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A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

The Scotsman man shouts ‘ Awa
ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn’
(Don’t drink the water, it’s full of cow s ** t.)

The man shouts back ‘I’m English, Speak English, I don’t understand you’.

The Scotsman man shouts back ‘Use both hands, you’ll get more in.