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Tag Archives: Prophet

Women in the Qur’an and the Sunnah’

22 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, God, Heart, Islam, Life, Muslims, Qura'n, Relationship, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 11 Comments

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Allah, Beauty, Husband, Islam, Life, Love, Men, Muslim, Prophet, Qura'n, Relationship, Sufi's, Sunnah, Wife, Wisdom, Women

Women in the Quran and the Sunnah

women

In Islam there is absolutely no difference between men and women as far as their relationship to Allah is concerned, as both are promised the same reward for good conduct and the same punishment for evil conduct.

The Quran says:

“And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women.”

[Noble Quran 2:228]

The Quran, in addressing the believers, often uses the expression, ‘believing men and women’ to emphasize the equality of men and women in regard to their respective duties, rights, virtues and merits. It says:

“For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.”

[Noble Quran 33:35]

This clearly contradicts the assertion of the Christian Fathers that women do not possess souls and that they will exist as sexless beings in the next life. The Quran says that women have souls in exactly the same way as men and will enter Paradise if they do good:

“Enter into Paradise, you and your wives, with delight.”

[Noble Quran 43:70]

“Who so does that which is right, and believes, whether male or female, him or her will We quicken to happy life.”

[Noble Quran 16:97]

The Quran admonishes those men who oppress or ill-treat women:

“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them – except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it a great deal of good.”

[Noble Quran 4:19]

Considering the fact that before the advent of Islam the pagan Arabs used to bury their female children alive, make women dance naked in the vicinity of the Ka’bah during their annual fairs, and treat women as mere chattels and objects of sexual pleasure possessing no rights or position whatsoever, these teachings of the Noble Quran were revolutionary. Unlike other religions, which regarded women as being possessed of inherent sin and wickedness and men as being possessed of inherent virtue and nobility, Islam regards men and women as being of the same essence created from a single soul.

The Quran declares:

“O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from this pair scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence Allah, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and reverence the wombs (that bore you); for Allah ever watches over you.”

[Noble Quran 4:1]

The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Women are the twin halves of men.” The Quran emphasizes the essential unity of men and women in a most beautiful simile:

“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.”

[Noble Quran 2:187]

Just as a garment hides our nakedness, so do husband and wife, by entering into the relationship of marriage, secure each other’s chastity. The garment gives comfort to the body; so does the husband find comfort in his wife’s company and she in his. “The garment is the grace, the beauty, the embellishment of the body, so too are wives to their husbands as their husbands are to them.” Islam does not consider woman “an instrument of the Devil”, but rather the Quran calls her Muhsana – a fortress against Satan because a good woman, by marrying a man, helps him keep to the path of rectitude in his life. It is for this reason that marriage was considered by the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) as a most virtuous act. He said: “When a man marries, he has completed one half of his religion.” He enjoined matrimony on Muslims by saying: “Marriage is part of my way and whoever keeps away from my way is not from me (i.e. is not my follower).” The Quran has given the raison d’être of marriage in the following words:

“And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

[Noble Quran 30:21]

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was full of praise for virtuous and chaste women. He said:

“The world and all things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman. He once told the future khalifah, ‘Umar: “Shall I not inform you about the best treasure a man can hoard? It is a virtuous wife who pleases him whenever he looks towards her, and who guards herself when he is absent from her.”

On other occasions the Prophet said:

“The best property a man can have is a remembering tongue (about Allah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.”

And again:

“The world, the whole of it, is a commodity and the best of the commodities of the world is a virtuous wife.”

Before the advent of Islam women were often treated worse than animals. The Prophet wanted to put a stop to all cruelties to women. He preached kindness towards them. He told the Muslims:

“Fear Allah in respect of women.”

And:

“The best of you are they who behave best to their wives.” And:

“A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, let him be pleased with one that is good.”

And:

“The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutbah on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:

“Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means.”

In Islam a woman is a completely independent personality. She can make any contract or bequest in her own name. She is entitled to inherit in her position as mother, as wife, as sister and as daughter. She has perfect liberty to choose her husband. The pagan society of pre-Islamic Arabia had an irrational prejudice against their female children whom they used to bury alive. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was totally opposed to this practice. He showed them that supporting their female children would act as a screen for them against the fire of Hell:

It is narrated by the Prophet’s wife, Ayshah, that a woman entered her house with two of her daughters. She asked for charity but Ayshah could not find anything except a date, which was given to her. The woman divided it between her two daughters and did not eat any herself. Then she got up and left. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came to the house, Ayshah told him about what had happened and he declared that when the woman was brought to account (on the Day of Judgment) about her two daughters they would act as a screen for her from the fires of Hell.

The worst calamity for a woman is when her husband passes away and, as a widow, the responsibility of maintaining the children falls upon her. In the Eastern World, where a woman does not always go out to earn her living, the problems of widowhood are indescribable. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) upheld the cause of widows. Most of his wives were widows. In an age when widows were rarely permitted to remarry, the Prophet encouraged his followers to marry them. He was always ready to help widows and exhorted his followers to do the same.

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said:

“One who makes efforts (to help) the widow or a poor person is like a Mujahid (warrior) in the path of Allah, or like one who stands up for prayers in the night and fasts in the day.”

Woman as mother commands great respect in Islam. The Noble Quran speaks of the rights of the mother in a number of verses. It enjoins Muslims to show respect to their mothers and serve them well even if they are still unbelievers. The Prophet states emphatically that the rights of the mother are paramount.

Abu Hurayrah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked:

“O Messenger of Allah, who is the person who has the greatest right on me with regards to kindness and attention?”

He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your mother.” “Then who?” He replied, “Your father.”

In another tradition, the Prophet advised a believer not to join the war against the Quraish in defense of Islam, but to look after his mother, saying that his service to his mother would be a cause of his salvation. Mu’awiyah, the son of Jahimah, reported that Jahimah came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, “Messenger of Allah! I want to join the fighting (in the path of Allah) and I have come to seek your advice.” He said, “Then remain in your mother’s service, because Paradise is under her feet.”

The Prophet’s followers accepted his teachings and brought about a revolution in their social attitude towards women. They no longer considered women as mere chattels, but as an integral part of society. For the first time women were given the right to have a share in inheritance. In the new social climate, women rediscovered themselves and became highly active members of society rendering useful service during the wars which the pagan Arabs forced on the emerging Muslim Ummah. They carried provisions for the soldiers, nursed them, and even fought alongside them if it was necessary. It became a common sight to see women helping their husbands in the fields, carrying on trade and business independently, and going out of their homes to satisfy their needs.

Ayshah reported that Saudah bint Zam’ah went out one night. ‘Umar saw her and recognized her and said, “By God, O Saudah, why do you not hide yourself from us?” She went back to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and told him about it while he was having supper in her room, and he said, “It is permitted by Allah for you to go out for your needs.” The predominant idea in the teachings of Islam with regard to men and women is that a husband and wife should be full-fledged partners in making their home a happy and prosperous place, that they should be loyal and faithful to one another, and genuinely interested in each other’s welfare and the welfare of their children. A woman is expected to exercise a humanizing influence over her husband and to soften the sternness inherent in his nature. A man is enjoined to educate the women in his care so that they cultivate the qualities in which they, by their very nature, excel.

These aspects were much emphasized by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). He exhorted men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children.

He said:

“Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah’s laws.”

Once Mu’awiyah asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), “What are the rights that a wife has over her husband?” The Prophet replied, “Feed her when you take your food, give her clothes to wear when you wear clothes, refrain from giving her a slap on the face or abusing her, and do not separate from your wife, except within the house.” Once a woman came to the Prophet with a complaint against her husband. He told her: “There is no woman who removes something to replace it in its proper place, with a view to tidying her husband’s house, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for her. Nor is there a man who walks with his wife hand-in-hand, but that Allah sets it down as a virtue for him; and if he puts his arm round her shoulder in love, his virtue is increased tenfold.” Once he was heard praising the women of the tribe of Quraish, “…because they are the kindest to their children while they are infants and because they keep a careful watch over the belongings of their husbands.”

The Shari’ah regards women as the spiritual and intellectual equals of men. The main distinction it makes between them is in the physical realm based on the equitable principle of fair division of labor. It allots the more strenuous work to the man and makes him responsible for the maintenance of the family. It allots the work of managing the home and the upbringing and training of children to the woman, work which has the greatest importance in the task of building a healthy and prosperous society.

It is a fact, however, that sound administration within the domestic field is impossible without a unified policy. For this reason the Shari’ah requires a man, as head of the family, to consult with his family and then to have the final say in decisions concerning it. In doing so he must not abuse his prerogative to cause any injury to his wife. Any transgression of this principle involves for him the risk of losing the favor of Allah, because his wife is not his subordinate but she is, to use the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), ‘the queen of her house’, and this is the position a true believer is expected to give his wife. In contrast to these enlightened teachings of Islam in respect of women, Western talk of women’s liberation or emancipation is actually a disguised form of exploitation of her body, deprivation of her honor, and degradation of her soul!

Prof. ‘Abdur Rahman I. Doi

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The Path

07 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Feelings, Heart, Human, Islam, Life, Love, Peace, Poems, Poetry, Relationship, Sufi's, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 24 Comments

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Allah, Beauty, Business, Dream, Happiness, Heart, Human, Khalil Gibran, Lebanese American, Life, Love, Men, Peace, Pinion, Poetry, Prophet, Psychology, Relationship, religion, Social Sciences, Sufi's, Women, World, Youth

The Path

When love beckons to you,

follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold,

you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden

among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you,

believe in him,

Though his voice,

may shatter your dreams

as the north wind,

lays waste the garden.

Khalil Gibran

51.506577 -0.026095

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Isolation

16 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Feelings, Heart, Life, Love, Muslims, Poems, Poetry, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Sufi's, Wisdom, World

≈ 33 Comments

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Allah, Art, Beauty, Canada, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Khalil Gibran, Leo Buscaglia, Life, Love, Men, Ontario, Prophet, Quotes, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Relationship, Sufi's, United States, Wisdom, Women, World

 

Isolation

 

Some of you say:

‘Joy is greater than sorrow.’

And others say:

‘Nay, sorrow is greater.’

But I say unto you,

they are inseparable.

Together they come,

and when one sits alone with you at your board,

remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

 ,,,

Khalil Gibran

,,,

51.506577 -0.026095

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Muslim Woman And Her Husband

08 Thursday Dec 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Anger, Beauty, Children, Culture, English, Feelings, God, Hadith, Health, Heart, Hindus, History, Human, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Medicine, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Pics, Politics, Power, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Qura'n, Relationship, Safety, Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Videos, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

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Abbas, al-Khansa, Allah, Anger, Beauty, Current Issues, Death, English Poetry, God, Heart, Human, Husband, Islam, Life, Lord, Lovers, Man, Marriage, Men, Muhammad, Muslim Woman and Her Husband, Peace, Prophet, Quotes, Qura'n, Qura'n and Hadiths, Recomendations, Relationship, religion, Riyadh, Subhanahu wa ta'ala, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Victory, war, Wars, Wife, Wisdom, Woman, Women, World, Youth

By  Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi

Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim M. Kunna and Abu  Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur Copyright and published by the International Islâmic Publishing House (IIPH), Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1999.

Marriage in Islam

In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:

( And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . .) (Qur’an 30:21)

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works.

The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.”1

A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.

How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honored and loved? This is what will be explained in the following pages:

She chooses a good husband

One of the ways in which Islam has honored woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.

There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:

“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’” 2

At first, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.

Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” – her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So Allah’s Messenger  sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”3

According to a report given by Bukhari from Ibn ‘Abbas, she said, “I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behavior, but I do not like him.”

Islam has protected woman’s pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone, no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like.

There is no clearer indication of this than the story of Barirah, an Ethiopian slave-girl who belonged to ‘Utbah ibn Abu Lahab, who forced her to marry another slave whose name was Mughith. She would never have accepted him as a husband if she had been in control of her own affairs. ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) took pity on her, so she bought her and set her free. Then this young woman felt that she was free and in control of her own affairs, and that she could take a decision about her marriage. She asked her husband for a divorce. Her husband used to follow her, weeping, whilst she rejected him. Bukhari quotes Ibn ‘Abbas describing this freed woman who insisted on the annulment of her marriage to someone she did not love; the big-hearted Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) commented on this moving sight, and sought to intervene.  Ibn ‘Abbas said:

“Barirah’s husband was a slave, who was known as Mughith. I can almost see him, running after her and crying, with tears running down onto his beard. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to ‘Abbas, ‘O ‘Abbas, do you not find it strange, how much Mugith loves Barirah, and how much Barirah hates Mughith?’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said (to Barirah), ‘Why do you not go back to him?’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, are you commanding me to do so?’ He said, ‘I am merely trying to intervene on his behalf.’ She said, ‘I have no need of him.’” 4

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was deeply moved by this display of human emotion: deep and overwhelming love on the part of the husband, and equally powerful hatred on the part of the wife. He could not help but remind the wife, and ask her why she did not go back to him, as he was her husband and the father of her child. This believing woman asked him, whether he was ordering her to do so: was this a command, a binding obligation? The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), this great law-giver and educator, replied that he was merely trying to intercede and bring about reconciliation if possible; he was not trying to force anybody to do something they did not wish to.

Let those stubborn, hard-hearted fathers who oppress their own daughters listen to the teaching of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam)!

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behavior, because these are the pillars of a successful marriage, and the best features of a husband. Islamic teaching indicates the importance of these qualities in a potential husband, as Islam obliges a woman to accept the proposal of anyone who has these qualities, lest fitnah and corruption become widespread in society:

“If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah and mischief will become widespread on earth.”5

Just as the true Muslim young man will not be attracted to the pretty girls who have grown up in a bad environment, so the Muslim young woman who is guided by her religion will not be attracted to stupid “play-boy” types, no matter how handsome they may be. Rather she will be attracted to the serious, educated, believing man who is clean-living and pure of heart, whose behavior is good and whose understanding of religion is sound. No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has said:

( Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity . . . .) (Qur’an 24:26)

This does not mean that the Muslim woman should completely ignore the matter of physical appearance, and put up with unattractiveness or ugliness. It is her right – as stated above – to marry a man for whom her heart may be filled with love, and who is pleasing to her both in his appearance and in his conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense of inner nature, or vice versa. A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect. The true Muslim woman is never dazzled by outward appearances, and she never lets them distract her from seeing the essence of a potential spouse.

The Muslim woman knows that the man has the right of qiwamah over her, as the Qur’an says:

( Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means. . .) (Qur’an 4:34)

Hence she wants to marry a man of whose qiwamah over her she will feel proud, one whom she will be happy to marry and never regret it. She wants a man who will take her hand in his and set out to fulfill their life’s mission of establishing a Muslim family and raising a new generation of intelligent and caring children, in an atmosphere of love and harmony, which will not be impeded by conflicting attitudes or religious differences. Believing men and believing women are supposed to walk side-by-side on the journey of life, which is a serious matter for the believer, so that they may fulfill the great mission with which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has entrusted mankind, men and women alike, as the Qur’an says:

( For Muslim men and women – for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise – for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur’an 33:35)

In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.

Among the great Muslim women who are known for their strength of character, lofty aspirations and far-sightedness in their choice of a husband is Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, who was one of the first Ansar women to embrace Islam. She was married to Malik ibn Nadar, and bore him a son, Anas. When she embraced Islam, her husband Malik was angry with her, and left her, but she persisted in her Islam. Shortly afterwards, she heard the news of his death, and she was still in the flower of her youth. She bore it all with the hope of reward, for the sake of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and devoted herself to taking care of her ten-year-old son Anas. She took him to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), so that he could serve him (and learn from him).

One of the best young men of Madinah, one of the best-looking, richest and strongest, came to seek her hand in marriage. This was Abu Talhah – before he became Muslim. Many of the young women of Yathrib liked him because of his wealth, strength and youthful good looks, and he thought that Umm Sulaym would joyfully rush to accept his offer. But to his astonishment, she told him, “O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in the ground and was carved into shape by the slave of Banu so-and-so.” He said, “Of course.” She said, “Do you not feel ashamed to prostrate yourself to a piece of wood that grew in the ground and was carved by the slave of Banu so-and-so?” Abu Talhah was stubborn, and hinted to her of an expensive dowry and luxurious lifestyle, but she persisted in her point of view, and told him frankly: “O Abu Talhah, a man like you could not be turned away, but you are a disbelieving man, and I am a Muslim woman. It is not permitted for me to marry you, but if you were to embrace Islam, that would be my dowry (mahr), and I would ask you for nothing more.”6

He returned the following day to try to tempt her with a larger dowry and more generous gift, but she stood firm, and her persistence and maturity only enhanced her beauty in his eyes. She said to him, “O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship was carved by the carpenter slave of so-and-so? If you were to set it alight, it would burn.” Her words came as a shock to Abu Talhah, and he asked himself, Does the Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  burn? Then he uttered the words: “Ashhadu an la ilaha ill-Allah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan rasul-Allah.”

Then Umm Sulaym said to her son Anas, with joy flooding her entire being, “O Anas, marry me to Abu Talhah.” So Anas brought witnesses and the marriage was solemnized.

Abu Talhah was so happy that he was determined to put all his wealth at Umm Sulaym’s disposal, but hers was the attitude of the selfless, proud, sincere believing woman. She told him, “O Abu Talhah, I married you for the sake of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and I will not take any other dowry.” She knew that when Abu Talhah embraced Islam, she did not only win herself a worthy husband, but she also earned a reward from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) that was better than owning red camels (the most highly-prized kind) in this world, as she had heard the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say:

“If Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) were to guide one person to Islam through you, it is better for you than owning red camels.”7

Such great Muslim women are examples worthy of emulation, from whom Muslim women may learn purity of faith, strength of character, soundness of belief and wisdom in choosing a husband.

She is obedient to her husband and shows him respect

The true Muslim woman is always obedient to her husband, provided that no sin is involved. She is respectful towards him and is always eager to please him and make him happy. If he is poor, she does not complain about his being unable to spend much. She does not complain about her housework, because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced. One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is Fatimah al-Zahra’, the daughter of Muhammad(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and the wife of ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib (radhiallahu anhu).  She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib said to her one day, “Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you.” She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. ‘Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said: “Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say ‘Subhan Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Al-hamdu lillah’ thirty-three times, and ‘Allahu akbar’ thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant.”

Then he bid them farewell and left, after telling them this divine help which would make them forget their tiredness and help them to overcome their exhaustion.

‘Ali (radhiallahu anhu) began to repeat the words that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had taught him. He said, “I never stopped doing that after he had taught me these words.” One of his companions asked him, “Not even on the night of Siffin?” He said, “Not even on the night of Siffin.”8

Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq served her husband al-Zubayr, and took care of the house. Her husband had a horse, which she took care of, feeding it and exercising it. She also repaired the water-bucket, made bread, and carried dates on her head from far away. Bukhari and Muslim report this in her own words:

“Al-Zubayr married me, and he had no wealth, no slaves, nothing except his horse. I used to feed his horse, looking after it and exercising it. I crushed date-stones to feed his camel. I used to bring water and repair the bucket, and I used to make bread but I could not bake it, so some of my Ansari neighbors, who were kind women, used to bake it for me. I used to carry the dates from the garden that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had given to al-Zubayr on my head, and this garden was two-thirds of a farsakh away. One day I was coming back with the dates on my head. I met Allah’s Messenger , who had a group of his Companions with him. He called me, then told his camel to sit down so that I could ride behind him. I told (al-Zubayr), ‘I felt shy, because I know that you are a jealous man.’ He said, ‘It is worse for me to see you carrying the dates on your head than to see you riding behind him.’ Later, Abu Bakr sent me a servant, who relieved me of having to take care of the horse; it was as if I had been released from slavery.”9

The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her house and husband. She knows her husband’s rights over her, and how great they are, as was confirmed by the Prophet’s words:

“No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.”10

And:

“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered women to prostrate to their husbands.”11

‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) asked Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): “Who has the greatest rights over a woman?” He said, “Her husband.” She asked, ‘And who has the greatest rights over a man?” He said, “His mother.”12

A woman came to ask the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.” He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”13

How can the Muslim woman complain about taking care of her house and husband when she hears these words of Prophetic guidance? She should fulfill her household duties and take care of her husband in a spirit of joy, because she is not carrying a tiresome burden, she is doing work in her home that she knows will bring reward from Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).

The Sahabah, may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) be pleased with them, and those who followed them understood this Islamic teaching and transmitted it from the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). When a bride was prepared for marriage, she would be told to serve her husband and take care of his rights. Thus the Muslim woman knew her duties towards her husband, and down through the ages caring for her husband and being a good wife were established womanly attributes. One example of this is what was said by the faqih al-Hanbali ibn al-Jawzi in his book Ahkam al-Nisa’ (p. 331): In the second century AH there was a righteous man called Shu’ayb ibn Harb, who used to fast and spend his nights in prayer. He wanted to marry a woman, and told her humbly, “I am a bad-tempered man.” She replied, tactfully and cleverly, “The one who makes you lose your temper is worse than you.” He realized that there stood before him a woman who was intelligent, wise and mature. He immediately said to her, “You will be my wife.”

This woman had a clear understanding of how to be a good wife, which confirmed to the man who had come to seek her hand that she was a woman who would understand the psychology and nature of her husband and would know what would please him and what would make him angry; she would be able to win his heart and earn his admiration and respect, and would close the door to every possible source of conflict that could disrupt their married life. The woman who does not understand these realities does not deserve to be a successful wife; through her ignorance and shortcomings she may provoke her husband to lose his temper, in which case, she would be worse than him, for being the direct cause of his anger.

The tactful Muslim woman is never like this. She helps her husband to be of good character, by displaying different types of intelligence, cleverness and alertness in the way she deals with him. This opens his heart to her and makes him fond of her, because being a good wife is a not only a quality that she may boast about among her friends, but it is also a religious obligation for which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will call her to account: if she has done well, she will be rewarded, but if she has fallen short she will have to pay the penalty.

One of the most important ways in which the Muslim woman obeys her husband is by respecting his wishes with regard to the permissible pleasures of daily life, such as social visits, food, dress, speech, etc. The more she responds to his wishes in such matters, the happier and more enjoyable the couple’s life becomes, and the closer it is to the spirit and teachings of Islam.

The Muslim woman does not forget that her obedience to her husband is one of the things that may lead her to Paradise, as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.’” 14

Umm Salamah (radhiallahu anha) said:

“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’” 15

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) draw a clear and delightful picture of the well-behaved, easy-going, loving, righteous Muslim wife, one who will be happy in this world and the next:

“Shall I not tell you about your wives in Paradise?” We said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “They are fertile and loving. If she becomes angry or is mistreated, or her husband becomes angry, she says, ‘My hand is in your hand; I shall never sleep until you are pleased with me.’” 16

The true Muslim woman knows that Islam, which has multiplied her reward for obeying her husband and made it a means of her admittance to Paradise, has also warned every woman who deviates from the path of marital obedience and neglects to take care of her husband, that she will be guilty of sin, and will incur the wrath and curses of the angels.

Bukhari and Muslim report from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“If a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning.”17

Muslim reports from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said Imam:

“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed, and she refuses him, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until the husband is pleased with her once more.”18

The angels’ curse will befall every woman who is rebellious and disobedient; this does not exclude those who are too slow and reluctant to respond to their husbands:

“Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will curse those procrastinating women who, when their husbands call them to their beds, say ‘I will, I will . . .’ until he falls asleep.” 19

Marriage in Islam is intended to protect the chastity of men and women alike, therefore it is the woman’s duty to respond to her husband’s requests for conjugal relations. She should not give silly excuses and try to avoid it. For this reason, several hadith urge a wife to respond to her husband’s needs as much as she is able, no matter how busy she may be or whatever obstacles there may be, so long as there is no urgent or unavoidable reason not to do so.  In one of these hadith, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“If a man calls his wife to his bed, let her respond, even if she is riding her camel [i.e., very busy].”20

And:

“If a man calls his wife, then let her come, even if she is busy at the oven.”21

The issue of protecting a man’s chastity and keeping him away from temptation is more important than anything else that a woman can do, because Islam wants men and women alike to live in an environment which is entirely pure and free from any motive of fitnah or haram pleasures. The flames of sexual desire and thoughts of pursuing them through haram means can only be extinguished by means of discharging that natural energy in natural and lawful ways. This is what the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) meant in the hadith narrated by Muslim from Jabir:

“If anyone of you is attracted to a woman, let him go to his wife and have intercourse with her, for that will calm him down.”22

The warning given to the woman whose husband is angry with her reaches such an extent that it would shake the conscience of every righteous wife who has faith in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and the Last Day: she is told that her prayer and good deeds will not be accepted, until her husband is pleased with her again. This is stated in the hadith narrated by Jabir from ‘Abdullah:

“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works: a disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; a woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again; and the drunkard, until he becomes sober.’” 23

When these hadith refer to the husband being angry with his wife, they refer to cases in which the husband is right and the wife is wrong. When the opposite is the case, and the husband is wrong, then his anger has no negative implications for her; in fact, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will reward the wife for her patience. But the wife is still required to obey her husband, so long as no sin is involved, because there should be no obedience to a created being if it entails disobedience to the Creator. Concerning this, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) to allow anyone into her husband’s house whom he dislikes; or to go out when he does not want her to; or to obey anyone else against him; or to forsake his bed; or to hit him. If he is wrong, then let her come to him until he is pleased with her, and if he accepts her then all is well, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will accept her deeds and make her position stronger, and there will be no sin on her. If he does not accept her, then at least she will have done her best and excused herself in the sight of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala). “24

Another aspect of wifely obedience is that she should not fast at times other than Ramadan except with his permission, that she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission, and that she should not spend any of his earnings without his permission. If she spends anything without him having told her to do so, then half of the reward for that spending will be given to him. The true Muslim woman takes heed of this teaching which was stated by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in the hadith:

“It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present, except with his permission; or to allow anyone into his house except with his permission; or to spend any of his earnings unless he has told her to do so, otherwise half of the reward will be given to him.”25

According to a report given by Muslim, he (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“A woman should not fast if her husband is present, except with his permission. She should not allow anyone to enter his house when he is present without his permission. Whatever she spends of his wealth without him having told her to do so, half of the reward for it will be given to him.”26

The point here is the permission of the husband. If a wife gives some of his money in voluntary charity without his permission, then she will not receive any reward; on the contrary, it will be recorded as a sin on her part. If she wants to spend in his absence, and she knows that if he knew about it he would give his permission, then she is allowed to do so, otherwise it is not permitted.

Mutual understanding and harmony between husband and wife cannot be achieved unless there is understanding between them on such matters, so that neither of them will fall into such errors and troubles as may damage the marriage which Islam has built on a basis of love and mercy, and sought to maintain its purity, care and harmony.

If the husband is a miser, and spends too little on her and her children, then she is allowed to spend as much as she needs from his wealth on herself and her children, in moderation, without his knowledge. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) stated this to Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyan, when she came to him and said, “O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man. What he gives me is not enough for me and my child, unless I take from him without his knowledge.” He told her, “Take what is enough for you and your child, in moderation.”27 Thus Islam has made women responsible for good conduct in their running of the household affairs.

The Muslim woman understands the responsibility that Islam has given her, to take care of her husband’s house and children by making her a “shepherd” over her husband’s house and children. She has been specifically reminded of this responsibility in recognition of her role, in the hadith in which the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) made every individual in the Islamic society responsible for those under his or her authority in such a way that no-one, man or woman, may evade responsibility:

“Each of you is a shepherd, and each is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care.”28

The true Muslim woman is always described as being loving towards her children and caring towards her husband. These are two of the most beautiful characteristics that a woman of any time or place may possess. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) praised these two characteristics, which were embodied by the women of Quraysh, who represented the best women among the Arabs in terms of loving their children, caring for their husbands, respecting their rights and looking after their wealth with care, honesty and wisdom:

“The best women who ride camels are the women of Quraysh. They are the most compassionate towards their children when they are small, and the most careful with regard to their husbands’ wealth.”29

This is a valuable testimony on the part of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), attesting to the psychological and moral qualities of the women of Quraysh which enhanced their beauty and virtue. This testimony represents a call to every Muslim woman to emulate the women of Quraysh in loving her children and taking care of her husband. These two important characteristics contribute to the success of a marriage, make individuals and families happy, and help a society to advance.

It is a great honor for a woman to take care of her husband every morning and evening, and wherever he goes, treating him with gentleness and good manners which will fill his life with joy, tranquility and stability. Muslim women have the best example in ‘A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), who used to accompany the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) on Hajj, surrounding him with her care, putting perfume on him with her own hands before he enteredihram, and after he finished his ihram, before he performed tawaf al-ifadah.30 She chose for him the best perfume that she could find. This is stated in a number of sahih hadith reported by Bukhari and Muslim, for example:

“I applied perfume to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) with myown hands before he entered the state of ihram and when he concluded it before circumambulating the House.”31

“I applied perfume to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) with these two hands of mine when he entered ihram and when he concluded it, before he performed tawaf,” – and she spread her hands.32

‘Urwah said:

“I asked ‘A’ishah, ‘With what did you perfume  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) at the time when he entered ihram?’ She said, ‘With the best of perfume.’” 33

According to another report also given by Muslim, ‘A’ishah  (radhiallahu anha) said:

“I applied the best perfume I could find to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) before he entered ihram and when he concluded it, before he performed tawaf al-ifadah.”34

When the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was in seclusion (i’tikaf), he would lean his head towards ‘A’ishah, and she would comb and wash his hair. Bukhari and Muslim both report this in sahih hadith narrated from ‘A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), such as:

“When  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was in i’tikaf, he inclined his head towards me and I combed his hair, and he did not enter the house except to answer the call of nature.”35

“I used to wash the Prophet’s head when I was menstruating.”36

‘Aishah urged women to take good care of their husbands and to recognize the rights that their husbands had over them. She saw these rights as being so great and so important that a woman was barely qualified to wipe the dust from her husband’s feet with her face, as she stated: “O womenfolk, if you knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one of you would wipe the dust from her husband’s feet with her face.”37

This is a vivid expression of the importance of the husband’s rights over his wife. ‘A’ishah wanted to bring this to women’s attention, so as to remove from the hearts of arrogant and stubborn women all those harsh, obstinate feelings that all too often destroy a marriage and turn it into a living hell.

Honoring and respecting one’s husband is one of the characteristic attitudes of this ummah. It is one of the good manners known at the time of jahiliyyah that were endorsed by Islam and perpetuated by the Arabs after they embraced Islam. Our Arab heritage is filled with texts that eloquently describe the advice given by mothers to their daughters, to care for, honor  and respect their husbands; these texts may be regarded as invaluable social documents.

One of the most famous and most beautiful of these texts was recorded by ‘Abd al-Malik ibn ‘Umayr al-Qurashi, who was one of the outstanding scholars of the second century AH. He quotes the words of advice given by Umamah bint al-Harith, one of the most eloquent and learned women, who was possessed of wisdom and great maturity, to her daughter on the eve of her marriage. These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink.

‘Abd al-Malik said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) choose what is best for you and protect you.’” 38

She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled after him.

This advice clearly included everything that one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every young girl who is about to get married.

If she is rich, the true Muslim woman does not let her wealth and financial independence make her blind to the importance of respecting her husband’s rights over her. She still takes care of him and honors him, no matter how rich she is or may become. She knows that she is obliged to show gratitude to Allah for the blessings He has bestowed upon her, so she increases her charitable giving for the sake of Allah. The first person to whom she should give generously is her own husband, if he is poor; in this case she will receive two rewards, one for taking care of a family member, and another for giving charity, as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) stated in the hadith narrated by Zaynab al-Thaqafiyyah, the wife of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (radhiallahu anhu):

“The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us: ‘O women, give in charity even if it is some of your jewelry.’ She said, ‘I went back to ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud and told him. ‘You are a man of little wealth, and the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has commanded us to give charity, so go and ask him whether it is permissible for me to give you charity. If it is, I will do so; if it is not, I will give charity to someone else.’ ‘Abdullah said, ‘No, you go and ask.’ So I went, and I found a woman of the Ansar at the Prophet’s door, who also had the question. We felt too shy to go in, out of respect, so Bilal came out and we asked him, ‘Go and tell Allah’s Messenger that there are two women at the door asking you: Is it permissible for them to give sadaqah to their husbands and the orphans in their care? But do not tell him who we are.’ So Bilal went in and conveyed this message to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who asked, ‘Who are they?’ Bilal said, ‘One of the women of the Ansar, and Zaynab (radhiallahu anha)’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, ‘Which Zaynab is it?’ Bilal said, ‘The wife of ‘Abdullah.’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘They will have two rewards, the reward for upholdithe relationship, and the reward for giving charity.’” 39 According to a report given by Bukhari, he said, “Your husband and your child are more deserving of your charity.”40

The true Muslim woman is always careful to give thanks for Allah’s blessings if her life is easy, and she never loses her patience if she encounters difficulty. She never forgets the warning that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) issued to women in general, when he saw that most of the inhabitants of Hell will be women, and so she seeks refuge with Allah from becoming one of them.

Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas (radhiallahu anhu) that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “O women, give charity, for I have surely seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.” They asked, ‘Why is this so, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because you curse too much, and are ungrateful for good treatment (on the part of your husbands).”41

According to another report given by Bukhari, he said, “because they are ungrateful for good and kind treatment. Even if you treated one of them (these ungrateful women) well for an entire lifetime, then she saw one fault in you, she would say, ‘I have never seen anything good from you!’” 42

According to a report given by Ahmad, a man said, “O Messenger of Allah, are they not our mothers and sisters and wives?” He said, “Of course, but when they are treated generously they are ungrateful, and when they are tested, they do not have patience.”43

When the true Muslim woman thinks about these sahih hadith which describe the fate of most women in the Hereafter, she is always on the alert lest she fall into the sins of ingratitude towards her husband, or frequent cursing, or denying her husband’s good treatment of her, or forgetting to give thanks for times of ease, or failing to be patient at times of difficulty. In any case, she hastens to give charity as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) urged all women to do, in the hope that it may save them from that awful fate which will befall most of those women who deviate from truth and let trivial matters distract them from remembering Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and the Last Day, and whose bad qualities will ultimately lead them into the Fire of Hell. The Muslim woman, on the other hand, sets the highest example of respect towards one’s husband and taking note of his good qualities. This is the attitude of loyalty that befits the true Muslim woman who respects her husband’s rights and does not ignore his virtues.

Muslim women’s history is full of stories which reflect this loyalty and recognition of the good qualities of the husband. One of these stories is that of Asma’ bint ‘Umays, who was one of the greatest women in Islam, and one of the first women to migrate to Madinah. She was married to Ja’far ibn Abi Talib, then to Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, then to ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with them all. On one occasion, her two sons Muhammad ibn Ja’far and Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr were competing with one another, each of them saying. “I am better than you, and my father is better than your father.” ‘Ali said to her, “Judge between them, O Asma’.” She said, “I have never seen a young man among the Arabs who was better than Ja’far, and I have never seen a mature man who was better than Abu Bakr.” ‘Ali said, “You have not left anything for me. If you had said anything other than what you have said, I would have hated you!” Asma’ said: “These are the best three, and you are one of them even if you are the least of them.”44

What a clever and eloquent answer this wise woman gave! She gave each of her three husbands the respect he deserved, and pleased ‘Ali, even though he was the least of them, because she included all of them in that group of the best.

She treats his mother and family with kindness and respect

One of the ways in which a wife expresses her respect towards her husband is by honoring and respecting his mother.

The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of her religion knows that the person who has the greatest right over a man is his mother, as we have seen in the hadith of ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) quoted above. So she helps him to honor and respect his mother, by also honoring and respecting her. In this way she will do herself and her husband a favor, as she will helping him to do good deeds and fear Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) as commanded by the Qur’an. At the same time, she will endear herself to her husband, who will appreciate her honor and respect towards his family in general, and towards his mother in particular. Nothing could please a decent, righteous and respectful man more than seeing strong ties of love and respect between his wife and his family, and nothing could be more hateful to a decent man than to see those ties destroyed by the forces of evil, hatred and conspiracy. The Muslim family which is guided by faith in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and follows the pure teachings of Islam is unlikely to fall into the trap of such jahili behavior, which usually flourishes in an environment that is far removed from the true teachings of this religion.

A Muslim wife may find herself being tested by her mother-in-law and other in-laws, if they are not of good character. If such is the case, she is obliged to treat them in the best way possible, which requires a great deal of cleverness, courtesy, diplomacy and repelling evil with that which is better. Thus she will maintain a balance between her relationship with her in-laws and her relationship with her husband, and she will protect herself and her marriage from any adverse effects that may result from the lack of such a balance.

The Muslim woman should never think that she is the only one who is required to be a good and caring companion to her spouse, and that nothing similar is required of her husband or that there is nothing wrong with him mistreating her or failing to fulfill some of the responsibilities of marriage. Islam has regulated the marital relationship by giving each partner both rights and duties. The wife’s duties of honor ing and taking care of her husband are balanced by the rights that she has over him, which are that he should protect her honor  and dignity from all kinds of mockery, humiliation, trials or oppression. These rights of the wife comprise the husband’s duties towards her: he is obliged to honor  them and fulfill them as completely as possible.

One of the Muslim husband’s duties is to fulfill his role of qawwam (maintainer and protector) properly. This is a role that can only be properly fulfilled by a man who is a successful leader in his home and family, one who possesses likeable masculine qualities. Such a man has a noble and worthy attitude, is tolerant, overlooks minor errors, is in control of his married life, and is generous without being extravagant. He respects his wife’s feelings and makes her feel that she shares the responsibility of running the household affairs, bringing up the children, and working with him to build a sound Muslim family, as Islam wants it to be.

She endears herself to her husband and is keen to please him

The true Muslim woman is always keen to win her husband’s love and to please him. Nothing should spoil his happiness or enjoyment of life. So she speaks kind words to him, and refrains from saying anything hurtful or upsetting. She brings him good news, but she keeps bad news from him as much as she can, or postpones telling it until a more suitable time when it will not upset him so much. If she finds that she has no alternative but to tell him upsetting news, she looks for the most suitable way to convey it, so that the blow will not be so hard on him. This is the wise approach and good conduct of the clever woman, but it is very difficult to attain and only a very few virtuous women ever do so.

One of those who did reach this high level was the great Muslim woman Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, the wife of Abu Talhah al-Ansari. Her son passed away whilst Abu Talhah was  traveling, and her attitude was so unique that if Imam Muslim had not reported this story we would have taken it to be a mere myth. Let us hear her son Anas ibn Malik tell the story of his remarkable mother and her unattitude:

“A son of Abu Talhah by Umm Sulaym died. Umm Sulaym told her family, ‘Do not tell Abu Talhah about his son until I tell him about it.’ Abu Talhah came home, so she prepared dinner for him, and he ate and drank. Then she beautified herself in a way that she had never done before, and he had sexual intercourse with her. When she saw that he was satisfied, she said, ‘O Abu Talhah, do you think that if a people lent something to a household, then asked for it back, do they have the right not to return it?’ He said, ‘No.’ She said, ‘Then resign yourself to the death of your son.’ Abu Talhah became angry and said, ‘You let me indulge myself and then you tell me about my son!’ He went to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and told him what had happened.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘May Allah bless both of you for this night!’ Umm Sulaym became pregnant.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went on a journey, and she accompanied him. Whenever  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came back from a journey, he never entered Madinah at night. When they (the  traveling-party) approached Madinah, her labour-pains started. Abu Talhah stayed with her, and  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went on ahead to Madinah. Abu Talhah said, ‘O Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) , You know how I love to go out with Your Messenger when he goes out, and to come back with him when he comes back, and I have been detained, as You see.’ Umm Sulaym said, ‘O Abu Talhah, I do not feel as much pain as I did before, so let us go on.’ When they reached (Madinah), her labour-pains started again, and she gave birth to a boy. My mother said to me, ‘O Anas, nobody should feed him until you take him to Allah’s Messenger  in the morning.’ So when morning came, I took the baby to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and when I met him he was carrying an iron tool. When he saw me, he said, ‘I hope that Umm Sulaym has given birth.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ So he put down the tool and I brought the child to him and placed him in his lap.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) called for some of the dates of Madinah. He chewed it until it became soft, then he put it in the baby’s mouth and the baby began to smack his lips.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘See how much the Ansar love dates!’ Then he wiped the baby’s face and named him ‘Abdullah.”45

How great was Umm Sulaym’s faith, and how magnificent her patience and virtue! How bravely she hid her pain from her husband and endeared herself to him. She managed to conceal her grief at the loss of her beloved son and spent that time with her husband patiently hoping that by being a good wife to her husband she might earn the pleasure of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).  This is true, deep and sincere faith.

Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) answered the Prophet’s prayer for Umm Sulaym and her husband, and she became pregnant from that night. When she was heavily pregnant, she saw her husband Abu Talhah preparing to set out on another military campaign with Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). She insisted on partaking of the honor  of jihad with him alongside Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), even though she was in the later stages of pregnancy. Her husband took pity on her because of the difficulties of the journey and the heat of the desert, but he still asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for permission to let her come with him, and he gave his permission because he knew her strength of character and love of jihad.

Umm Sulaym was present when the Muslims were triumphant at Makkah, and when they were sorely tested at Hunayn. She stood firm, as solid as a rock, alongside her husband and the small group of believers around the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), even though she was pregnant, at that most difficult time when many others had fled, and she remained there until Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) brought victory to the believers.

The mujahid army returned to Madinah, and her labour began. When the pains became intense, she and her husband stayed behind for a while, but her husband prayed to his Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  in the still of night becasue he loved to go out and return with the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Suddenly the pains ceased; she told her husband and they set out to follow the army that had gone on ahead. They caught up with them, and after they had entered Madinah, Umm Sulaym’s labour pains began anew. She gave birth to a boy, and his brother on his mother’s side, Anas, brought him to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who fed him a small amount of dates (tahnik) and named him ‘Abdullah. The prayer of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for this baby was fulfilled, as among his descendents were ten great scholars.

No doubt Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) knew the sincerity of Umm Sulaym’s faith, and conveyed the good news of Paradise to her via His Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):

“I entered Paradise, and heard footsteps. I said, ‘Who is this?’ and they told me, ‘It is al-Ghumaysa’, the daughter of Milhan, the mother of Anas ibn Malik.’” 46

Another example of the ways in which a wife may endear herself to her husband is the way in which ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) spoke to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he came back to his wives after he had kept away from them for a month. He had said, “I will not go in to them for a month,” because he was so angry with them. When twenty-nine days had passed, he came to ‘A’ishah first. ‘A’ishah said to him, ‘You swore to stay away from us for a month, and only twenty-nine days have passed; I have been counting them.” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “This month has twenty-nine days.” That particular month had only twenty-nine days.47

‘A’ishah’s telling the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that she had counted twenty-nine days was a clear indication of her love towards her husband and of how she had waited, day by day, hour by hour, for him to come back to her. It shows how she loved and missed her husband. This approach made her even dearer to him, so when he came back to his wives, he started with her.

The sincere Muslim woman recognizes her husband’s likes and habits, and tries to accommodate them as much as she can, in the interests of mutual understanding and marital harmony, and to protect the marriage from the boredom of routine. This is what every wise and intelligent wife does. It was narrated that the qadi and faqih Shurayh married a woman from Banu Hanzalah. On their wedding night, each of them prayed two rak’ahs and asked Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) to bless them. Then the bride turned to Shurayh and said, “I am a stranger, and I do not not know much about you. Tell me what you like, and I will do it, and tell me what you do not like so I may avoid it.” Shurayh said, “She stayed with me for twenty years, and I never had to tell her off for anything, except on one occasion, and I was in the wrong then.”

This is the respectful and loving wife as Islam wants her to be, responsible for her home and loyal to her husband, and always careful to maintain a good relationship between them. If anything happens to upset their marriage, she hastens to calm the situation with her sincere love and wise understanding. She does not listen to the whispering of the Shaytan which calls her to do wrong, and she never hastens to ask her husband for a divorce. The marriage bond should be too strong to be undone by temporary arguments or occasional misunderstandings. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) warned those foolish women who ask their husbands for a divorce with no legitimate reason that they would be denied even the scent of Paradise:

“Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce with no good reason will be deprived of even smelling the scent of Paradise.”48

She does not disclose his secrets

The chaste Muslim woman does not disclose her husband’s secrets, and does not talk to anyone about whatever secrets and other matters there may be between him and her. The serious Muslim woman is above that; she would never sink to the level of such cheap and shameless talk as goes on amongst the lowest type of people. Her time is too precious to be wasted in such vulgar behavior. She would never accept for herself to be counted as one of those people whom the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) described as one of the worst types:

“Among the worst type of people in the sight of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) on the Day of Judgment is a man who enjoys his wife’s intimate company, and she enjoys his intimate company, then one of them goes and discloses the secret of the other.”49

Talking about that which is private between a husband and wife is one of the most abhorrent ways of disclosing secrets. No-one does such a thing but the worst type of people. There are some secrets the disclosure of which is not as bad as disclosing this secret, but in any case, telling secrets at all is disliked and is unacceptable. Keeping secrets in itself is a worthy and virtuous deed, whilst disclosing them is a serious error and shortcoming, from which nobody can be immune except the infallible Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The disclosure of a secret that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had entrusted to Hafsah, who told it to ‘A’ishah, led to the plotting and intrigue in his household that caused him to keep away from his wives for a whole month, because he was so upset with them.50 Concerning this, the following ayah was revealed:

( When the Prophet disclosed a matter of confidence to one of his consorts, and she then divulged it [to another], and Allah made it known to him, he confirmed part thereof and repudiated a part. Then when he told her thereof, she said, ‘Who told you this?’ He said, ‘He told me Who knows and is well-acquainted [with all things].) (Qur’an 66:3)

The two women concerned are then confronted with their error, and called to repent, so that they might draw closer to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) after having distanced themselves by their deed, otherwise Allah would be his (the Prophet’s) Protector, and Jibril and the righteous believers would also support him:

( If you two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined; but if you back up each other against him, truly Allah is his Protector, and Gabriel, and [every] righteous one among those who believe – and furthermore, the angels – will back [him] up.) (Qur’an 66:4)

Then they are issued with a stern warning and the terrifying prospect that if they persist in their error, they may lose the honor  of being the wives of the Prophet:

( It may be, if he divorced you [all], that Allah will give him in exchange Consorts better than you – who submit [their wills], who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship [in humility], who travel [for Faith] and fast – previously married or virgins.) (Qur’an 66:5)

This incident presents a valuable lesson to the Muslim woman on the importance of keeping her husband’s secret, and the effect this confidentiality has on the stability of the individual and the home. One of the greatest blessings that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has bestowed on the Muslims in particular, and on mankind in general, is that he has made the public and private life of His Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) like an open book, in which can be read the teachings of this ‘aqidah and its practical application in real life. Nothing is secret or hidden: matters and events that people usually keep secret are discussed openly in the Qur’an and Sunnah, even unavoidable human weaknesses. All of these issues are presented in order to teach people right from wrong.

The Sahabah, may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) be pleased with them, understood that the Prophet’s life was entirely devoted to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His message, so why should they keep secret or conceal any aspect of his life? The stories that have been narrated about his life, his household and his wives represent a practical application of the words he preached, and for this reason, the Sahabah (may Allah reward them with all good) transmitted the most precise details of his life, and did not fail to record any aspect of his daily life, whether it was major or minor. This is part of the way in which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) caused the life of his Prophet to be recorded, including details of the precise way in which Islamic teachings were applied in his life. This is in addition to the Qur’anic references to the Prophet’s life, which form a record that will remain until heaven and earth pass away.

She stands by him and offers her advice

One of the laws that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has decreed for this life is that men and women should work together to cultivate and populate the earth and run the affairs of life therein. Man cannot do without woman, and vice versa. Hence the laws of Islam teach men and women to co-operate in all matters. Islam encourages a man to help his wife, as much as he is able; the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who is the example for all Muslims, used to help and serve his family until he went out to pray, as the Mother of the Believers ‘A’ishah said.51

Just as Islam expects a man to help his wife with housework and running household affairs, so the woman is also expected to help him in dealing with the outside world and to play her role in life by offering her opinions and advice, and supporting him in practical terms.

History tells us that Muslim women engaged in jihad side by side with men, marching to war with them, bringing water to the thirsty, tending the wounded, setting broken bones, stemming the flow of blood, encouraging the soldiers, and sometimes joining in the actual fighting, running back and forth between the swords and spears, standing firm when some of the brave men had fled. Their courageous conduct in battle was praised by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), as we have described previously (see pp. 69-91).

However, women’s contribution to public life did not stop on the battlefield; women also stood side-by-side with men at times of peace, offering their valuable opinions, soothing their hearts at times of stress and supporting them during times of hardship.

History has recorded many names of great Muslim men who used to seek and follow the advice of their wives, foremost among whom is the Prophet himself (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who sometimes followed the advice of Khadijah, Umm Salamah, ‘A’ishah and others among his wives. ‘Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr used to follow the advice of his mother Asma’, al-Walid ibn ‘Abd al-Malik used to follow the advice of his wife Umm al-Banin bint ‘Abd al-’Aziz ibn Marwan, and Harun al-Rashid used to follow the advice of his wife Zubaydah, and there are many other such examples in the history of Islam.

The true, sincere Muslim woman understands the heavy burden that Islam has placed on her shoulders, by obliging her to be a good wife to her husband, to surround him with care and meet his every need, to give him enjoyment, and to renew his energy so that he may fulfill his mission in life. So she does not withhold her advice when she sees that he needs it, and she never hesitates to stand by his side, encouraging him, supporting him and offering advice and consolation.

The first Muslim woman, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid is the best example of a woman who influenced her husband. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came to her on the day of the first Revelation, anxious, trembling and shaking all over. He told her, “Cover me, cover me!” She hastened to offer her help and support, advising him and thinking of a practical way of helping him. Bukhari and Muslim report the story told by ‘A’ishah of how the Revelation commenced, and the marvellous way in which Khadijah responded by supporting her husband:

“The Revelation started in the form of a dream that came true, he never saw a dream but it would clearly come to pass. Then he was made to like seclusion, so he would go and stay alone in the cave of Hira’, praying and worshipping for many nights at a time, before coming back to his family to collect supplies for another period of seclusion. Then the truth came suddenly, when he was in the cave of Hira’. The angel came to him and said ‘Read!’ He said, ‘I am not a reader.’ [The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:] ‘The angel embraced me and squeezed me until I nearly passed out, then released me, and said, ‘Read!’ I said, ‘I am not a reader.’ The angels embraced me a second time, squeezed me until I nearly passed out, then released me and said, ‘Read!’ I said, ‘I am not a reader.’ The angel embraced me a third time and squeezed me until I nearly passed out, then released me and said:

( Read! In the name of your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  and Cherisher, who created – created man, out of a [mere] clot of congealed blood: Read! And your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  is Most Bountiful – He taught [the use of] the Pen – taught man that which he knew not.) (Qur’an 96:1-5)’”

 Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came back to Khadijah, trembling all over, and said, “Cover me, cover me!”. They covered him up until he calmed down, then he said to Khadijah, “O Khadijah, what is wrong with me?” He told her what had happened, then said, “I fear for myself.” Khadijah said: “No, rather be of good cheer, for by Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would never forsake you. By Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala) you uphold the ties of kinship, speak the truth, spend money on the needy, give money to the penniless, honor  your guests and help those beset by difficulties. She took him to Waraqah ibn Nawfal ibn Asad ibn ‘Abd al-’Uzza, who was her cousin, the son of her father’s brother. He was a man who had become a Christian during the time of jahiliyyah; he could write the Arabic script and he had written as much of the Gospel in Arabic as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) willed. He was an old man who had become blind. Khadijah said to him, “O Uncle, listen to your nephew.” Waraqah ibn Nawfal said, “O son of my brother, what has happened?” Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told him what had happened, and Waraqah said to him, “This is al-Namus (i.e., Jibril), who was sent down to Musa, upon whom be peace. I wish that I were a young man, and could be alive when your people cast you out.”  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, “Will they really cast me out?” Waraqah said, “Yes. No man has ever come with what you have brought, but his people were hostile towards him. If I live to see that day I will give you all the support I can.”52

This report is strong evidence of Khadijah’s wifely perfection, wisdom, strength of character, steadfastness, understanding and deep insight. She knew the Prophet’s outstanding character, good conduct and purity of heart, and this made her certain that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would never forsake a man such as Muhammad(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) or permit any bad fate to befall him. She knew that behind this remarkable new event that had overwhelmed  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) lay something great that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) had prepared for His Messenger, so she spoke her kind and sweet words of encouragement, filling him with confidence, tranquility and firm conviction: “Be of good cheer, O cousin, and stand firm. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Khadijah, I hope that you will be the Prophet of this nation.”53 Then she took him to her cousin Waraqah ibn Nawfal, who had knowledge of the Torah and Gospel, and told him what had happened to the Prophet.

The first Mother of the Believers, Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her), was a sincere adviser in the way of Islam to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). She had already earned the great status and lasting fame of being the first person to believe in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His Messenger, and she stood beside her husband the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), supporting him and helping him to bear the worst oppression and persecution that he faced at the beginning of his mission; she endured along with him every hardship and difficulty that he was confronted with.

Ibn Hisham says in his Sirah: “Khadijah had faith, and believed in what he brought from Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).  In this way, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) helped His Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Whenever he heard any hateful words of rejection or disbelief that upset him, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would cause his spirits to be lifted when he came back to her. She encouraged him to be patient, believed in him, and made it easier for him to bear whatever the people said or did. May Allah have mercy on her.”54

She was a woman who always spoke the truth, and carried this burden sincerely. It is no surprise that she earned the pleasure of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and deserved to be honor ed by Him, so He conveyed the greeting of salamto her through His Messengers Jibril and Muhammad(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and gave her glad tidings of a house in Paradise, as is stated in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah:

“Jibril came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is coming to you with vessels containing food and drink. When she comes to you, convey to her the greeting of salam from her Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  and from me, and give her the glad tidings of a house of pearls in Paradise, in which there is no noise or hard work.”55

The true Muslim woman puts her mind to good work, thinks hard and gives advice to her husband at times when he may be most in need of advice. By doing so, she does a great favor for her husband, and this is one of the ways in which she may treat him well.

Another of these great stories which feature correct advice given by a woman is the reaction of the Muslims to the treaty of al-Hudaybiyah, and Umm Salamah’s reaction, which demonstrated her deep insight and great wisdom.

Umm Salamah (radhiallahu anha) was one of those who were with the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he went to Makkah to perform ‘Umrah in 6 AH. This is the journey which was interrupted by Quraysh, who prevented the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and his Companions from reaching the Ka’bah. The treaty of al-Hudaybiyah was drawn up between the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Quraysh. This was a peace-treaty which was intended to put an end to the fighting for ten years; it was also agreed that if anyone from Quraysh came to Muhammad without the permission of his guardian, he would be returned, but if any of the Muslims came to Quraysh, he would not be returned, and that the Muslims would go back that year without entering Makkah, etc.

By virtue of his deep understanding that was derived from the guidance of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) understood that this treaty, which appeared to be quite unfair to the Muslims, was in fact something good and represented a great victory for Islam and the Muslims.

The Sahabah, however, were dismayed when they learned the content of the treaty. They saw it as unfair and unjust, especially as they had the upper hand at that time. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab expressed the angry feelings of theSahabah when he went to Abu Bakr and asked him: “Is he not Allah’s Messenger ?” Abu Bakr said, “Of course.” “Are we not Muslims?” “Yes.” “Are they not mushrikin?” “Yes.” “Why should we accept this deal which is so humiliating to our religion?” Abu Bakr warned him, “O ‘Umar, follow his orders. I bear witness that he is Allah’s Messenger .” Umar said, “And I bear witness that he is Allah’s Messenger .” Then ‘Umar went to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and asked him questions similar to those he had asked Abu Bakr. But when he asked, “Why should we accept this deal which is so humiliating to our religion?” the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied, “I am the servant of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His Messenger; I will never disobey His command, and He will never forsake me.”56

Then ‘Umar realized that his haste to oppose the treaty was a mistake. He used to say, “I kept giving charity, fasting, praying and freeing slaves because of what I had done and said on that day, until I hoped that ultimately it would be good for me (because it made me perform so many good deeds).”57

When the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had ratified the treaty, he commanded his Companions to get up, slaughter their sacrificial animals, and shave their heads, but none of them got up58. He told them three times to do this, but not one of them responded. He went to his wife Umm Salamah, and told her what he was facing from the people. At this point the wisdom and intelligence of Umm Salamah become quite clear: she told him, “O Messenger of Allah, go out and do not speak to any of them until you have sacrificed your animal and shaved your head.”

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) took her advice, and did as she suggested. When the Sahabah saw that, they rushed to sacrifice their animals, pushing one another aside, and some of them began to shave one another’s heads, until they were almost fighting with one another because of their distress and grief, and their regret for having disobeyed the Prophet.59

After that, the Muslims came back to their senses, and they understood the Prophet’s great wisdom in agreeing to this treaty, which in fact was a manifest victory, because many more people entered Islam after it than had before. In Sahih Muslim it states that the ayah,

( Verily We have granted you a manifest Victory) (Qur’an 48:1) referred to the treaty of al-Hudaybiyah. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) sent for ‘Umar and recited this ayah to him. ‘Umar said, “O Messenger of Allah, it is really a victory?” He said, “Yes,” so then ‘Umar felt at peace.60

She encourages her husband to spend for the sake of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala)

Another way in which the true Muslim woman supports her husband is by encouraging him to spend and give charity for the sake of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and not to waste money in extravagance and ostentatious purchases, as we see so many ignorant and misguided women doing.

The alert Muslim woman always wants goodness and success for her husband, so she urges him to do good deeds, and to do more of them, because she believes that by doing this, she will increase her honor  in this world and her reward in the next.

One of the beautiful stories narrated about a woman’s encouraging her husband to spend for the sake of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) is the story of Umm al-Dahdah. When her husband came to her and told her that he had given in charity the garden in which she and her children used to live, in hopes of receiving a bunch of dates61 in Paradise, she said, “You have got a good deal, you have got a good deal.” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) commented, “How many bunches of dates Abu’l-Dahdah will have in Paradise!” and he repeated this several times.62

She helps him to obey Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala)

One of the qualities of the good Muslim wife is that she helps her husband to obey Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) in different ways, especially to stay up and pray at night (qiyam al-layl). By doing this, she does him an immense favor, because she reminds him to do something he might otherwise forget or neglect. Thus she causes him, and herself, to be covered by the mercy of Allah.

What a beautiful picture the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) drew of the married couple helping one another to obey Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and do good deeds, and entering into the mercy of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) together. This comes in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah (radhiallahu anhu), who said:

“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘May Allah have mercy on the man who gets up at night to pray and wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face. And may Allah have mercy on the woman who gets up at night to pray, and wakes her husband up to pray, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face.”63

She fills his heart with joy

The clever and sensitive Muslim woman does not forget that one of the greatest deeds she can do in life, after worshipping Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) is to be successful in endearing herself to her husband and filling his heart with joy, so that he will feel in the depths of his heart that he is happy to be married to her, and enjoys living with her and being in her company. So she uses her intelligence to find ways and means of opening his heart and filling it with joy and happiness, so that she may become the queen of his heart.

She understands that she is the greatest joy of a man in this world, as is stated in the hadith narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-’As (radhiallahu anhu), in which the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman.”64

She does not forget that she is the greatest joy in this life for a man, if she knows how to endear herself to him. If she does not know how to endear herself to him then in most cases she will be a source of unhappiness and misery to her husband, as was confirmed by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):

“Three things make the son of Adam happy, and three make him miserable. Among the things that make the son of Adam happy are a good wife, a good home and a good means of transport; the things that make him miserable are a bad wife, a bad home and a bad means of transport.”65

Hence being a good wife, and endearing oneself to one’s husband, are a part of religion, because this offers protection to a man by helping him to remain chaste, and strengthens the foundations of the family, thus bringing happiness to her husband and children.

The Muslim woman by nature likes to endear herself to her husband; in doing so she finds a way of fulfilling her femininity and her inclinations to make herself attractive. But for the Muslim woman, the matter goes even further: in seeking to win her husband’s heart, she is also seeking to earn the pleasure of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) Who has made being a good wife a part of religion, about which she will be questioned in the Hereafter. So she does not spare any effort in her loving treatment of her husband: she presents a pleasing appearance, speaks pleasantly and kindly, and is a clever and likeable companion.

She makes herself beautiful for him

She makes herself beautiful for her husband by means of make-up, clothing, etc., so that she will appear more beautiful and attractive, and thus make her husband happy. This was the practice of the righteous women of the salaf, who used to devote their time to worshipping Allah and reading Qur’an. Foremost among them were ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) and others; they used to wear fine clothes and jewelry at home and when they were  traveling, in order to make themselves look beautiful for their husbands.

Bakrah bint ‘Uqbah came to ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) and asked her about henna. ‘A’ishah said, “It comes from a good tree and pure water.” She asked her about removing body hair, and she said, “If you have a husband, and you could remove your eyes and replace them with something better, then do it.”66

Let those careless women who neglect their appearance in front of their husbands listen to the advice of ‘A’ishah, and realize that their beauty should be primarily for their husbands, not for their friends and peers. Those women who are failing to make themselves beautiful for their husbands are sinners, because they are falling short in one of the greatest duties of marriage. Their negligence may be the cause of their husbands staying away from them and looking at other women.

The wife whose husband only ever sees her with unkempt hair, looking pale and wan and wearing shabby old clothes, is a foolish and disobedient wife. It will be of no help to her if she rushes to beautify herself only when receiving guests, or going to a women’s party, but remains looking shabby most of the time in front of her husband. I think that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by the teachings of Islam will be safe from such shortcomings, because she treats her husband properly, and a woman who treats her husband properly is most unlikely to fail in fulfilling her duty towards him.

It is one of the teachings of Islam that a woman should make herself look beautiful for her husband, so that her husband should only ever see of her that which he likes. So it is forbidden for a woman to dress in mourning for more than three days, except in the case of her husband’s death, when she is permitted to mourn for four months and ten days. We find proof of this in the hadith narrated by Bukhari from Zaynab the daughter of Umm Salamah, who said, “I came to Zaynab bint Jahsh, the wife of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when her brother died. She called for perfume and applied it to herself, then said, “I am not wearing perfume because I need to, but because I heard Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say from the minbar:

“It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and the Last Day to grieve for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she may grieve) four months and ten days.”67

She is cheerful and grateful when she meets him

One of the ways in which the Muslim woman makes herself attractive to her husband is by being happy, cheerful, friendly and gentle, thus flooding her husband’s life with joy. When he comes home exhausted from his work, she greets him with a smiling face and kind words. She puts her own concerns to one side for a while, and helps him to forget some of his worries. She appears as cheerful and serene as she can, and expresses her gratitude to him every time he does something good for her.

The true Muslim woman is fair-minded, and is never ungrateful to any person, because the teachings of her religion protect her from falling into the error of bad behavior and ingratitude for favors. How then could she be ungrateful to her husband, her beloved lifelong companion? She knows well the teaching of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):

“He does not thank Allah who does not thank people.”68

She understands from this that every person who does good deeds and favors deserves thanks and recognition, so how could she hesitate or fail to show gratitude to her husband, especially when she hears the words of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):

“Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will not look at the woman who does not thank her husband at the time when she cannot do without him.”69

She shares his joys and sorrows

Another of the ways in which a woman may endear herself to her husband is by sharing his joys and sorrows. So she joins him in some of his pastimes, and his daily work, such as reading, exercise, and attending useful talks and gatherings, and so on, so that her husband will feel that he is not alone in his enjoyment of the good things in life, but that he is sharing these pleasures with a loving, intelligent and loyal wife.

The fact that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) raced with ‘A’ishah more than once indicates the fact that Islam urges both spouses to share their partner’s joy and happiness in life, because this sharing will have a powerful effect in deepening their feelings for one another and strengthening the bonds between them.

Just as she shares his joys, so she also shares his worries and concerns, and comes to him with kind words of consolation, mature and sensible advice and sincere emotional support.

She does not look at other men

The true Muslim woman avoids looking at men other than her husband; she does not stare at men who are not related to her (i.e. who are not her mahrams), in obedience to the command of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala) :

( And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze . . .) (Qur’an 24:31).

By refraining from looking at other men, she will be one of those chaste women who restrain their glances, which is a quality men like in women, because it is indicative of their purity, decency and fidelity. This is one of the most beautiful characteristics of the chaste, decent, pure Muslim woman, and this was referred to in the Qur’an when it speaks of the women of Paradise and their qualities that are loved by men:

( In them will be [Maidens] chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or jinn before them has touched.) (Qur’an 55:56)

She does not describe other women to him

Another of the characteristics of the intelligent Muslim woman is that she does not describe any of her (female) friends or acquaintances to him, because this is forbidden according to the words of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):

“No woman should talk about another woman, or describe her to her husband (so that it is) as if he sees her.”70

Islam wants people’s hearts to be at peace, and to put a stop to provocative thoughts and overactive imaginations, so that people may live their lives in a decent and calm fashion, free from such thoughts and able to go about the tasks and duties for which they were created. No man should let his mind be occupied with cheap thoughts of the contrast between his wife and the woman she describes, or let himself become crazy with the embellishments his own imagination may add to the woman’s supposed beauty. He should not let such foolish talk stop him from going about his work and usual pastimes, or lead him to temptation and make him go astray.

She tries to create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility for him

The Muslim woman does not only make herself beautiful for her husband and share his work and pastimes, but she also tries to create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility in the home. So she tries to keep a clean and tidy home, in which he will see order and good taste, and clean, well-mannered, polite children, and where good meals are prepared regularly. The clever woman also does whatever else she can based on her knowledge and good taste. All of this is part of being a good Muslim wife as enjoined by Islam.

The true Muslim woman does not forget that according to Islam marriage is one of the signs of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).  Islam has made the wife a source of tranquility, rest and consolation for her husband:

( And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . .) (Qur’an 30:21)

Marriage is the deepest of bonds which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) ties between one soul and another, so that they may enjoy peace, tranquility, stability and permitted pleasures. The wife is a source of refuge, security and rest for her husband in a marital home that is filled with sincere love and compassionate mercy. The truly-guided Muslim woman is the best one to understand this lofty meaning and to translate it into a pleasant and cheerful reality.

She is tolerant and forgiving

The Muslim woman is tolerant and forgiving, overlooking any errors on the part of her husband. She does not bear a grudge against him for such errors or remind him about them every so often. There is no quality that will endear her to her husband like the quality of tolerance and forgiveness, and there is nothing that will turn her husband against her like resentment, counting faults and reminding him about his mistakes.

The Muslim woman who is following the guidance of Islam obeys the command of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala) :

( . . . Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? . . .) (Qur’an 24:22)

Such a woman deserves to be the queen of her husband’s heart and to fill his soul with joy and happiness.

She is strong in character and wise

Among the most prominent characteristics of the Muslim woman are her strength of character, mature way of thinking, and serious conduct. These are qualities which the Muslim woman possesses both before and after marriage, because they are the result of her understanding of Islam and her awareness of her mission in life.

She exhibits this strength of character when she is choosing a husband. She does not give way to her father’s whims if he has deviated from the right way and is seeking to force her into a marriage that she does not want. Neither does she give in to the man who comes to seek her hand in marriage, no matter how rich or powerful he may be, if he does not have the qualities of a true Muslim husband.

After marriage, her character remains strong, even though she is distinguished by her easy-going nature, mild-tempered behavior and loving obedience to her husband. Her strength of character comes to the fore especially when she has to take a stand in matters concerning her religion and ‘aqidah, as we have seen in some of the narratives referred to previously, such as Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, who insisted on adhering to Islam along with her son Anas, although her husband Malik ibn al-Nadar remained a mushrik, opposed to his wife being Muslim (see p. 166-168); and Umm Habibah bint Abi Sufyan who remained steadfast in her Islam when her husband ‘Ubayd-Allah ibn Jahsh al-Asadi became an apostate and joined the religion of the Abyssinians (see p. 98-101); and Barirah who was determined to separate from her husband whom she did not love, even though the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) tried to intervene on his behalf (see p. 162-163); and the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, who demanded a divorce from her husband whom she did not love either, and the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) accepted her request (see p. 162).

The primary motive of these women in taking up such a strong stance was their concern to adhere to Islam, to keep their belief (‘aqidah) pure, and ultimately to please Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).

Each of them was seeking that which is halal in her married life, and feared committing any haram deed, either because she was married to a man who did not share her religious beliefs, or she was falling short in her duties towards a husband whom she did not love or could not live with. If it were not for their strength of character and feelings of pride in themselves and their faith, they would have followed the commands of theimisguided husbands and would have found themselves going astray, choking on the misery of living with a husband they could not truly accept. The courage of these women shows how the true Muslim women should be, no matter where or when she lives.

But the Muslim woman’s strength of character should not make her forget that she is required to obey her husband, treating him with honor  and respect. Her strength of character should make her strike a wise balance in the way she speaks and acts towards him, with no inconsistency or carelessness. Even in those moments of anger which are unavoidable in a marriage, she should control herself and restrain her tongue, lest she say anything that could hurt her husband’s feelings. This is the quality of a strong, balanced character.

‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) represents the highest example of this good quality, and every Muslim woman should follow her example. The way in which she swore an oath when she was happy with her husband, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), was different from the way she spoke when she was upset with him. This is an example of good manners and respect. It was something that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) noticed, as she narrated that he said:

“I know when you are happy with me and when you are upset with me.” She said, “How do you know that?” He said, “When you are happy with me, you say, ‘No, by the Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  of Muhammad,’ and when you are upset with me, you say, ‘No, by the Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  of Ibrahim.’”  She said, “Yes, that is right. By Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) O Messenger of Allah, I only keep away from your name.”71

What refined manners and sincere love!

‘A’ishah’s strength of character became even more prominent when she was tried with the slander (al-ifk) which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) made a test for His Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and for all the ummah, raising the status of some and lowering that of others, increasing the faith of those who were guided and increasing the loss of those who went astray.

Her strength of character and deep faith in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) became apparent, and her trust in Him alone to prove her innocence was quite clear. I can find no more beautiful description of the deep and sincere faith of ‘A’ishah and her trust in the justice of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) than that given by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, who said:

“The test was so severe that the Revelation ceased for a month because of it, and nothing at all concerning this issue was revealed to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) during that time, so that the wisdom behind what had happened might become completely apparent and the sincere believers might be increased in faith and adherence to justice and might think well of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) His Messenger, the Messenger’s family and those believers who spoke the truth. The munafiqin, meanwhile, would be increased only in sins and hypocrisy, and their true nature would be exposed to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and the believers. ‘A’ishah, the one who had spoken the truth, and her parents would be shown to be true servants of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) who had received His full blessing. Their needs for Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and desire to draw closer to Him would increase; they would feel humble before Him and would put their hope and trust in Him, instead of hoping for the support of other people. ‘A’ishah would despair of receiving help from any created being, and she passed this most difficult test when her father said, ‘Get up and thank him,’ after Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) had sent down a Revelation confirming her innocence. She said, ‘By Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) I will not get up and thank him; I will only give thanks to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) Who has revealed my innocence.’

“Another aspect of the wisdom behind the Revelation being suspended for a month was that people would focus solely on this issue and examine it closely; the believers would wait with eager anticipation to hear what Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would reveal to His Messenger concerning this matter. The Revelation came like rain on parched land, when it was most needed by  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and his family, by Abu Bakr and his family, by the Sahabah and by the believers, and it brought them great relief and joy. If Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) had revealed the truth of the matter from the first instant, then the wisdom behind this event would have been obscured and a great lesson would have been lost.

“Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) wanted to demonstrate the status of His Prophet and his family in His sight, and the honor  which He had bestowed upon them. He Himself was to defend His Messenger and rebuke his enemies, in such a way that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had nothing to do with it. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) alone would avenge His Prophet and his family.

“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was the target of this slander, and the one who was accused was his wife. It was not appropriate for him to declare her innocence, although he knew that she was indeed innocent, and never thought otherwise. When he asked people to avenge him of those who had spread the slander, he said: ‘Who could blame me if I were to punish those who slandered my family? By Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) I have never known anything but good from my family, and they have told me about a man from whom I have never known anything but good, and he never came in my house except with me.’ He had more proof than the believers did of ‘A’ishah’s innocence, but because of his high level of patience, perseverance and deep trust in Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) he acted in the appropriate manner until the Revelation came that made his heart rejoice and raised his status, showing to his ummah that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) was taking care of him.

“Whoever examines ‘A’ishah’s response, when her father told her to get up and thank Allah’s Messenger , and she said, ‘No, I will give thanks only to Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala) ,’ will realize the extent of her knowledge and the depth of her faith. She attributed this blessing to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) alone, and gave thanks only to Him. She had a sound grasp of Tawhid, and demonstrated great strength of character and confidence in her innocence. She was not curious or anxious about the outcome when she spoke thus, because she was sure that she had done nothing wrong. Because of her faith in the Prophet’s love for her, she said what she said. She became even dearer to him when she said, ‘I will not give thanks except to Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) for He is the One Who has revealed my innocence.’ She displayed remarkable maturity and steadfastness when her dearly beloved husband, whom she could not bear to be apart from, kept away from her for a month; then when the matter was resolved and he wished to come back to her, she did not rush to him, despite her great love for him. This is the highest level of steadfastness and strength of character.”72

It is indeed the highest level of maturity and strength of character. The true Muslim woman is humble, kind, loving and obedient towards her husband, but she does not allow her character to weaken before him, even if he is the most beloved of all people towards her, and the most noble and honor able of all human beings, so long as she is in the right and is adhering to the way of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).  ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) set the highest example of the strength of character of the Muslim woman who is proud of her religion and understands what it is to be a true servant of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) alone.

The Muslim woman should interpret ‘A’ishah’s attitude as an attitude of superiority or arrogance, pushing her husband away. We have already explained the duties of the Muslim woman towards her husband i.e., obedience, loving kindness and seeking to please him, in accordance with Islamic teachings. What we learn from the attitude of ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) is the esteem and honor  with which Islam regards woman, so long as she adheres to the laws and teachings of Islam. This is what gives her character strength, pride, honor  and wisdom.

Islam gives women rights and recognition which are envied by Western women when they hear about women’s rights in Islam (see p. 92), This has been freely admitted by women’s liberation activists in Arab countries, as we have seen (see p. 58). Many of them have retracted their claims that Muslim women need to be liberated; one such activist is Dr. El-Saadawi, who was interviewed for the Kuwaiti newspaper al-Watan (mid-August 1989).

Dr. El-Saadawi was asked, “Do you think that the European women are an example to be copied?” She replied, “No, not at all. European women have advanced in some fields, but are backward in others. The marriage laws in Europe oppress women, and this is what led to the development of women’s liberation movements in those countries and in America, where this movement is very strong and is even at times quite vicious.”

Then she remarked: “Our Islamic religion has given women more rights than any other religion has, and has guaranteed her honor  and pride, but what has happened is that men have sometimes used certain aspects of this religion to create a patriarchal class system in which males dominate females.”

Clearly this patriarchal oppression mentioned by Dr. El Saadawi, which has led to the oppression of women, has been caused by ignorance of the true teachings of Islam.

She is one of the most successful wives

This discussion of the intellectual, psychological and other qualities of the smart Muslim wife demonstrates that she is a successful wife, if not the most successful wife and the greatest blessing and good fortune that a man may enjoy.

By virtue of her understanding of Islamic teaching, and her fulfilling her duties towards her husband, she becomes the greatest joy of her husband’s life: when he comes home, she greets him with a warm and friendly smile, speaking kindly and sweetly, looking attractive and smart, with a clean and tidy house, pleasant conversation, and a table full of good food, pleasing him and making him happy.

She is obedient, kind and loving towards her husband, ever eager to please him. She does not disclose his secrets or upset his plans. She stands beside him at times of hardship, offering her support and wise advice. She shares his joys and sorrows. She endears herself to him by the way she looks and behaves, and fills his life with joy and happiness. She encourages him to obey Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) in different ways, and motivates him by joining him in different activities. She respects his mother and family. She refrains from looking at other men. She keeps away from foolish and worthless talk. She is keen to provide an atmosphere of peace, tranquility and stability for her husband and children. She is strong of character without being rude or aggressive, and is kind and gentle without being weak. She earns the respect of those who speak to her. She is tolerant and forgiving, overlooking errors and never bearing grudges.

Thus the Muslim wife deserves to be the most successful wife. She is the greatest blessing that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) may bestow upon a man, and an incomparable source of joy in this life. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) indeed spoke the truth when he said:

“This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman.”73

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Footnotes:

1.      Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.

2.      See Fath al-Bari, 9/194, Kitab al-nikah, bab ikrah al-bint ‘ala al-zawaj; Ibn Majah, 1/602, Kitab al-nikah, bab man zawwaja ibnatahu wa hiya karihah; al-Mabsut 5/2.

3.      Fath al-Bari, 9/395, Kitab al-talaq, bab al-khul’.

4.      Fath al-Bari, 9/408, Kitab al-talaq, bab shafa’at al-Nabi (r) fi zawj Barirah.

5.      A hasan hadith narrated by Tirmidhi, 2/274, Abwab al-nikah, 3; and by Ibn Majah, 1/633, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-akfa’.

6.      Reported by al-Nisa’i with a sahih isnad, 6/114, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-tazwij ‘ala’l-Islam.

7.      Fath al-Bari, 7/476, Kitab al-maghazi, bab ghazwat Khaybar.

8.      See Fath al-Bari, 7/71, Kitab fada’il al-Sahabah, bab manaqib ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib; Sahih Muslim, 17/45, Kitab al-dhikr wa’l-du’a’, bab al-tasbih awwal al-nahar wa ‘ind al-nawm.

9.      See Fath al-Bari, 9/319, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-ghirah.

10.  Reported by Ahmad and al-Bazzar; the men of its isnad are rijal al-sahih. See Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 9/4, Bab haqq al-zawj ‘ala’l-mar’ah.

11.  A hasan sahih hadith, narrated by Tirmidhi, 2/314, in Abwab a-rida’, 10.

12.  Reported by al-Bazzar with a hasan isnad. See Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 4/308, Bab haqq al-zawj ‘ala’l-mar’ah.

13.  Reported by Ahmad and al-Nisa’i with jayyid isnads, and by al-Hakim, who said that its isnad was sahih. See al-Mundhiri, Al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib, 3/52, Kitab al-nikah.

14.  Reported by Ahmad and al-Tabarani; its narrators are thiqat. See Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 4/306, Bab haqq al-zawj ‘ala’l-mar’ah.

15.  Ibn Majah, 1/595, Kitab al-nikah, bab haqq al-zawj ‘ala’l-mar’ah; al-Hakim, 4/173, Kitab al-birr wa’l-silah; he said its isnad is sahih.

16.  Reported by al-Tabarani. Its narrators are those whose reports are accepted as sahih. See Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 4/312.

17.  Fath al-Bari, 9/294, Kitab al-nikah, bab idha batat al-mar’ah muhajirah firash zawjiha; Sahih Muslim, 10/8, Kitab al-nikah, bab tahrim imtina’ al-mar’ah min firash zawjiha.

18.  Sahih Muslim, 10/7, Kitab al-nikah, bab tahrim imtina’ al-mar’ah min firash zawjiha.

19.  A sahih hadith narrated by al-Tabarani in al-Awsat and al-Kabir. See Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 4/296, bab fi man yad’u zawjahu fa ta’talla.

20.  Reported by al-Bazzar, whose narrators are rijal al-sahih. See Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 4/312.

21.  A hasan sahih hadith narrated by Tirmidhi, 2/314, abwab al-rida’, 10, and by Ibn Hibban, Sahih, 9,473, kitab al-nikah.

22.  Sahih Muslim, 9/178, Kitab al-nikah, bab nadab man ra’a imra’atan fa waqa’at fi nafsihi ila an ya’ti imra’atahu.

23.  Reported by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih, 12/178, Kitab al-ashribah, 2, fasl fi’l-ashribah.

24.  Reported by al-Hakim, 2/190, Kitab al-nikah; he said its isnad is sahih.

25.  Fath al-Bari, 9/295, Kitab al-nikah, bab la ta’dhan al-mar’ah fi bayt zawjiha li ahad illa bi idhnihi.

26.  Sahih Muslim, 7/115, Kitab al-zakah, bab ajr al-khazin wa’l-mar’ah idha tasaddaqat min bayt zawjaha.

27.  Bukhari & Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 9/327, Kitab al-’iddah, bab nafaqah al-awlad wa’l-aqarib.

28.  Bukhari & Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 9/327, Kitab al-imarah wa’l-qada’: bab al-ra’i mas’ul ‘an ra’iyatihi.

29.  See Sahih Muslim, 16/81, Kitab fada’il al-Sahabah, bab min fada’il nisa’ Quraysh.

30.  Tawaf al-ifadah is one of the important rites of Hajj. It is done on the tenth day of Dhu’l-Hijjah after sacrificing an animal and shaving one’s head. [Translator]

31.  Sahih Muslim, 8/99, kitab al-Hajj, bab istihbab al-tib qabl al-ihram.

32.  Fath al-Bari, 3/585, Kitab al-Hajj, bab al-tib.

33.  Sahih Muslim, 8/100, kitab al-Hajj, bab istihbab al-tib qabl al-ihram.

34.  Sahih Muslim, 8/100, kitab al-Hajj, bab istihbab al-tib qabl al-ihram.

35.  Sahih Muslim, 3/208, Kitab al-hayd, bab jawaz ghusl al-ha’id ra’as zawjiha wa tarjiluhu.

36.  Fath al-Bari, 1/403, Kitab al-hayd, bab mubashirah al-ha’id; Sahih Muslim, 3/209, Kitab al-hayd, bab jawaz ghusl al-ha’id ra’as zawjiha.

37.  Reported as sahih by Ibn Hibban, and with a jayyid isnad by al-Bazzar; its narrators are well-known and are thiqat. See Ibn al-Jawzi, Ahkam al-nisa’, p. 311.

38.  Jamharah khutab al-’arab, 1/145.

39.  Fath al-Bari, 3/328, Kitab al-zakat, bab al-zakat ‘ala’l-zawj wa’l-aytam fi’l-hijr; Sahih Muslim, 7/86, Kitab al-zakat, bab al-zakat ‘ala’l-aqarib.

40.  Fath al-Bari, 3/325, Kitab al-zakat, bab al-zakat ‘ala’l-aqarib.

41.  Fath al-Bari, 3/325, Kitab al-zakat, bab al-zakat ‘ala’l-aqarib; Sahih Muslim, 2/65, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan naqsan al-iman bi naqs al-ta’at.

42.  Fath al-Bari, 1/83, Kitab al-iman, bab kufran al-’ashir.

43.  Reported by Ahmad, 3/428; its narrators are rijal al-sahih.

44.  Al-tabaqat al-kubra, 7/208-209.

45.  Sahih Muslim, 16/11, Kitab fada’il al-Sahabah, bab fada’il Umm Sulaym.

46.  See Sahih Muslim, 16/11, Kitab fada’il al-Sahabah, bab fada’il Umm Sulaym.

47.  From a lengthy hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim. See Fath al-Bari, 5/116, Kitab al-mazalim, bab al-ghurfah wa’l-’aliyyah al-mushrifah; Sahih Muslim, 7/195, Kitab al-siyam, bab bayan an al-shahr yakun tis’an wa ‘ishrin.

48.  A hasan sahih hadith, reported by Tirmidhi, 2/329, abwab al-talaq, 11; Ibn Hibban, 9/490, Kitab al-nikah, bab ma’ashirah al-zawjayn.

49.  Sahih Muslim, 10/8, Kitab al-nikah, bab tahrim ifsha’ sirr al-mar’ah; Al-targhib wa’l-tarhib, 3/86, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-tarhib min ifsha’ al-sirr bayna al-zawjayn.

50.  The story of the Prophet’s keeping way from his wives is narrated by al-Bukhari, Muslim and others. See Fath al-Bari, 5/116, kitab almazalim, bab al-ghurfah wa’l-aliyyah al-mushrifah, and 8/656, kitab al-tafsir, Surat al-Tahrim; Sahih Muslim, 7/195, Kitab al-siyam, bab bayan an al-shahr yakun tis’an wa ‘ishrin.

51.  See Fath al-Bari, 2/162, Kitab al-adhan, bab man kana fi hajah ahlihi.

52.  Fath al-Bari, 1/23, Kitab bad’ al-wahy, bab hadith ‘A’ishah awwal ma bada’a bihi al-wahy; Sahih Muslim, 2/197, Kitab al-iman, bab bad’ al-wahy.

53.  Al-sirah, 1/254.

54.  Ibid., 1/257.

55.  Bukhari & Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 14/155, Kitab fada’il al-Sahabah, bab manaqib Khadijah.

56.  Al-Sirah, 3/331; see also Fath al-Bari, 6/281, Kitab al-jizyah wa’l-mawadi’ah, bab hadith Sahl ibn Hanif; Sahih Muslim, 12/141, Kitab al-jihad wa’l-siyar, bab sulh al-Hudaybiyah.

57.  Al-Sirah 3/331.

58.  The Prophet (r) was telling his Companions to end the state of ihram which they had entered in order to perform ‘Umrah. They had been prevented from entering Makkah, and were to wait until the following year to perform ‘Umrah, but they did not want to abandon their hope of performing ‘Umrah on this occasion. They did not want to accept the deal that had been struck with the Quraysh, hence they were reluctant to end their ihram. [Translator]

59.  Zad al-Ma’ad, 3:295, al-Tabari, 2/124.

60.  Sahih Muslim, 12/141, Kitab al-jihad wa’l-siyar, bab sulh al-Hudaybiyah.

61.  See Sahih Muslim, 8/33, Kitab al-jana’iz, bab al-lahd wa nasab al-laban ‘ala’l-mayit.

62.  Reported by Ahmad and al-Tabarani; its narrators are rijal al-sahih. See also Majma’ al-Zawa’id, 9/324, Kitab al-manaqib, bab ma ja’a fi Abi’l-Dahdah.

63.  Reported by Abu Dawud, 2/45, in Kitab al-salah: bab qiyam al-layl, and by al-Hakim 1/309, Kitab salah al-tatawwu’; he said that it is sahih according to the consitions of Muslim.

64.  Sahih Muslim, 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.

65.  Reported by Ahmad, 1/168; its narrators are rijal al-sahih.

66.  Ibn al-Jawzi, Ahkam al-Nisa’, 343.

67.  Fath al-Bari, 9/484, Kitab al-talaq, bab ihdad al-mutawafa ‘anha zawjuha.

68.  Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/310, Bab man la yashkur al-nas.

69.  Reported by al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak, 2/190, Kitab al-nikah; he said it is a hadith whose isnad is sahih.

70.  See Fath al-Bari, 9/338, Kitab al-nikah, bab tabashir al-mar’ah al-mar’ah fatana’atha li zawjiha.

71.  See Sahih Muslim, 15/203, Kitab fada’il al-Sahabah, bab fada’il Umm al-Mu’minin ‘A’ishah.

72.  Zad al-Ma’ad, 3/261-264. Sahih Muslim, 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.

Related articles
  • A Collection of References from the Quran and Hadeeth about the Rights of Women guaranteed by Islam (justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com)
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Way Of Heart

23 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Culture, English, Feelings, God, Hadith, Heart, Hindus, History, Human, Islam, Jews, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Pics, Poems, Poetry, Politics, Power, Qura'n, Relationship, Safety, Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

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Sufism, or the ‘Way of the Heart‘, is the spiritual aspect of Islam.. Sufism enriches and embraces the journey of our path to God. through the guidance of  its Masters.

The expressions of joy and love from a well-nourished spirit often manifest themselves through music, poetry and visual arts. 

Allah has angels roaming the earth to find people who are in Remembrance of God.

When they find a circle of such people, they call each other and encompass them in layers up to the first heaven.

Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad(Peace and Blessings be upon him)

There are many people with their eyes open whose hearts are shut.
What do they see?
Matter.
But someone whose love is alert, even if the eyes go to sleep, he or she will be waking up thousands of others.
If you are not one of those light-filled lovers,
restrain your desire-body’s intensity.
Put limits on how much you eat
and how long you lie down.

But if you are awake here in the chest,
sleep long and soundly.

Your spirit will be out roaming and working,
even on the seventh level.

Muhammad says, I close my eyes
and rest in sleep, but my love
never needs rest.
The guard at the gate drowses.
The king stays awake.

You have a king inside who listens
for what delights the soul.

That king’s wakefulness
cannot be described in a poem.
,,,
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Just To Have Better Understanding

23 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, God, Hadith, Heart, History, Human, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Pics, Power, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Qura'n, Relationship, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World, Youth

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ISLAMIC EXPRESSIONS

There are a number of different collections

of Islamic terms and common expressions. Here is a collection that I

have found to be most useful to explain common expressions and

terminology used by Muslims.

 

ALAYHIS SALAM-

‘Peace be upon him’, a formula used after the name of a prophet

 

AMEEN-

The Arabic expression meaning ‘Please accept.’ Used at the end of prayers and supplictions.

 

ASSALAMU ALAYKUM

‘Peace be upon you’ the greeting of the muslim

[the

reply is ‘wa alaikumus salam’ which means ‘and peace be upon you. The

fuller version reads, ‘assalam u alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa baakatuhu’

which means ‘peace be upon you and the blessings and mercy of Alllah’

the reply is ‘wa alaikumus salam wa rahmatulahi wa baakatuhu’]

 

ALLAHU AKBAR

The Arabic expression meaning ‘Allah is greater.’ Also called the takbir

 

ALLAHU ALAM-

An Arabic expression meaning ‘Allah knows best’

 

AL HAMDU LILAH WA SHUKRU LILLAH-

The Arabic expression meaning which means ‘Praise belongs to Allah and all thanks to Allah’

 

ASTAGFURALLAH-

The Arabic expression meaning ‘I ask forgiveness of Allah’

 

AUDHU BILLAHI MIN ASH SHAYTAN AR RAJIM-

The Arabic expression meaning ‘I seek protection in Allah from the accursed satan.’

 

BARAKALLAH FIK-

An

expression which means ‘May the blessings of Allah be upon you.’ When a

muslims wants to thank another person, he uses different statements to

express his thanks, appreciation and gratitude. One of them is

BarakAllah

 

BISMILLAH AR RAHMAN AR RAHIM-

The basmala. ‘In the name of Allah, the all Merciful the all Compassionate.’

[this is also translated as in the name of Allah most gracious most merciful]

 

Bi’idhnillah

“With Allah’s Permission”

similar to previous

 

FI AMAN-ALLAH-

Valedictory phrase meaning ‘In Allahs protection’

 

FI SABIL-ALLAH-

The Arabic expression meaning ‘In the way of Allah’, ‘For the cause of Allah’ [also used to mean ‘for the love of Allah’]

 

INNA LILLAHI WA INNA ILAYHI RAJIUN-

This

is something which a muslim expresses when he is afflicted by a

misfortune, the meaning of which is ‘We are from Allah and to Him are

we returning.’ It is taken from an ayat (verse) from the Quran (ch 2 vs

156).

[this is usually said upon hearing of the death of an individual]

 

INSHALLAH-

The Arabic expression meaning ‘If Allah wills’

[this is usually said when referring to a situation in the future e.g. inshAllah I will go to the grocery shop tomorrow etc]

 

JAZAK ALLAHU KHAIRAN-

This

is a statement of thanks and appreciation to be said to a person who

does a favour. Instead of saying ‘shukran’ (thanks), this phrase is

used. It means ‘May Allah reward you with good.

 

Jihad

Striving/Struggle for Islam, (NOT holy war!)

 

LA HAWLA WALA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAH-

The

meaning of this expression is ‘There is no power nor strength save in

Allah’. This is said by a muslim when he is struck with calamity, or is

taken over by a situation beyond his control.

 

La Ilaha Illallah

“There is no God except Allah.”

 

 

Lihub-bullah

“For the love of Allah”

When having love for someone

 

MA SALAMA-

‘With peace’, a formula for ending letters

 

MA SH’ALLAH-

A phrase literally meaning ‘What Allah wishes’, and it indicates a good omen

[example of usage, I get an A in a test, my mother would say MashAllah]

 

Na-uzu-billah

I seek refuge with AllahWhen unpleasantness occurs

 

RADIYALLAHU ANHA-

The formula ‘May Allah be pleased with her’ used after a female companion

[usually abbreviated as RA or RAA]

 

RADIYALLAHU ANHU-

This

is an expression to be used by muslims whenever a name of a companion

of the Prophet Muhammed is mentioned or used in writing. IT means ‘May

Allah be pleased with him’ [usually abbreviated as RA or RAA]

 

RADIYALLAHU ANHUM-

The formula, ‘May Allah be pleased with them’, used after a group of companions [usually abbreviated as RA or RAA]

 

RAHIMAHULLAH–

The formula, ‘May Allah have mercy on him’

 

SALLAHU ALAYHI WA SALLAM-

‘May Allah bless him and grant him peace‘, the formula spoken after the mentioning of the Prophet Muhammed

[usually

the following two sets of abbreviations are used for this phrase (pbuh)

which means ‘peace be upon him’ and is the technical reply for all

Prophets or (saws) the correct suffix when referring to the Prophet

Muhammed ]

 

SAMI ALLAHU LIMAN HAMIDAH-

‘Allah heard him

who send praise to Him’, said by someone praying when he rises from

ruku (unless he is following an imam in prayer)

[if he is following an imam in prayer he says ‘Rabana wala kalhamd’ only]

 

SUBHAN’ALLAH–

‘Glorified

is Allah.’ To honour Allah andmake Him free from all (unsuitable evil

things) that are ascribed to Him, (or ‘Glorified be Allah’)

 

SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA–

‘Glorified

is He and exalted,’ an expression that muslims use when the name of

Allah is pronounced or written [this us usually abbreviated as (swt)]

 

TA’ALA-

‘Exalted is He’, an expression used after the name of Allah is mentioned

[i.e. Allah Ta’ala meaning, Allah, exalted be He]

 

TABARAKALLAH-

The formula ‘Blessed is Allah’ [usually used in the context of when one hears good news]

 

Wassalaam

“And peace”

used when leaving/departing from someone

 

Wa iyyakum

“And you too”

response to ‘jazak Allahu khairan’

 

Yar-hamok-Allah

 

“Allah have mercy on you”

Say this when someone else sneezes, after

you hear them say “Alhamdulillah”

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HAYA (Shyness)

20 Thursday Oct 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Children, Culture, Feelings, Hadith, Health, Heart, History, Human, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Power, Qura'n, Relationship, Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World, Youth

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What is Hayaa?

Hayaa itself is derived from the word hayaat which means life. But that is something that we will get into later on in this essay. This term covers a large number of concepts. In English, it may be translated as modesty, shyness, self-respect, bashfulness, shame, honour, etc. The original meaning of Hayaa according to a believer’s nature, refers to a bad and painful feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

According to Islam, Hayaa is an attribute which pushes the believer to avoid anything distasteful or abominable. It keeps him/her from being neglectful in giving everyone what is due upon them, and if for any reason he/she is not able to keep up with his/her commitment then they will feel extremely bad and ashamed about this. The reason being that he/she will have displeased Allah by breaking a commitment.

Hayaa plays a huge role in the lives of Muslims because it is a very important part of our emaan (faith/belief). If we do not have any form of hayaa in us then it is most likely that our eeman is very weak. For as it states in the following hadith:

Narrated by Abu Hurairah (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu):

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said, “Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Hayaa (This term “Hayaa” covers a large number of concepts which are to be taken together; amongst them are self respect, modesty, bashfulness, and scruple, etc.) is a part of faith.” [Bukhari]

We also learn from the Prophet (sal-Allahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) the importance of having hayaa and how it is not something to be ashamed about, but instead one should be ashamed if they do not have it.

Narrated Abdullah Ibn Umar (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu):

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Hayaa and was saying, “You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you.” On that, Allah’s Apostle said, “Leave him, for Hayaa is (a part) of Faith.” [Bukhari]

Now the above hadith is also a form of proof that “shyness” is not just something regarding women but also an attribute that believing men should have, for it is an indication if their fear of Allah and an indication of the value of their deen.

Now to discuss the different types of hayaa. How many types of hayaa are there?

Hayaa’ is of two kinds: good and bad

The good Hayaa’ is to be ashamed to commit a crime or a thing which Allah and His Messenger (sal-Allahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) has forbidden, and bad Hayaa’ is to be ashamed to do a thing, which Allaah and His Messenger (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) ordered to do.

Firstly, to talk about the types of Good hayaa.

For example, anyone who is a believer, he/she should build their personalities and their character with the good dimensions of hayaa. The most important is that he/she must be shy of doing ANYTHING displeasing to Allah, with the belief that he/she will have to answer to all their deeds. If one develops a sense such as this one, it will help the believer to obey all of Allah’s command and to stay away from the sins. Once the believer realizes that Allah is watching us all the time and we will have to answer for every move we make in this dunya, he/she would not neglect any order from Allaah or His Messenger (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam). So the stronger this sense of hayaa becomes, the more it motivates one to make sure that Allah doesn’t see him/her doing anything forbidden. The way to develop this hayaa is that one must keep learning and absorbing more and more knowledge of our deen.

Another type of hayaa is more of a social aspect concerning others besides Allah. Normally these things often come in regard with ones relationship with family. For instance a child not wanting to do something displeasing to his mother, or a wife not wanting to do something displeasing to her husband or even a student who is careful about saying something incorrect infront of his teacher (daa’ee). Last but not least is the type of hayaa in which the believers become shy of themselves. This is when they have reached the peek of their emaan. What this means is that if they do, or say, or see, anything wrong or even commit the tiniest sin, they start to feel extremely bad and embarrassed or they feel extreme guilt in their heart. This builds a high degree of self-consciousness and that is what strengthens the believers commitment to Allah.

After discussing the various types of “beneficial” hayaa, it is time to discuss the type of hayaa which is not only against the teachings of our Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) but it is also solid proof of the weakness of someone’s eeman. This negative aspect revolves around a person’s shamefulness or shyness of doing something that Allaah has ordered us to do through the Qur’aan or our Prophet’s (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) sunnah. This constitutes the shamefulness or embarrassment of doing a lawful act or something that is ordered upon us from Allaah. Meaning for someone not to follow an obligation of Islaam, due the fact of being shy infront of others about it. This is totally forbidden because then one is giving the people of this dunya more respect than the One who Created this whole universe. It also means if someone is shy or afraid to seek knowledge of Islaam for worldly reasons, because they do not want others to see them or to know of their ignorance. This once again goes contrary to what Allaah has told us in the Qur’aan, which is to seek knowledge and preach it to others.

In this society there are many examples. People will go out an get degrees in law schools, or science, or engineering and they will put four to six years of their lives studying for this stuff that will only benefit them in this world. Why? You ask? Well most likely, in this society people including Muslims, choose their careers according to how much money they will make and what status they will have in this society as to being a lawyer or a doctor etc. They do not realize that in Islaam the BEST stature of a Muslim is that of a “daa’ee” or a teacher of Islaam. These Islaamic teachers and scholars are even higher in the eyes of Allaah then one who only sits at home and preaches or does ibaadah. If they want to study law, why not Islaamic Shariah? If they want to study science, why not Islaamic Science? So this explains how people consider the worldly careers to be of higher value and are embarrassed to even express an interest in Islaamic Studies. Only because they will not be considered as high as the other “educated” people. This is having the bad hayaa or “shame” of something that is encouraged to us by Allaah and His Messenger (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam).

Another proof of bad hayaa is that which is extremely popular amongst our sisters in this western society. That is what the rest of this essay will be focused on. One of the most important aspects of hayaa, for women, is that of guarding their chastity and their modesty. To do this they must follow the order from Allaah telling them to keep hidden themselves and their adornments from all men unlawful to them in marriage. Now this order involves all the aspects of hayaa for those who do follow it. The believing and following women are ashamed of disobeying Allaah. They are shy of the opposite gender in this society because of what they might experience if strange men look at them and lastly they have hayaa because they are ashamed of going out in public and committing this grave sin of displaying their beauty is public. There are many women in this society who claim that they have hayaa but to follow the order of hijab is backwards and that women in this society shouldn’t have to cover, is obviously disbelief. For if someone really had hayaa they would never contradict ANYTHING that Allaah has ordained upon us even if they did not exactly like the idea. A women’s hayaa comes from her modesty and her shyness and her fear of Allaah, so how can she have hayaa if she walks around in public un-veiled? Proof lies in the following hadith.

Abdullah Ibn Umar (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“Indeed hayaa (modesty) and Iman are Companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well.” [Bayhaqi]

There are many verses in the Qur’aan and many ahadeeth explaining the reasons behind observing Hijab. The Islaamic Shariah has not stopped at giving the Commandments of Hijab, it has also clarified every such thing which directly relates to these commandments and, with the slightest carelessness, may result in vulgarity and immodesty. In other words such things have also been forbidden in order to close the doors to indecency and lewdness, in return providing a stronger pillar for hayaa. Modesty (hayaa) and maintaining one’s honor are of primary importance in preserving the moral fiber of any society. This is why modesty has been called the ornament of a woman, which protects her from many sins and which prevents ill-intentioned men from daring to have bad thoughts about her. This hayaa has been made a part of her nature to safeguard her from being abused by immoral men.

Narrated on the authority of Anas Ibn Malik (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu), that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“When lewdness is a part of anything, it becomes defective; and when hayaa is a part of anything it becomes beautiful.” [Tirmidhi]

So it is only obvious that Hijab plays and extremely important role in regards to Hayaa. For Hijab prevents lewdness and Hayaa backs this up and then person’s eeman becomes even stronger. So both things work together in a partnership. At the time of our beloved Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) as soon as the verses of Hijab were revealed, all the Quraish and Ansar ran home to their wives and daughters and close female relatives to tell them to cover themselves. The ones who had veils used them and the ones who did not have veils made some right away. For instance the following hadeeth tells us:

Narrated by Aa’ishah (radi-Allaahu ‘anhaa):

“May Allaah have mercy on the early immigrant women. When the verse “That they should draw their veils over their bosoms” was revealed, they tore their thick outer garments and made veils from them. And when the verse “That they should cast their outer garments over themselves” was revealed, the women of Ansar came out as if they had crows over their heads by wearing outer garments.” [Abu Daawood]

This indicates that all these women wanted to guard their modesty which is why they followed out the orders of Allaah. Yet, another verse talk about the level of modesty in Aa’ishah (radi-Allaahu ‘anhaa).

Narrated Aa’ishah (radi-Allaahu ‘anhaa):
“I used to enter my house where Allaah’s Messenger (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) was and take off my garment, saying that only my husband and my father were there; but when Umar was buried along with them, I swear by Allaah that I did not enter it without having my clothes wrapped round me owing to modesty regarding Umar.” [at-Tirmidhi and Ahmad]

If women in today’s society choose not to wear the veils, but some belief in their hearts, than they might be categorized as Muslim women but not Mumineen. The truth is that Hayaa is a special characteristic of a Mu’min. People who are ignorant of the teachings of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) do not concern themselves with Hayaa and Honour. Hayaa and Iman are interdependent; therefore either they both exist together or they both perish.

Thus, the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) has said in one hadith,

“When there is no hayaa left, then do as you please.”

Today vulgarity and all its ingredients have become a common place even among well-known Muslims in the zeal of imitating the non-believers. It is these people who have been struggling to bring Muslim women out of Hijab into immodesty “be’hayaai” and indecency. They have adopted the lifestyles of the Christians more than the traditions of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam). Such people are in a dilemma. On the one hand, they desire to freely look at the half-clad bodies of the wives and daughters of other Muslims on the streets; and on the other hand, they do not have the courage to deny the teachings of the Holy Qur’aan and the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam). Neither can they say they have given up Islaam, nor can they bear to see Muslim women wear Hijab and showing some Hayaa. Actually the fact is, indulging in indecency for so long has killed the sense of modesty (hayaa) which Islaam had commanded them to preserve. It is this natural desire of maintaining one’s honor which compels men to protect the respect and honor of their women. What these men and women do not understand is that if the women do not observe Hijab and do not develop Hayaa inside of them, they will be entertaining those who have taken the path of shaitaan. Such as the following hadeeth:

Malik Ibn Uhaimir (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu) reported that he heard the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) saying,

“Allaah will not accept any good deeds or worship of an immodest and vulgar person.” We asked, “Who is a vulgar and immodest person?” He replied, “A man who’s wife entertains Ghair-mahram men.”

Now the word “entertains” implies that she is showing off her beauty instead of keeping herself covered up. If the Muslim brothers of today’s society knew the benefits of hayaa and hijab hey would definitely not tolerate the opposite. At the time of our beloved Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) the husbands could not even imagine their wives leaving the houses un-veiled let alone go out and beautify themselves for other men to get “free looks”. The following hadeeth shows this fact clearly:

Narrated by Al-Mugheera (radi-Allaahu ‘anhu):

Sa’d Ibn ‘Ubada said, “I will not hesitate killing my wife with a sword if I see her with another man” This news reached Allaah’s Apostle who then said, “You people are astonished at Sa’d’s Ghira (self-respect, honor). By Allaah, I have more Ghira than he, and Allaah has more Ghira than I, and because of Allaah’s Ghira, He has made unlawful shameful deeds and sins done in open and in secret. And there is none who likes that the people should repent to Him and beg His pardon than Allaah, and for this reason He sent the warners and the givers of good news. And there is none who likes to be praised more than Allaah does, and for this reason, Allaah promised to grant Paradise (to the doers of good).” ‘Abdul Malik said, “No person has more Ghira than Allaah.” [Sahehi Bukhari]

So this should be enough to understand why Hijab is so important for women to establish Hayaa in themselves and live the lives of true mu’mineen. Sometimes the situation becomes a such that people will have done wrong/sins for such a long period of time that they will not be able to differentiate between right and wrong. Another way to put this is that, a person’s exceeding indulgence in indecency results in the loss of wisdom and the ability to see good deeds from bad deeds.

As the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“I have a sense of Honour (a part of hayaa). Only a person with a darkened heart is deprived of Honour.”

So one wonders….what if this observing of Hijab and maintaining Hayaa is so important then how come we have nothing to show us the merits? Well the answer to that question clearly lies in the Qur’aan and ahadeeth.

There are many merits of Hayaa if one wants to know. Here are some just to list a few.

Allaah loves Hayaa. We know this by the following hadith:
“Surely Allaah (is One who) has hayaa and is the Protector. He loves hayaa and people who cover each others faults.” [Bukhari]

Hayaa itself is a Greatness of Islaam as our Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) indicated:
“Every way of life has a innate character. The character of Islaam is hayaa.” Or “Every deen has an innate character. The character of Islaam is modesty (hayaa).” [Abu Daawood]

Hayaa only brings good and nothing else. Our Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:
“Hayaa does not bring anything except good.” [Bukhaaree]

Hayaa is a very clear indication of our eeman. As the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) had mentioned to the Ansar who was condemning is brother about being shy:
“Leave him, for Hayaa is (a part) of Faith.” [Bukhaaree]

Last but not least, Hayaa leads us to PARADISE. As the Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) told us:
“Hayaa comes from eeman; eeman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” [Bukhaaree]

The actual word Hayaa is derived from Hayaat. This means life. It is only obvious that when someone has Hayaa in them, they will LIVE a life of Islaam. On the other hand if they do not have Hayaa they are living a life that is Dead “Islaamically” but alive according to this dunya.

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) said:

“Hayaa and Trustworthiness will be the first to go from this world; therefore keep asking Allaah for them.” [Bayhaaqee]

In conclusion to this essay we must understand that Hayaa is important for both men and women. Men are to control themselves by getting married as young as possible or if they cannot afford that they should fast.

Women are told to conceal themselves so that the men will not be over taken by the whispers of shaitaan and will not disrespect or take advantage of the women. There are many verses in the Qur’aan that have clearly explained how we have to behave and Allaah is All-Knowing therefore He knew that we would face these problems living in this society, and that is no excuse to change Islaam and only practice what we feel is right. Allaah has told men how to guide their modesty and has told women how to guide their modesty. If either one of them refuse to follow the commandment of their Lord, may Allaah have mercy on them and may He guide them to the straight path.

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allaah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty…”
Soorah an-Noor (24) : 30-31

ALL PRAISE BE TO ALLAH (All Mighty Lord)

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Various Constructive Roles Of A Women

10 Sunday Jul 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, God, Hadith, Heart, Hindus, History, Human, Islam, Jews, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Power, Quotes, Qura'n, Relationship, Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

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THE various constructive roles (as a daughter, a wife, a mother and a sister-in-faith ) a woman plays. It deals into what is essentially required of a woman to play, at times, these roles simultaneously.

As a daughter:

(1) The Qur’an ended the cruel practice of female infanticide, which was before Islam. Allah has said: “And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs use to do) is questioned: For what sin was she killed.” (Qur’an 81:8-9)

(2) The Qur’an goes further to rebuke the unwelcoming attitude of some parents upon hearing the news of the birth of a baby girl, instead of a baby boy. Allah has said: “And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief. He hides himself from the people because of the evil whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision.” (Qur’an 16:58-59)

(3) Parents are duty-bound to support and show kindness and justice to their daughters. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Whosoever supports two daughters until they mature, he and I will come on the Day of Judgment as this (and he pointed with his fingers held together).”

(4) A crucial aspect in the upbringing of daughters that greatly influences their future is education. Education is not only a right but a responsibility for all males and females. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every Muslim.” The word “Muslim” here is inclusive of both males and females.

(5) Islam neither requires nor encourages female circumcision. And while it may be practiced by some Muslims in certain parts of Africa, it is also practiced by other peoples, including Christians, in those places, a reflection merely of the local customs and practices there.

As a wife:

(1) Marriage in Islam is based on mutual peace, love, and compassion, and not just the mere satisfying of human sexual desire. Among the most impressive verses in the Qur’an about marriage is the following:

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them; and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.”(Qur’a n 30:21, see also 42:11 and 2:228)

(2) A female has the right to accept or reject marriage proposals. According to the Islamic Law, women cannot be forced to marry anyone without their consent.

(3) The husband is responsible for the maintenance, protection, and overall leadership of the family, within the framework of consultation (see the Qur’an 2:233) and kindness (see the Qur’an 4:19). The mutuality and complementary nature of the role of husband and wife does not mean subservience by either party to the other. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) instructed Muslims regarding women: “I command you to be good to women.” And “The best among you are those who are best to their wives.”

The Qur’an urges husbands to be kind and considerate toward their wives, even if a wife falls out of favor with her husband or disinclination for her arises within him:

“…And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (Qur’an 4:19)

It also outlawed the Arabian practice before Islam whereby the stepson of the deceased father was allowed to take possession of his father’s widow(s) (inherit them) as if they were part of the estate of the deceased (see the Qur’an 4:19).

(4) Should marital disputes arise, the Qur’an encourages couples to resolve them privately in a spirit of fairness and goodness. Indeed, the Qur’an outlines an enlightened step and wise approach for the husband and wife to resolve persistent conflict in their marital life. In the event that dispute cannot be resolved equitably between husband and wife, the Qur’an prescribes mediation between the parties through family intervention on behalf of both spouses (see the Qur’an 4:35).

(5) Divorce is a last resort, permissible but not encouraged, for the Qur’an esteems the preservation of faith and the individual’s right – male and female alike – to felicity. Forms of marriage dissolution include an enactment based upon mutual agreement, the husband’s initiative, the wife’s initiative (if part of her marital contract), the court’s decision on a wife’s initiative (for a legitimate reason), and the wife’s initiative without a cause, provided that she returns her marital gift to her husband. When the continuation of the marriage relationship is impossible for any reason, men are still taught to seek a gracious end for it. The Qur’an states about such cases:

“And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis. But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself.” (Qur’an 2:231, see also 2:229 and 33:49)

(6) Associating polygamy with Islam, as if it was introduced by it or is the norm according to its teachings, is one of the most persistent myths perpetuated in Western literature and media. Polygamy existed in almost all nations and was even sanctioned by Judaism and Christianity until recent centuries. Islam did not outlaw polygamy, as did many peoples and religious communities; rather, it regulated and restricted it. It is not required but simply permitted with conditions (see the Qur’an 4:3). Spirit of law, including timing of revelation, is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (e.g. imbalances between the number of males and females created by wars) and to provide a moral, practical, and humane solution for the problems of widows and orphans.

As a mother:

(1) The Qur’an elevates kindness to parents (especially mothers) to a status second to the worship of Allah:

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say, ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Qur’an 17:23-24, see also 31:14, 46:15, and 29:8)

(2) Naturally, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) specified this behavior for his followers, rendering to mothers an unequaled status in human relationships. A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said,“O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?” The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Your mother.” The man said, “Then who?” The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Then your mother.” The man further asked, “Then who?” The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Then your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said: “Then your father.”

As a sister-in-faith

(1) According to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): “Women are but shaqa’iq (twin halves or sisters) of men.” This saying is a profound statement that directly relates to the issue of human equality between the genders. If the first meaning of the Arabic word shaqa’iq, “twin halves,” is adopted, it means that the male is worth one half (of society), while the female is worth the other half. If the second meaning, “sisters,” is adopted, it implies the same.

(2) Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught kindness, care, and respect toward women in general: “I command you to be good to women.” It is significant that such instruction of the Prophet (pbuh) was among his final instructions and reminders in the farewell pilgrimage address given shortly before his passing away.

(3) Modesty and social interaction: The parameters of proper modesty for males and females (dress and behavior) are based on revelatory sources (the Qur’an and Prophet’s sayings) and, as such, are regarded by believing men and women as divinely-based guidelines with legitimate aims and divine wisdom behind them.They are not male-imposed or socially-impose d restrictions. It is interesting to know that even the Bible encourages women to cover their head: “If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.” (1 Corinthians 11:6).

The legal and political aspect of women in Islam

(1) Equality before the law: Both genders are entitled to equality before the law and courts of law. Justice is genderless (see the Qur’an 5:38, 24:2, and 5:45). Women do possess an independent legal entity in financial and other matters.

(2) Participation in social and political life: The general rule in social and political life is participation and collaboration of males and females in public affairs (see the Qur’an 9:71).There is sufficient historical evidence of participation by Muslim women in the choice of rulers, in public issues, in law-making, in administrative positions, in scholarship and teaching, and even in the battlefield. Such involvement in social and political affairs was conducted without the participants’ losing sight of the complementary priorities of both genders and without violating Islamic guidelines of modesty and virtue.

Conclusion:

The status which non-Muslim women reached during the present era was not achieved due to the kindness of men or due to natural progress. It was rather achieved through a long struggle and sacrifice on woman’s part and only when society needed her contribution and work, more especially during the two World Wars, and due to the escalation of technological change. While in Islam such compassionate and dignified status was decreed, not because it reflects the environment of the seventh century, nor under the threat or pressure of women and their organizations, but rather because of its intrinsic truthfulness.

If this indicates anything, it would demonstrate the Divine origin of the Qur’an and the truthfulness of the message of Islam, which, unlike human philosophies and ideologies, was far from proceeding from its human environment; a message which established such humane principles that neither grew obsolete during the course of time, nor can become obsolete in the future. After all, this is the message of the All-Wise and All-Knowing God whose wisdom and knowledge are far beyond the ultimate in human thought and progress.

Courtesy: islamreligion.com

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The Hijab

04 Monday Jul 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, God, Heart, Human, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Qura'n, Relationship, Sahih Muslim, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

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The Hijab .. Why?
By Dr: Muhammad Ismail

Translation & Comments
By Dr: Saleh As-Saleh

AN ACT OF OBEDIENCE
The Hijab is an act of obedience to Allah SW(4) and to His
Messenger Muhammad (SAAW(5)). He (SW) says:
“It is not for a believer, man or woman,
when Allah and His Messenger have
decreed a matter that they should have
an option in their decision. And
whoever disobeys Allah and His
Messenger, has indeed strayed in a
plain error.” (Qur’an 33:36)
Allah (SW) also says:
“But no by your Lord, they can have no
Faith, until they make you
(Muhammad (SAAW)) a judge in all
disputes between them, and find in
themselves no resistance against your
decisions, and accept (them) with full
submission.” (Qur’an 4:65)
Indeed,, Allah ordered that women must put on the Hijab(6).
He (SW) says:
“And tell the believing women to lower
their gaze (from looking at forbidden
things) and protect their private parts
(from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not
to show off their adornment except
what must (ordinarily) appear thereof,
that they should draw their veils over
their Juyubihinna(7).” (Qur’an 24:31).
Allah considered the dazzling display of beauty an act of ignorance:
“And stay in your houses and do not
display yourselves like that of the times
of Jahiliyeeyah(8) (ignorance). ” (Qur’an 33:33)
He, Most Glorified, says:
“And when you ask the Prophet’s wives
for anything you want, ask them from
behind a screen.” (Qur’an 33:53)
The above Ayah (verse) does not apply only to the Prophet’s
wives but to all of the believing women. Carefully read the
following saying of Allah (SW):
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your
daughters and the women of the
believers to draw their cloaks (veils)
over their bodies (when outdoors). That
is most convenient that they should be
known and not molested.”(9) (Qur’an 33:59)
The Prophet (SAAW) said:
“The woman (i.e. any woman) is A’wrah (10)”, that is she must be covered.
__________
(4) SW: Subhanahu Wata’ala, Most Glorified and Most High is He.
(5) SAAW: Salla Allahu Aleihi Wassalam: May the Salat and Salaam
(Peace) of Allah be upon His Prophet Muhammad
(6)This is not something cultural. It is Allah’s order. Its conditions are not
Arabian, Egyptian, Pakistani, Black or White American, etc. Its
conditions are specified in the Qur’an and Sunnah to provide a protection
and safeguarding of women. No one knows about what is good for men
and women more than their Creator, Allah. His laws are Wise as it is the
case with all of His actions.
(7) Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from As-Salaf As-Saleh (righteous
predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include

the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands
and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable
for women to cover their whole bodies.
(8) Jahilyeeyah: The days of ignorance prior to the Revelation of the Qur’an.
(9) No one can ignore the molestation of women that exists in the so called
“open” societies. The question is: why it is happening? The answer
begins to shape up when people think about the purpose behind
creation. Allah created us for the single purpose of worshipping Him
alone. He detailed all the ways to fulfill this purpose in the Last
Revelation to all mankind, the Qur’an. In it we can find how women and
men can safeguard their dignity, honor, and morality. The worship of
Allah is manifested in the following of His orders. Allah orders that
men and women must avoid all the roads that lead to animalistic ways of
living. The Hijab is one of Allah’s commands. It is an honor and
protection for women as well as a true freedom for her body from the
hands and eyes of aggressors and molesters.
(l0) This hadeeth is narrated by Abdullah bin Masoud and collected by
At-Tirmidhi who said it is Hassan-Ghareeb i.e. good and Ghareeb (The
Ghareeb is a narration by one narrator either in each level of the levels
of the chain of narrators or in some levels of the chain). Also As-Siyouti
hinted that it is authentic.
(2) THE HIJAB IS IFFAH (MODESTY):
Allah (SW) made the adherence to the Hijab a manifestation
for chastity and modesty:
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your
daughters and the women of the
believers to draw their cloaks (veils)
over their bodies (when outdoors). That
is most convenient that they should be
known and not molested.” (Qur’an 33: 59)
In the above Ayah there is an evidence that the recognition of
the apparent beauty of the woman is harmful to her. When the
cause of attraction ends, the restriction is removed. This is
illustrated in the case of elderly women who may have lost
every aspect of attraction. Allah (SW) made it permissible for
them to lay aside their outer garments and expose their faces
and hands reminding, however, that it is still better for them to
keep their modesty:
“And as for women past child-bearing
who do not expect wed-lock, it is no sin
for them if they discard their (outer) in
such a way as not to show their
adornment; but it is best to be modest
and Allah knows and sees all things
provided they do not make a display of
their beauty; but it is best to be modest
and Allah knows and sees all
things.” (Qur’an 24:60)
So how about young women? Clearly they must stay modest
find not display their beauty.
(3) THE HIJAB IS TAHARA (PURITY)
Allah (SW) had shown us the Hikma (Wisdom) behind the
legislation of the Hijab:
“And when you ask them (the Prophet’s
wives) for anything you want, ask them
from behind a screen, that is purer for
your hearts and their hearts.” (Qur’an 33:53)
The Hijab makes for greater purity for the hearts of believing
men and women because it screens against the desire of the
heart. Without the Hijab, the heart may or may not desire.
That is why the heart is more pure when the sight is blocked
(by Hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions) is
very much manifested. The Hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and
the greed of the sick hearts:
“Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose
heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil
desire for adultery, etc.) should be
moved with desire, but speak in an
honorable manner.” (Qur’an 33:32)
(4) THE HIJAB IS A SHIELD
The Prophet (SAAW) said:
“Allah, Most High, is Ha’yeii(11), Sit’teer(12), He loves Haya’
(Bashfulness) and Sitr (Shielding; Covering)”(13).
The Prophet (SAAW) also said:
“Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her
husband’s home (to show off for unlawful purposes). has
broken Allah’s shield upon her”(14)
The hadeeth demonstrates that depending upon the kind of
action committed there will be either reward (if good) or
punishment (if bad).
__________
(11) Ha’yeii: Allah is Bashful: He does not unravel the acts of disobedience
by His slaves. They openly disobey Allah while they are in need of Him,
yet He (being Ha’yeii) is ashamed of humiliating them leaving the door
of repentance opened for them. If, however, they become arrogant and
persist on the spread of evil, and disobedience, Allah certainly is All-Just
in His infliction of punishment.
(12) Sit’teer: Allah is Sit’teer: He provides means that shield against the
uncovering of disobedient acts. The slaves commit acts of disobedience
while Allah is providing them with many of His favors. He (SW) gives
the opportunity for each one of us to return to Him in repentance and to
seek His forgiveness. He loves those who do not like the spread of sin.
He dislikes the Muslim who publicizes his acts of sin and disobedience.
He loves the Muslim who does not unravel the sins of his brother in
Islam while at the same time calls him to repent. The Hijab is something
beloved by Allaah because it is a shield against the spread of evil
manifested in the display of beauty to strangers.
(l3) Collected by Abu Dawoud, An-Nissa’ee, AI-Baihaqee, Ahmed, and in
Saheeh An-Nissa’ee.
(14) Collected by Abu Dawoud and At-Tirmidhi who said: it is a good
hadeeth” .
(5) THE HIJAB IS TAQWAH
(RIGHTEOUSNESS)
Allah (SW) says:
“O Children of Adam! We have
bestowed raiment upon you to cover
yourselves (screen your private parts,
etc.) and as an adornment. But the
raiment of righteousness, that is
better.” (Qur’an 7:26)
The widespread forms of dresses in the world today are mostly
for show off and hardly taken as a cover and shield of the
woman’s body. To the believing women, however, the purpose
is to safeguard their bodies and cover their private parts as a
manifestation of the order of Allah. It is an act of Taqwah
(righteousness ).
(6)THE HIJAB IS EEMAN(BELIEF OR
FAITH)
Allah (SW) did not address His Words about the Hijab except
to the believing women, Al-Mo’minat:
“And say (O Muhammad (SAAW) to
the believing women.” (Qur’an 24: 31)
In another Ayah Allah (SW) also says:.
“And the believing
women” (Qur’an 33: 59).
A’isha (RAA(15)) the wife of the Prophet (SAAW), addressed
some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came
visiting her and had light clothes on them:
“If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the
dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing
women, then enjoy it.”(16)
__________
(15) RAA: Radiya Allahu anhu (anha or anhum): May Allah be pleased
with him (her or them)
(16) Reported in “Ma’alim As-Sunnan” by Abu Suleiman Al-Khitabi in his
explanation of Sunnan An-Nissa’ee V 4, p.376
(7) THE HIJAB IS HAYA'(BASHFULNESS)
The Prophet (SAAW) said:
“Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is
haya’ (bashfulness).”(17)
He (SAAW) also said:
“Bashfulness is from belief and belief is in Aj-Jannah
(Paradise).”(18)
Furthermore, he (SAAW) said:
“Bashfulness and belief are fully associated together if one is
lifted the other follows suit.”(19)
The mother of the believers, A’isha said: “I used to enter the
room where the Messenger of Allah (SAAW) and my father
were later buried in without having my garment on me,
saying it is only my husband and my father”. But when Umar
(RAA) was later buried in (the same place), I did not enter
the room except that I had my garment on being shy from
Umar (RAA).”(20) The Hijab fits the natural bashfulness which
is a part of the nature of women.
__________
(17) Related by Imam Malik in his “Mu’wata” (2: 905-Arabic). The
hadeeth
chain is Mursal i.e. the chain of narrators is disconnected at one point or
another. For example to say: “On the authority of A, on the authority of
B, on the authority of C that the Prophet said “….” . The hadeeth is
Mursal if for example C did not hear directly from the Prophet. In the
case of the above hadeeth, Ibin Habban connected the chain by two ways
of narrators, both of them are weak.
(18) collected by At-Tirmidhi who said it is: “a good and authentic
hadeeth”.
(19) Narrated by Abdul’lah bin Umar as Related by Al-Hakim in his
“Mustadrak” (1/22-Arabic) who said: “it is a good and authentic
Hadeeth…..” and Al-Thahabi confirmed Al-Hakim on this.
(20) As-Simt Ath’ameeen Fee Maniqib Ummahat Ul-Mu’mineen, p.91:A
Book by Ibin As-Sakir that represents a collection of the great attributes
of the Mothers of Believers (The wives of the Prophet-SAAW). Al-
Hakim reported a similar narration and said that it is “good according to
the conditions of Imam Bukhari and Imam Mulslim”, noting that both
Imams did not discuss the chain of narration itself. Al- Thahabi had no
comment about Al-Hakim’s narration.
(8) THE HIJAB IS GHEERAH
The Hijab fits the natural feeling of Gheerah which is intrinsic
in the straight man who does not like people to look at his
wife or daughters. Gheerah is a driving emotion that drives
the straight man to safeguard women who are related to him
from strangers. The straight Muslim man has Gheerah for all
Muslim women. Many in the world had lost this great moral
aspect. In response to lust and desire men look (with desire) at
other women while they do not mind that other men do the
same to their wives or daughters! In “free” societies you see
men sitting with strange women who are half-naked
“enjoying” the scene! They introduce their wives to other
strange men. Mutual looks here and there! Affairs develop and
phone calls are exchanged. “Love affairs” destroys many
families and children suffer most. What kind of “love” is this?
The mixing of sexes and absence of Hijab kills the Gheerah in
men. The eyes “eat up” other men and women! The inner
“justification” is: since I can look they can look. It’s a ” free
choice”!! Few are those who feel anything when they discover
their wives have “affairs”. They become numb!! No dignity !
No honor! The bottom line is that in many societies of this
modern World the animalistic behaviors are becoming very
apparent.
Ali (RAA) said: “It was related to me that you women used to
crowd the Kuffar (disbelieving men) from the non-Arabs in
the markets; don’t you have Cheerah? There is no good in the
one who does not have Gheerah.”
Islam considers Gherrah an integral part of faith .The dignity
of the wife or daughter or any other Muslim woman must be
highly respected and defended.

 

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