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Tag Archives: Humor

Being A Jasmine is A Struggle

16 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Beauty, Education, Feelings, Humor, Life, Love, Youth

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Beauty, Education, Heart, Humor, Life, Love, Women, World

Being A Jasmine is A Struggle

jasmine and alladin

“Arab, huh…that’s pretty exotic!”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

“Are you sure you’re Arab? You don’t look Arab…”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Um, white folks, you may have forgotten, but you colonized the shit out of the Middle East (still kinda do). We come in all different shapes and sizes.

You ALWAYS get “randomly selected” for extra screening by the TSA.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Pulling an old white woman aside for extra screening doesn’t pardon your racism.

Who is this diet you speak of?

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Food is our first love. Mensaf. All day, err day bruh!

You feel obliged to give a disclaimer when you start dating someone new.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

I’m sure it’s a lovely restaurant but it’s in my uncle’s neighborhood. Lets go somewhere else…perhaps another city?

“Oh that’s interesting that you go to school. Your family is ok with it?”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

When you bring friends home you have to give them a mini orientation about your family’s unusual…rituals.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Baba, can you please stop yelling at the TV, you’re scaring Tiffany!

People assume you’re Muslim by default…

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

NEWS FLASH: We’re not all Muslim! We’re Christians, Jews, Atheists, and Beliebers. Get it straight.

Your siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, their spouses, and offspring have the capacity to populate an entire village.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

As an Arab girl you get categorized into one of two groups, you’re either a Haifa:

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Or a Nancy.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

When your grandmother calls – you answer reluctantly.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Hey Teta, I just got a new job!

“If you loved me you’d get married, yalla…I’m going to die soon!”

We share an unspoken language with other Arab women.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

A three second gaze can translate to: Yeah we should go soon, I’m down for pizza after. The score is 4-1. They say it’s going to rain tomorrow. Can I borrow that top? Of course I recorded Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.

Your parents typically have nothing nice to say about you…unless it’s to other people.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

“My daughter had a full scholarship to study abroad and now she works at the top firm in the state.”

During your college years you had the luxury of using the library as a cover for just about everything.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

I hope my mom isn’t reading this.

“Girl, why are you so conservative?”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

It’s called class.

You get called awiya for speaking up.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Brains, beauty, and sass. BOOM bitch!

Western media has fooled the world into thinking we’re oppressed.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Don’t believe everything you read, except this post…everything I wrote has been scientifically proven*

*This post has not been reviewed by any scientist

When your aunt tells you there’s an ‘3arees’, you’re secretly lightweight curious.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

He doesn’t sound like a complete loser…All right, I’m listening.

But after you meet said 3arees you feel the need to pay your aunt a visit

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Every birthday some jerk-off relative has to suggest that you’re ‘expired’.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

“You’re running out of eggs…When I was your age, I already had five kids.”

Don’t you have a cliff to drive off of?

You give people a simpler way of pronouncing your name but they insist on pronouncing it the ‘ethnic way’.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

“Speak in Arabic…it sounds so sexy!”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

ye3lan youm eli shoftak fi.

“Sooo how do you feel about America?”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

That’s like asking us how do we feel about pie. We love pie. Who doesn’t love pie?! End of discussion.

When you attend weddings, you’re hit with waves of “you’re next!”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

At any given moment a stranger will approach you and ask if you’re blah blah’s daughter

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

“I remember you when you were this little!!”

You must feel honored.

When you were younger, going out used to be more agonizing than going to the DMV.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

“I don’t know if you can go out. Ask your dad, ma khasne.”

“So when are you going to show me some belly dancing moves?”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

You, sir, are out of pocket.

“My friend is Arab — maybe you know them!”

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Don’t assume we know all Arabs…although I probably do.

Being asked our opinion on the Arab Spring, Palestine/Israel conflict, Iraq War…

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Do you have 17 hours to spare? It’s not exactly small talk.

You take advantage of people’s lack of knowledge of the Middle East and tell people you’re somebody important whenever the opportunity presents itself.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Because what the fuck do they know?

Your mom has tricked you into revealing secret information when reading your fortune in cup of coffee.

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

Shit.

But at the end of the day, we have our habibis and our hummus and we wouldn’t trade them for the world!

30 Struggles Of Being An Arab Girl

,,,
http://www.buzzfeed.com/samaraburahma/31-things-only-arab-girls-understand-snmr

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Some Seriously Useful Products In The Japanese Market

17 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Humor, World

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Arts and Entertainment, Asia, Globalization, Humor, Japan, Japanese, Japanese cuisine, Japanese language, Japanese people

Some Seriously Useful Products In The Japanese Market

The Tale Of Humoural Medicine

Some Seriously Useful Products In The Japanese Market

Hearing aids to hear what people say behind your back

Banana keeper to prevent squished bananas at the bottom of your bag

Pillow for those who are alone

This will help you to avoid putting your chin on your hand at work

Poop you can eat

Eyes for your eyes. You won’t get caught sleeping at work

Anti-wrinkles mouth exerciser

Jeans underpants

To hold your hair back when you eat noodles

The baby mop

Used panties vending machine

The lap pillow

Sleep stand

Multi-clipper

Wash your clothes while you walk

Toilet paper hat

Dictionary desk pillow

Easy butter-grinder

Photograph yourself arm

Lipstick assistant

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Proof of The Doomed Society

28 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Culture, Feelings, History, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Pics, Relationship, World, Youth

≈ 46 Comments

Tags

Current Issues, Humor, Life, Men, Proof of The Doomed Society, Relationship, Women, World, Youth

Proof of The Doomed Society;

1. This picture of old friends reminiscing about the good old days over a delicious brunch:

enhanced-buzz-3832-1371655608-27

2. This adorable picture of star-crossed lovers meeting for the first time:

This adorable picture of star-crossed lovers meeting for the first time:

Via: empoweredteensandparents.com

3. This picture of graduating seniors leaving high school for the last time, finally free from the shackles of standardized education:

This picture of graduating seniors leaving high school for the last time, finally free from the shackles of standardized education:

Via: betabeat.com

4. This inspiring picture of fans rooting for their team at the big game:

This inspiring picture of fans rooting for their team at the big game:

Via: umhoops.com

5. This picture of friends enjoying a delicious Brooklyn pizza:

This picture of friends enjoying a delicious Brooklyn pizza:

Via: picsofaznstakingpicsoffood.tumblr.com

6. This picture of a wonderful family giving thanks for all their blessings at Thanksgiving dinner:

This picture of a wonderful family giving thanks for all their blessings at Thanksgiving dinner:

Via: runt-of-the-web.com

7. This picture of best friends heading off on a life-changing road trip across the continental United States:

This picture of best friends heading off on a life-changing road trip across the continental United States:

Via: cleverbirdbanter.com

8. This picture of teens enjoying their last summer vacation, one that will no doubt change their lives:

This picture of teens enjoying their last summer vacation, one that will no doubt change their lives:

Via: community.woodmagazine.com

9. This picture of friends discussing the intricacies of love, life, and everything in between over fine wine:

This picture of friends discussing the intricacies of love, life, and everything in between over fine wine:

Via: joyerickson.wordpress.com

10. This heart-wrenching picture of brother and sister reuniting after a decade apart:

This heart-wrenching picture of brother and sister reuniting after a decade apart:

Via: 98kool.com

11. This picture of museumgoers seeing the beautiful paintings of Thomas Cole for the first time, the sort of paintings that bring a tear to one’s eye:

This picture of museumgoers seeing the beautiful paintings of Thomas Cole for the first time, the sort of paintings that bring a tear to one's eye:

Via: carrotsbridgeshorizons.wordpress.com

12. This picture of friends getting a little wild while tailgating at the ‘Niners game:

This picture of friends getting a little wild while tailgating at the 'Niners game:

Via: saketvora.com

13. This picture of eager moviegoers itching to see this summer’s hottest blockbuster:

This picture of eager moviegoers itching to see this summer's hottest blockbuster:

Via: articles.latimes.com

14. This picture of a friendly teen capturing a moment he never wanted to forget:

This picture of a friendly teen capturing a moment he never wanted to forget:

Via: heartless.tumblr.com

15. This picture of friends getting a bit wild at a birthday party:

This picture of friends getting a bit wild at a birthday party:

Via: breathe-out.com

16. This heartwarming picture taken mere seconds before the man on the right proposed to his girlfriend:

This heartwarming picture taken mere seconds before the man on the right proposed to his girlfriend:

Via: singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg

17. This picture of a nice young lady taking a new photo for her United States passport:

This picture of a nice young lady taking a new photo for her United States passport:

Via: uncoached.com

18. This picture showing young love in its purest, simplest form:

This picture showing young love in its purest, simplest form:

Via: businessinsider.com

19. This picture of the girls watching the exciting conclusion of Pretty Little Liars:

This picture of the girls watching the exciting conclusion of Pretty Little Liars :

And eating eggs, apparently.

Via: runt-of-the-web.com

20. This picture of best friends enjoying a delicious burger and a coffee:

This picture of best friends enjoying a delicious burger and a coffee:

Via: runt-of-the-web.com

21. This touching photo showing the difficulty — and the reward — of parenthood:

This touching photo showing the difficulty — and the reward — of parenthood:

Via: parentsonphones.tumblr.com

22. This picture of a young man viewing the sunset the way it was meant to be viewed — through a tiny screen:

This picture of a young man viewing the sunset the way it was meant to be viewed — through a tiny screen:

Via: flickr.com

23. And this adorable photo of a baby logging into her very first social network account:

And this adorable photo of a baby logging into her very first social network account:

Via: runt-of-the-web.com
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Life of Men with Cats

22 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Feelings, Heart, Human, Humor, Life, Relationship, World, Youth

≈ 59 Comments

Tags

Cats, Happiness, Human, Humor, Life, Love, Men, Relationship, World

Wow… speechless..

Just posting for some humor let see what you say….. hahahaaaaaaaaa

 

 

Have a great weekend everyone…… 🙂
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Is This Verbal Diarrhea

08 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, Fun, Funny, Heart, History, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage, Nature, Relationship, World, Youth

≈ 73 Comments

Tags

Anger, Beauty, Current Issues, Funny, God, Hate, Heart, Human, Humor, Is This Verbal Diarrhea, Jokes, Life, Love, Men, Recomendations, Relationship, Wife, Women, World, Youth

 Verbal Diarrhea; Just a bit humorous facts……… 🙂 

Getting all this you guys may enjoy it an please don’t hesitate to laugh though……

For the past few weeks I’ve been reading my mates various magazines that come to that house each month (Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Vogue, Little Gus has a Fashion Magazine addiction, etc) and I came across an article that I found very interesting, and a bit entertaining. It was entitled “The Lies Men Tell”–and it was written by a man.

As I read more, I found it hilarious. It was written with such a matter-of-fact nature, like it’s normal or even acceptable that these common lies pour out of men’s mouth like verbal diarrhea. This article got me thinking about the lies that come out of women’s mouths as well.

There are things we indeed lie to our significant others about in order to spare their feelings, save a conversation from getting too intense, or…just because we have a little bit of verbal outpouring of our own. So, to the men out there– here are the lies they tell.

1. “Size doesn’t matter.”

trust me, it does. The term “it’s not the size that counts but how you use it” was most likely coined by a man who was probably ashamed of his very small parts. Gentleman…yes, size matters. Be logical.

,,,

2. “I LOVE your mom”!

Odds are, we don’t. We can sense that she will never think we are good enough for you, and we can also sense that we’ll never quite measure up to her in your eyes. We may like her, but we have a sense that she’s constantly “judging”.

…

3. “You’re the best I’ve ever had!”

Strictly speaking in regards to actual number of orgasms, you may not be ranked numero uno. But who counts anyway?

,,,

4. “I’ve only slept with __?____ amount of people.”

Add a few numbers to that list. Then, if we really love you, you should add a few more.

,,,

5. “Oh I’ve never done that!”

Odds are we have done it at least once, or we’ve thought about doing it.

,,,

6. “I’ve never felt this way about  anybody before”

… We have. We’ve probably said that to each guy we’ve ever “fell” for. Everything feels the same in the beginning of a relationship.

,,,

7. “I’ve never (kissed, done this, gone home with) a stranger before!”

Sure we have, we just don’t want you to think we’re a slut.

,,,

8. “I’m not looking for a relationship”.

We are. We either don’t think you are good enough, or we think you don’t want one and we don’t want to appear needy.

,,,

9. “I got them on sale”. No we didn’t.

We spent half our rent money on them, but we just don’t want you to know that.

So, women tell little white lies as well. Just like men, they have a certain way we’d like to look and be portrayed, and certain facts from our lives just don’t paint that picture. As for the important stuff—if they love you, and I mean really love you– you’ll know what’s truth and what’s not. And if there’s love, it shouldn’t matter anyway.

Believe me?

,,,

,,,

 

Registered hub on July 11, 2008

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Rabbit Season

11 Wednesday Apr 2012

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, God, Heart, History, Human, Humor, Life, Love, Nature, Pics, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Relationship, Sufi's, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 59 Comments

Tags

Fact, Humor, Love, Men, Quotes, Rabbit Chaser, Relationship, Stupidity, Time Waster, Wisdom, Women, World

There’s a wise Zen saying;

The fact is,

If you chase two rabbits,

You will not catch either one.

Perhaps,

One is ……… ?

You better watch out ……… 🙂

And

Don’t let the past haunt you

And

Steal your present precious moments…. !

xxx

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A F**king GOODYEAR

08 Sunday Jan 2012

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Beauty, Fun, Funny, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Pics, Uncategorized, World, Youth

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

Heart, Humor, Jokes, Jokes Of The Day, Life, Love, Men, Poetry, Recomendations, Relationship, Wife, Women, World, Youth



I Says… If you had sex every day for a year, kept all 365 condoms, melted ’em down and made a tire out of the rubber, what would u call it?… A FUCKING GOODYEAR

51.506577 -0.026095

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All That She Wants…. And She Don’t Care If It’s A Monkey

15 Thursday Dec 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Angels, Animals, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, Fun, Funny, God, Heart, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Lord, Love, Marriage, Muslims, Nature, Peace, Pics, Power, Quote Of The Day, Quotes, Relationship, Safety, Song Of The Century, Songs, Uncategorized, Videos, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 52 Comments

Tags

All That She Wants, Allah, Anger, Arts, Beauty, Current Issues, Death, English Poetry, God, Happiness, Heart, Human, Humor, Husband, Jokes, Jokes Of The Day, Life, Lord, Love, LOVE SONGS, Lovers, Man, Marriage, Men, Music, Music Video, Peace, Poetry, Quotes, Qura'n and Hadiths, Recomendations, Relationship, religion, She Don't Care If It's A Monkey, Song Of The Century, Songs, Sufi's, Uncategorized, Video, Videos, Wife, Wisdom, Woman, Women, World, Youth

(^-^)

Hmmm, this post is all that she wants;

Not like the kind in the above picture though, as that monkey is or, and or has some kind of fruit smeared all over its face. She would want a  monkey like me.

Obviously having her own monkey would be fantastic for a whole host of reasons and as we are quite intelligent, yet unable to speak, we learn quickly through love, and care but not beatings while being learning.

Which one of you wish that your monkey should be fun like me….. :p

Disguised Monkey

English: Baby ginger monkey

If I had a monkey, I would borrow my mums sewing machine and make my monkey a little monkey suit. Then if anyone said “Thats not a real monkey, it’s just a monkey suit, I can see the zipper”, I could say “I bet you fifty dollars it is a real monkey” and when they said “that seems like a reasonable bet, you are on”, my monkey would take off the monkey suit and they would have to pay me fifty dollars. I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. For the monkey. So he wouldn’t mind spending his life in a monkey suit.

Gambling Monkey

English: Dustin Hoffman at the Cannes Film Fes...

If I had a monkey, I would teach him to count cards like Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rainman and sneak my monkey into the casino. If anyone said “Hey a monkey, who’s monkey is that?” I would say “It’s not my monkey”.

Singing Monkey

Image created of Kylie Minogue during the Show...

If I had a monkey, I would teach it to sing Kylie Minogue songs. Then if Kylie passed out on stage again I would be able to save the day by having my monkey finish the concert for her. The concert promotors would probably give me free tickets and promotional gifts. Kylie would be so thankful that she might send me an autographed photo and I could sell it on ebay for fifty dollars. I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. Not for the monkey, for me.

Paddling Monkey

English: Crab-eating Macaque (Macaca fascicula...

If I had a monkey, I would teach it how to use a paddle. The next time I went kayaking I would be able to relax and enjoy the scenery while my monkey navigated the river. Also, the last time I went kayaking I was listening to my ipod and I fell asleep and got sunburnt and the current took me way up the river before I awoke when the kayak hit a tree branch and I had to paddle all the way back. Having a paddling monkey would prevent this ever happening again so really it is a water-safety issue and should be encouraged.

Channel Changing Monkey

English: Saimiri sciureus. Français : Saimiri ...

If I had a monkey, I would teach it how to use all the entertainment equipment. I would save money on batteries for the remote controls by having my monkey change channels for me. With the money I saved on batteries I would buy drugs. I would share the drugs with the monkey while we watched Black Books and Stephen Chow movies together.

Hairdressing Monkey

English: Common Marmoset (Callithrix jacchus) ...

If I had a monkey, I would teach him how to do my hair – using the appropriate amount of product. I would then set the alarm for him to get up half an hour before I do and do my hair while I am still asleep. This would either give me more time in the morning or allow me to spend more time sleeping. I would just waste the extra half hour anyway so probably better to sleep but as I usually don’t rock up to work till ten thirty or so, I could try leaving earlier. This would give me more time to write about what I would do if I had a monkey.

Surveilance Monkey

Crab-eating macaque (Macaca fascicularis) in L...

If I had a monkey, I would teach it to track down people who annoy me by using their profile photo and google maps. Using earpieces to communicate, I would have my monkey conceal himself behind the person typing on facesook® and when that person wrote something stupid I would have my monkey run up and slap them on the back of the head really hard then make a quick escape. Having several monkeys would be more convenient but I don’t have time to train seven monkeys, what with having to do my own hair in the mornings.

5 Fun Things to do with a Monkey

Monkeys!

1. Constructing and flying box kites
2. eyetoy
3. Running down sand dunes
4. Playing Connect 4
5. Dressups

Web Monkey

English: Cercocebus atys lunulatus.

If I had a monkey, I would name it Brendon. I would shave the monkey and buy a yellow shirt for it and teach it to write inane posts on the Australian wall. Occasionally I would burn the monkey with a cigarette lighter but not to cause enough damage to detract it from it’s primary goal; impersonating a retard.

Sex with Monkeys

(De Brazza's Monkey) taken at the Los Angeles Zoo

If a woman had sex with a monkey, getting pregnant and giving birth, we would be able see what mans early ancestors really looked like and include actual photographs in scientific volumes dealing with Neanderthal man. Due to the mixing of species, it might not be possible to produce offspring or it might be more likely if a man had sex with a female monkey but this would be much less fun to watch. Due to father/mother percentage variations we would probably need about 50 women to do it to get an average. We could put the babies on an island with hidden cameras and see if they invent the wheel and discover fire. Call it Monkey Island and sell series rights. Another bonus would be enough actors to produce footage that would make the opening scenes from ‘2001 A Space Odyssey’ look like a primary school play. I would call mine Manky as it is a cross between man and monkey and I would teach him to love.

Ceramic Monkey

English: Simian statue at a Tokyo shrine. Phot...

If I had a monkey, I would name it Thomas and use it for scientific research. I would then publish my findings in a journal titled “Monkey Vs Electricity”. With the proceeds from the sale of this publication, I would buy a potters wheel and kiln and produce my own range of contemporary, modern living, statues of monkeys. I could make a cast of my dead monkey and use it to produce to-scale ceramic monkeys. I would design a sticker stating that part proceeds go to Greenpeace but would keep all the money for myself. With the money, I would buy drugs and spend my days stoned, listening to music and turning pots.

,,,

,,,

Related articles
  • All That She Wants…. And She Don’t Care If It’s A Monkey (justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com)
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Riddles

04 Sunday Dec 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Allah, Beauty, Children, Culture, Feelings, Fun, Funny, God, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Life, Lord, Nature, Peace, Quotes, Relationship, Safety, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World, Youth

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Allah, Anger, Beauty, God, Happiness, Heart, Human, Humor, Jokes, Jokes Of The Day, Life, Lord, Love, Man, Men, Recomendations, Relationship, Riddles, Uncategorized, Wisdom, Woman, Women, World, Youth

Riddles

Thoughts Of Life Experience

SINGLE MEN
Riddle:
Four men were in a boat on a lake.
The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake,
yet not a single man got wet!
Why?
Clue:
Don’t think too much.
Answer:
They were all married not single.

THE SAME TEA
Riddle:


A woman was horrified to find a fly in her tea.
The waiter took her cup and went into the kitchen and returned with a fresh cup of tea.
She shouted, “You brought back the same tea!”.
How did she know?
Clue:
Sugar
Answer:
She had put sugar in it before and when she tasted it was already sweet.

MOUTH THAT NEVER TALKS
Riddle:
What can run but never walks.
has a mouth but never talks.
has s head but never weeps.
has a bed but never sleeps.
Clue:
Water
Answer:
A river

MADE UP YOUR MIND
Riddle:
Whoever…

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Short Love Series

21 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by The Tale Of My Heart in Anger, Beauty, Culture, Feelings, Fun, Funny, Heart, History, Human, Humor, Joke Of The Day, Jokes, Love, Nature, Peace, Pics, Power, Relationship, Safety, Uncategorized, World, Youth

≈ 40 Comments

Tags

Beauty, Current Issues, Death, Happiness, Hate, Heart, Human, Humor, Husband, Jokes, Jokes Of The Day, Life, Love, Love Series, Lovers, Man, Marriage, Peace, Recomendations, Relationship, Short Love Series, Uncategorized, war, Wife, Woman, Women, World, Youth

Its all started this way;

Wife:

I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband:

You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

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