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Tag Archives: Friends

The Question Is, Can Men And Women Really Just Be Friends?

25 Saturday Feb 2012

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Anger, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, Fun, Funny, God, Health, Heart, History, Human, Humor, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Peace, Pics, Power, Quotes, Relationship, Sufi's, Videos, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 205 Comments

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Anger, Beauty, Can Men And Women Really Just Be Friends?, Current Issues, Friends, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Husband, Life, Love, Men, Recomendations, Relationship, The Question Is, Use It Or Abuse It, Videos, Wife, Wisdom, Women, World, Youth

Very much like the relationships between men and women now. The conventions were different, but the essence of the relationships is the same. Some people are dominating and some are more retiring. Shakespeare shows us all kinds of couples. Couples which involve a strong man and a weaker woman are Othello and Desdemona, Demetrius and Helena, and Hamlet and Ophelia. Couples with a strong woman and a weak man include Helena and Bertram, Lady Macbeth and Macbeth, Goneril and Albany, Phoebe and Silvius, and Portia and Bassanio. Couples where both are strong include Beatrice and Benedick, Antony and Cleopatra and Petruchio and Katharine. Hero and Claudio both are weak. Shakespeare would not have shown us this broad array of different relationships had the reality of his world been as monochromatic as some would like us to believe.

As we follow our gut instincts sometimes, as if we struck with an idea about doing a repetitive rubbish in an entirely new way. We are not as restrained by our old habits now, as it empowering us to analyze our methods in a different light. I thought, we won’t ever know unless you give it a try. Even if I am not immediately successful, don’t give up; success may require multiple attempts before you get it just right. We all do our cockups time to time… We should remind ourselves that “patience is virtue”.

The phrase “patience is a virtue” is just a way of expressing the importance of being patient. A virtue is a trait or quality deemed to be morally excellent and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Patience can make us better people. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay implying self control and forbearance. When we say “patience is a virtue” we are exposing our moral values and expressing the importance of patience as a foundation of principle. So to answer the question patience is not a virtue until it truly becomes a virtue and knowing how diverse the spectrum of individualism is I’m sure patience is a vice (opposite of virtue) to some. Patience is a necessity for a happy existence and that is why the phrase is so often used. 

Came across an article and as I read which is written by Mamelody. And I asked myself the question, can men and women really just be friend? This is probably one of the most challenging aspects of human interaction. According to     survey conducted by the American Institute of Society Studies (AISS) it found that almost 98% of people who participated in that survey believe it is impossible for a man and woman to have a plutonic friendship without other factors being involved.

Take for instance my friend Jack Herness, a real estate broker. He has just been divorced after a three year marriage and he says that one of reasons to that was his friendship with women. “When I was dating my wife I made it clear to her that the majority of my friends were female. She accepted this in the beginning but gradually she could no longer control her jealousy to the point where she even fumed when I hugged my own sister,” he says. “I grew up in a house of women. I have four sisters, and I’m the last born and only son. My dad died when I was three so I was raised by my mother and sisters. All of my life my best friends have been girls.”

The fact is relationships between men and women are becoming complicated every day. It is normally impossible to imagine being friends with a member of the opposite without one factor in particular getting in the way – SEX!- Oscar Wilde puts this brilliantly from Lady Windermere’s Fan, which says, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

Is culture reflecting reality?

Is it impossible for men to be friends with women, especially those they find attractive?

Statistics from the AISS also found that it is much easier for a woman to befriend a man with no sexual innuendo than it is for a man to be friends with a woman. Now being friends is not only about the sex, it also depends on other factors such as similarities in interests and hobbies, the level of communication and a deep understanding of one another.

“I do honestly agree that men and women cannot be friends, in the long run “says Carlos Hernandez, a relationship expert and coach.

“I met a wonderful lady about 27 years ago and we were great friends for like 13 years.  We did everything best friends do but deep down my heart I was attracted to her madly. So many times I wanted to just grab her and make passionate love to her but I respected our friendship so I controlled myself for 13 years. After we both suffered divorces we went out one day on our usual outings and we had a little too much to drink. We made hot passionate love and today she is my wonderful wife and I always regret the years we wasted as just friends.”

In reality, men and women need to be friends in order for anything else to take place. A relationship that is not based on friendship is doomed to fail.  That being said it is never easy to maintain a friendship with a member of the opposite sex but it can be done.   Most people who find themselves in situations like these where their partners are good friends with a member of the opposite sex, tend to develop insecurities which ultimately lead to the destruction of their relationships.

Mandy Goldberg, a senior nurse at St Jude’s hospital in Milwaukee begs to differ.

“I have a couple of very close relationships with women as well, though my closest platonic relationships are with men. My husband fully supports me and understands this and so he never sees the need to feel insecure,” she says.

“The trick to maintaining a healthy friendship with a member of the opposite sex is to be open about it to your partner, and make sure your partner is friends with them too, that way there will be no room for fidelity of any sort.”

Now what if you have been intimate with someone, will it be possible for you to just be friends? “Definitely not,” says Mike Dobson, an Airport Engineer.

“After intimacy the friendship line has been crossed. I did make the mistake of sleeping with my best friend who was girl and after that it was impossible to just be friends after I tasted the physical side.”

In conclusion, in the words of When Harry met Sally, Harry tells Sally “what I’m saying is –and this not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

,,,

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,,,

51.506577 -0.026095

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Life Is Simple

08 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, God, Heart, History, Human, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Pics, Power, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Relationship, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 17 Comments

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Allah, Beauty, Fake, Friends, Friendship, God, Hate, History, Human, Husband, Islam, Life, Love, Man, Nature, Peace, People, Relationship, Wife, Wisdom, Woman, World, Youth

Sometimes it’s a good thing to have fake people in this world. It helps you find out who your real friends are.

51.500152 -0.126236

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Between You, Me And Birds Of Paradise

05 Saturday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Beauty, Children, Culture, Feelings, God, Hadith, Health, Heart, History, Human, Islam, Life, Lord, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Photographs, Pics, Power, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Qura'n, Relationship, Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 13 Comments

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Allah, Angels, Beauty, Friends, God, Hadiths, Husband, Imam Ali, Islam, Life, Lord, Love, Men, Muslims, Qura'n, Relationship, Types Of Friends, Wife, Women

Between You, Me And Birds Of Paradise

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World Of Lies And Broken Promises 01

24 Saturday Sep 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Beauty, Children, Culture, Feelings, Health, Heart, Human, Humor, Life, Love, Nature, Peace, Politics, Power, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Relationship, Sufi's, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 14 Comments

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Africa, Anger, Art, Australia, Beauty, Brain, Brain drain, Cardiff, Comedy, Developing country, Friends, Hate, Heart, Human, Immigration, Just A Rant..., Life, Love, Lovers, Man, New Zealand, Peace, Programs, Quotes, Recomendations, Relationship, RELATIONSHIPS, Sitcoms, Television, Uncategorized, United States, war, Wars, Women, World, Youth

Welcome to the world;  

where people talk about each other,

AND EVERONE LIES

and every one tries to be

SOMETHING THEY’RE NOT,

and nobody can keep a secret, 

AND FRIENSHIPS THAT SO CALLED FOREVER FRIENDS WERE BROKEN, 

which I called friends of convenience, 

YEAH; WELL 

its called fucked up BRAINS with PATHETIC THOUGHTS of 

brain drain LIFE.

Grow UP and have a LIFE instead becoming a waste which can’t be recycled.

HAHAHA Fucked up globe; and I Live here don’t know why?

Related articles
  • The Lies We Tell Our Children (and Ourselves) (blogher.com)
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Story Begins, Is It Such A Sin

24 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Anger, Beauty, God, Heart, Human, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Nature, Peace, Relationship, Sufi's, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Anger, Cry, Death, Friends, Happiness, Hate, Heaven, Life, Love, Men, Poetry, Relationship, Sadness, Sin, Story, Tears, Women, World


Before the story begins, is it such a sin

For me to take what’s mine until the end of time?
We were more than friends before the story ends
And I will take what’s mine, create what God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long
I was weak with fear that something would go wrong
Before the possibilities came true I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears, conjuring her deepest fears

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times
I can’t believe it
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes
Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it

She was never this good in bed even when she was sleeping
Now she’s just so perfect, I’ve never been quite so fucking deep in
It goes on and on, and on, I can keep you looking young
And preserved forever with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever

Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that’s why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it’s not your time but bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it’s over but it’s just begun, baby don’t cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime
We fell apart, let’s make a new start
Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime, but baby, don’t cry

Now possibilities I’d never considered
Are occurring the likes of which I’d never heard
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave
To repossess a body with which I’d misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Now that it’s done, I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize
From somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I’ve done
Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
While you burned in hell, no peace forever

You had my heart at least for the most part
Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime
We fell apart, let?s make a new start
Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime, but baby, don’t cry

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough?)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I’ll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I? ll break you unchained)

And if it’s not enough
(If it’s not enough, if it’s not enough)
If it’s not enough
(Not enough)
Try again,
Try again,
And again
And again
Over and over again

We’re coming back, coming back
We’ll live forever, live forever
Let’s have a wedding, have a wedding
Let’s start the killing, start the killing

You had my heart at least for the most part
Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime
We fell apart, let’s make a new start
Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime, but baby, don’t cry

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Seizing My Life In Your Hands, You Thrashed Me Clean

03 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Beauty, Islam, Life, Love, Poetry, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Air (visual novel), Arts, Beauty, Eternal Mind, Friends, Friendship, God, Happiness, Hate, Heaven, Islam, Joy, Konya, Life, Love, Men, Passion, Poetry, Relationship, religion, Romance, Soul, Soul music, Sufi's, Sun, Sword, Truth, United States, Women

Seizing my life in your hands, you thrashed me clean
On savage rocks of eternal mind.
How its colors bled, until they grew white!
You smile and sit back: I dry in your sun.

The Sea boils with passion for you,
The clouds pour pearls at your feet
A lightning from your love has pierced the earth
This smoke curling to heaven is its child.

We were green: we ripened and grew golden.
The Sea terrified us: we learned how to drown.
Squat and earth bound, we unfolded huge wings.
We started sober: are love’s startled drunkards.

You hide me in your cloak of nothingness
Reflect my ghost in your glass of being
I am nothing, yet appear: transparent dream
Where your eternity briefly trembles.

This love sacrifices all souls, however wise, however “awakened”
Cuts off their heads without a sword, hangs them without a scaffold.
We are the guests of the one who devours his guests
The friends of the one who slaughters his friends….
Although by his gaze he brings death to so many lovers
Let yourself be killed by him: is he not the water of life?
Never, ever, grow bitter: he is the friend and kills gently.
Keep your heart noble, for this most noble love
Kills only kings near God and men free from passion.
We are like the night, earth’s shadow.
He is the Sun: He splits open the night with a sword soaked in dawn….

The man to whom is unveiled the myster of Love
Exists no longer, but vanishes into love.
Place before the Sun a burning candle
And watch its brilliance disappear before that blaze,
The candle exists no longer, it is transformed into Light,
There are no more signs of it, it itself becomes sign….

You are my soul, my universe: what do I have to do with the soul and the universe?
For me you are ever-flowing treasure: what do I have to do with profit and loss?
One minute, I am the friend of the wine, another the friend of him who burns me.
I have come to this age of ruins, so what do I have to do with time’s melodrama?
I am terrified by the whole world, I am sprung free of the whole world,
I am neither “hidden” no “apparent.” What do I have to do with existence or space?
I am drunk on union with you, I need and want and care about no one else.
Since I am your prey, what do I care about fate’s bow and its arrows?
I live at the bottom of the stream, why would I go looking for water?
What could or would I say about this stream that flows and flows?
I have given up existence, why go on staggering under the burden of this mountain?
Since the wolf is my shepherd, why put up with the pretensions of the shepherd?
What abandon! What drunkenness! You hold the cup in you hand
Blessed is the place you are, and glorious to the eye of the heart.
Each atom, by your grace, is a universe, each drop of water a soul.
No one who has ever had a sign from you need worry again about “name” or “sign.”
To find the place of splendor, at the bottom of the Sea of truths
You have to dive, dive head first: what do I have to do with feet that scurry?
With the sword of the One God you have hacked a Path for us:
You have stolen all my clothes: What will I give to the toll-man?
From your beauty ablaze like the sun, from the curls of your hair,
My heart has become ecstatic: O my soul, hand me this brimming cup,
Do not weigh pain and misery, contemplate love, contemplate friendship:
Do not mull over tyranny and neglect: think of all those who have their eyes fixed on you.
Surname all grief ‘grace’: transmute pain and anguish into joy
And ask from joy all happiness, all security, all peace.
Demand that security, that peace, demand them,
Choose the company of those withdrawn in love
Listen to those who open a path to you: listen, and don’t say a word.

Glorious is the moment we sit in the palace, you and I
Two forms, two faces, but a single soul, you and I
The flowers will blaze and bird cries shower us with immortality
The moment we enter the garden, you and I
All the stars of heaven will run out to gaze at us
As we burn as the full moon itself, you and I
The fire winged birds of heaven will rage with envy
In that place we laugh ecstatically, you and I
What a miracle, you and I, entwined in the same nest
While I am here in Konya, and you are in Khorassan
What a miracle, you and I, one love, one lover, one Fire
In this world and the next, in an ecstasy without end.

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  • Seizing My Life In Your Hands, You Thrashed Me Clean (justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com)
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Relations

08 Friday Jul 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Beauty, Life, Love, Marriage, Quotes, Uncategorized, Wars, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Animal, Arts, Beauty, Dog, DVD, Friends, God, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Life, Love, Man, Men, Online Writing, Poetry, Pure Love, Relationship, RELATIONSHIPS, Romance, Style of Biting, Uncategorized, war, Wisdom, Women, World

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their . . . relations.

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