesses. 

32. Guys are very open about themselves. 

33. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long. 

34. No guy is bad when he is courting. 

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot. 

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty. 

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend. 

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice. 

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. 

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else. 

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. 

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one. 

43. Guys virtually brag about anything. 

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them. 

45. Guys think too much. 

46. Guys’ fantasies are unlimited. 

47. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does! 

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!! 

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl. 

50. It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more. 

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy. 

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up. 

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically. 

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power. 

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends. 

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous. 

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is. 

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me.” 

59. Guys don’t really have final decisions. 

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him. 

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. 

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something. 

63. Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong. 

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness. 

65. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do. 

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him. 

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups. 

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. 

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding! 

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes. 

71. A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage. 

72. Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection. 

73. Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised. 

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys. 

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls. 

76. Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well. 

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more. 

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite. 

79. Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls. 

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong. 

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it. 

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears. 

83. Guys’ weakest point is at the knee. 

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out. 

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things. 

86. When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed of you or he’s criticizing you. 

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him. 

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you. 

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does. 

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience. 

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you! 

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why. 

93. When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you. 

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes. 

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl. 

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair! 

97. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you. 

98. Guys hate girls who overreact. 

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

Have a Great Weekend 🙂

The Question Is, Can Men And Women Really Just Be Friends?

Tags

Anger, Beauty, Can Men And Women Really Just Be Friends?, Current Issues, Friends, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Husband, Life, Love, Men, Recomendations, Relationship, The Question Is, Use It Or Abuse It, Videos, Wife, Wisdom, Women, World, Youth

Very much like the relationships between men and women now. The conventions were different, but the essence of the relationships is the same. Some people are dominating and some are more retiring. Shakespeare shows us all kinds of couples. Couples which involve a strong man and a weaker woman are Othello and Desdemona, Demetrius and Helena, and Hamlet and Ophelia. Couples with a strong woman and a weak man include Helena and Bertram, Lady Macbeth and Macbeth, Goneril and Albany, Phoebe and Silvius, and Portia and Bassanio. Couples where both are strong include Beatrice and Benedick, Antony and Cleopatra and Petruchio and Katharine. Hero and Claudio both are weak. Shakespeare would not have shown us this broad array of different relationships had the reality of his world been as monochromatic as some would like us to believe.

As we follow our gut instincts sometimes, as if we struck with an idea about doing a repetitive rubbish in an entirely new way. We are not as restrained by our old habits now, as it empowering us to analyze our methods in a different light. I thought, we won’t ever know unless you give it a try. Even if I am not immediately successful, don’t give up; success may require multiple attempts before you get it just right. We all do our cockups time to time… We should remind ourselves that “patience is virtue”.

The phrase “patience is a virtue” is just a way of expressing the importance of being patient. A virtue is a trait or quality deemed to be morally excellent and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Patience can make us better people. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay implying self control and forbearance. When we say “patience is a virtue” we are exposing our moral values and expressing the importance of patience as a foundation of principle. So to answer the question patience is not a virtue until it truly becomes a virtue and knowing how diverse the spectrum of individualism is I’m sure patience is a vice (opposite of virtue) to some. Patience is a necessity for a happy existence and that is why the phrase is so often used. 

Came across an article and as I read which is written by Mamelody. And I asked myself the question, can men and women really just be friend? This is probably one of the most challenging aspects of human interaction. According to     survey conducted by the American Institute of Society Studies (AISS) it found that almost 98% of people who participated in that survey believe it is impossible for a man and woman to have a plutonic friendship without other factors being involved.

Take for instance my friend Jack Herness, a real estate broker. He has just been divorced after a three year marriage and he says that one of reasons to that was his friendship with women. “When I was dating my wife I made it clear to her that the majority of my friends were female. She accepted this in the beginning but gradually she could no longer control her jealousy to the point where she even fumed when I hugged my own sister,” he says. “I grew up in a house of women. I have four sisters, and I’m the last born and only son. My dad died when I was three so I was raised by my mother and sisters. All of my life my best friends have been girls.”

The fact is relationships between men and women are becoming complicated every day. It is normally impossible to imagine being friends with a member of the opposite without one factor in particular getting in the way – SEX!- Oscar Wilde puts this brilliantly from Lady Windermere’s Fan, which says, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

Is culture reflecting reality?

Is it impossible for men to be friends with women, especially those they find attractive?

Statistics from the AISS also found that it is much easier for a woman to befriend a man with no sexual innuendo than it is for a man to be friends with a woman. Now being friends is not only about the sex, it also depends on other factors such as similarities in interests and hobbies, the level of communication and a deep understanding of one another.

“I do honestly agree that men and women cannot be friends, in the long run “says Carlos Hernandez, a relationship expert and coach.

“I met a wonderful lady about 27 years ago and we were great friends for like 13 years.  We did everything best friends do but deep down my heart I was attracted to her madly. So many times I wanted to just grab her and make passionate love to her but I respected our friendship so I controlled myself for 13 years. After we both suffered divorces we went out one day on our usual outings and we had a little too much to drink. We made hot passionate love and today she is my wonderful wife and I always regret the years we wasted as just friends.”

In reality, men and women need to be friends in order for anything else to take place. A relationship that is not based on friendship is doomed to fail.  That being said it is never easy to maintain a friendship with a member of the opposite sex but it can be done.   Most people who find themselves in situations like these where their partners are good friends with a member of the opposite sex, tend to develop insecurities which ultimately lead to the destruction of their relationships.

Mandy Goldberg, a senior nurse at St Jude’s hospital in Milwaukee begs to differ.

“I have a couple of very close relationships with women as well, though my closest platonic relationships are with men. My husband fully supports me and understands this and so he never sees the need to feel insecure,” she says.

“The trick to maintaining a healthy friendship with a member of the opposite sex is to be open about it to your partner, and make sure your partner is friends with them too, that way there will be no room for fidelity of any sort.”

Now what if you have been intimate with someone, will it be possible for you to just be friends? “Definitely not,” says Mike Dobson, an Airport Engineer.

“After intimacy the friendship line has been crossed. I did make the mistake of sleeping with my best friend who was girl and after that it was impossible to just be friends after I tasted the physical side.”

In conclusion, in the words of When Harry met Sally, Harry tells Sally “what I’m saying is –and this not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

,,,

,,,

,,,