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Tag Archives: Funny

Is This Verbal Diarrhea

08 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, Fun, Funny, Heart, History, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage, Nature, Relationship, World, Youth

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 Verbal Diarrhea; Just a bit humorous facts……… 🙂 

Getting all this you guys may enjoy it an please don’t hesitate to laugh though……

For the past few weeks I’ve been reading my mates various magazines that come to that house each month (Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Vogue, Little Gus has a Fashion Magazine addiction, etc) and I came across an article that I found very interesting, and a bit entertaining. It was entitled “The Lies Men Tell”–and it was written by a man.

As I read more, I found it hilarious. It was written with such a matter-of-fact nature, like it’s normal or even acceptable that these common lies pour out of men’s mouth like verbal diarrhea. This article got me thinking about the lies that come out of women’s mouths as well.

There are things we indeed lie to our significant others about in order to spare their feelings, save a conversation from getting too intense, or…just because we have a little bit of verbal outpouring of our own. So, to the men out there– here are the lies they tell.

1. “Size doesn’t matter.”

trust me, it does. The term “it’s not the size that counts but how you use it” was most likely coined by a man who was probably ashamed of his very small parts. Gentleman…yes, size matters. Be logical.

,,,

2. “I LOVE your mom”!

Odds are, we don’t. We can sense that she will never think we are good enough for you, and we can also sense that we’ll never quite measure up to her in your eyes. We may like her, but we have a sense that she’s constantly “judging”.

…

3. “You’re the best I’ve ever had!”

Strictly speaking in regards to actual number of orgasms, you may not be ranked numero uno. But who counts anyway?

,,,

4. “I’ve only slept with __?____ amount of people.”

Add a few numbers to that list. Then, if we really love you, you should add a few more.

,,,

5. “Oh I’ve never done that!”

Odds are we have done it at least once, or we’ve thought about doing it.

,,,

6. “I’ve never felt this way about  anybody before”

… We have. We’ve probably said that to each guy we’ve ever “fell” for. Everything feels the same in the beginning of a relationship.

,,,

7. “I’ve never (kissed, done this, gone home with) a stranger before!”

Sure we have, we just don’t want you to think we’re a slut.

,,,

8. “I’m not looking for a relationship”.

We are. We either don’t think you are good enough, or we think you don’t want one and we don’t want to appear needy.

,,,

9. “I got them on sale”. No we didn’t.

We spent half our rent money on them, but we just don’t want you to know that.

So, women tell little white lies as well. Just like men, they have a certain way we’d like to look and be portrayed, and certain facts from our lives just don’t paint that picture. As for the important stuff—if they love you, and I mean really love you– you’ll know what’s truth and what’s not. And if there’s love, it shouldn’t matter anyway.

Believe me?

,,,

,,,

 

Registered hub on July 11, 2008

51.506577 -0.026095

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Simple men

13 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Fun, Funny, Human, Humor, Uncategorized

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Funny, Humor, Men

Simple Men

zendictive

Alexander and Diogenes

Alexander [the Great] appeared before the Greek leaders in Corinth, they greeted him warmly and paid him lavish compliments- all of them, that is but one. A funny fellow, a philosopher named Diogenes. He had views not unlike those of the Buddha. According to him, possessions and all the things we think we need only serve to distract us and get in the way of our simple enjoyment of life. So he had given away everything he owned and now sat, almost naked, in a barrel in the market square in Corinth where he lived, free and independent like a stray dog.

Curious to meet this strange fellow, Alexander went to call on him. Dressed in shining armour, the plume on his helmet waving in the breeze, he walked up to the barrel and said to Diogenes: ‘I like you. Let me know your wish and I…

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Scotsman Walking

06 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Culture, English, Feelings, Fun, Funny, History, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Power, Relationship, Uncategorized, World, Youth

≈ 14 Comments

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A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

The Scotsman man shouts ‘ Awa
ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn’
(Don’t drink the water, it’s full of cow s ** t.)

The man shouts back ‘I’m English, Speak English, I don’t understand you’.

The Scotsman man shouts back ‘Use both hands, you’ll get more in.

51.500152 -0.126236

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Hamster At War

16 Sunday Oct 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Children, Funny, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Uncategorized, World, Youth

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Children, Funny, Human, Jokes, Jokes Of The Day, war

this is good lolzzzzzz

Nature Turning Against Mankind

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Don’t Ask? Don’t Yell?

15 Saturday Oct 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Children, Funny, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Nature, Relationship, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World, Youth

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Have you got any question son?

Nature Turning Against Mankind

As a young adult, I once heard someone say that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” This came as a great surprise to me, because not so many years earlier, stupid questions had been quite common. In fact, my parents had pretty much convinced me that I was a natural spring of inane and idiotic inquiries, a bubbling fountain of foolishness. If there had been no such thing as a stupid question, I could have surely been granted a patent for one.

According to my hazy and frequently inaccurate memory, my parents didn’t handle this particular character trait with a great deal of patience. They may have tried. I like to think they did, at least at first. But I eventually wore them down to throbbing nerve endings, then pushed them close to the edge of their sanity. As they often reminded me, I drove them crazy.

But…

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A Poor Subsitute

15 Saturday Oct 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Funny, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Pics, Uncategorized

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Funny, Humor, Jokes

Well done son, keep it up

Nature Turning Against Mankind

Sometimes I picture myself in situations in which I don’t belong, situations that require a level of knowledge or skill that I don’t possess. Situations, in short, that would leave me flat on my face, and pretty much everyone hating me.

It isn’t that I’m wishing to be in such predicaments. I’m actually fantasizing about the horror, similar in a way to the brief and exhilarating moment of panic I feel when standing on top of a tall building, or at the railing of a bridge. If I were to lose my mind for just three seconds, I think, I could be plummeting to certain death.

These are insane thoughts, I realize, but they’re followed by a delicious sense of relief. It’s that terrible possibility butting right up against a much better reality — and experiencing the distinction under my skin — that makes the exercise worthwhile.

Besides, no one…

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True Origin Of Pizza

12 Wednesday Oct 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Children, Culture, Funny, History, Human, Humor, Life, Love, Power, Uncategorized, Videos, World, Youth

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Culture, Food, Funny, History, Korea, Pizza

The Origin Indeed, only a hypocritical view will deny the fact and reality.

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Angry Lady

18 Thursday Aug 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Life, Love, Uncategorized, Youth

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Anger, Funny, Humor, Husband, Joke, Life, Love, Wife


Kill husband

A lady walks into a pharmacy and asks the
pharmacist for some arsenic.

The pharmacist asks “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic……
The lady says “To kill my husband.”

“I can’t sell you any for that reason,” says the pharmacist.

The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacist’s wife.

He looks at the photo and says Oh, pardon me, I didn’t realize you had a prescription.

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Bad Romance Parody

29 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in English, Funny, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Music, Songs, Uncategorized, Videos

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Arts, Bad Romance, Bad Romance Parody, Funny, Humor, Joke, Lady Gaga, Music, Music Video, Music Videos, New York, Romantic Song, Simpsons, Taylor Kinney, Vampire Diaries, Video, Videos, Woman, Women, World, Youth, YouTube

Related articles
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  • Lady Gaga to Appear on ‘The Simpsons’, and UK Band Wild Beasts De-Twang Gaga’s ‘Yoü and I’: LISTEN (towleroad.com)
  • Porn Parody Round-Up of the Day (tease.thedailywh.at)
  • It’s Hump Day! Make a Parody Porn! (slog.thestranger.com)
  • Lady Gaga Albums (mademan.com)
  • Lady Gaga may front Queen (muzicmagazine.com)
  • Lady Gaga Spotted With New Boyfriend Taylor Kinney (huffingtonpost.com)
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