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Very much like the relationships between men and women now. The conventions were different, but the essence of the relationships is the same. Some people are dominating and some are more retiring. Shakespeare shows us all kinds of couples. Couples which involve a strong man and a weaker woman are Othello and Desdemona, Demetrius and Helena, and Hamlet and Ophelia. Couples with a strong woman and a weak man include Helena and Bertram, Lady Macbeth and Macbeth, Goneril and Albany, Phoebe and Silvius, and Portia and Bassanio. Couples where both are strong include Beatrice and Benedick, Antony and Cleopatra and Petruchio and Katharine. Hero and Claudio both are weak. Shakespeare would not have shown us this broad array of different relationships had the reality of his world been as monochromatic as some would like us to believe.

As we follow our gut instincts sometimes, as if we struck with an idea about doing a repetitive rubbish in an entirely new way. We are not as restrained by our old habits now, as it empowering us to analyze our methods in a different light. I thought, we won’t ever know unless you give it a try. Even if I am not immediately successful, don’t give up; success may require multiple attempts before you get it just right. We all do our cockups time to time… We should remind ourselves that “patience is virtue”.

The phrase “patience is a virtue” is just a way of expressing the importance of being patient. A virtue is a trait or quality deemed to be morally excellent and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Patience can make us better people. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay implying self control and forbearance. When we say “patience is a virtue” we are exposing our moral values and expressing the importance of patience as a foundation of principle. So to answer the question patience is not a virtue until it truly becomes a virtue and knowing how diverse the spectrum of individualism is I’m sure patience is a vice (opposite of virtue) to some. Patience is a necessity for a happy existence and that is why the phrase is so often used. 

Came across an article and as I read which is written by Mamelody. And I asked myself the question, can men and women really just be friend? This is probably one of the most challenging aspects of human interaction. According to     survey conducted by the American Institute of Society Studies (AISS) it found that almost 98% of people who participated in that survey believe it is impossible for a man and woman to have a plutonic friendship without other factors being involved.

Take for instance my friend Jack Herness, a real estate broker. He has just been divorced after a three year marriage and he says that one of reasons to that was his friendship with women. “When I was dating my wife I made it clear to her that the majority of my friends were female. She accepted this in the beginning but gradually she could no longer control her jealousy to the point where she even fumed when I hugged my own sister,” he says. “I grew up in a house of women. I have four sisters, and I’m the last born and only son. My dad died when I was three so I was raised by my mother and sisters. All of my life my best friends have been girls.”

The fact is relationships between men and women are becoming complicated every day. It is normally impossible to imagine being friends with a member of the opposite without one factor in particular getting in the way – SEX!- Oscar Wilde puts this brilliantly from Lady Windermere’s Fan, which says, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

Is culture reflecting reality?

Is it impossible for men to be friends with women, especially those they find attractive?

Statistics from the AISS also found that it is much easier for a woman to befriend a man with no sexual innuendo than it is for a man to be friends with a woman. Now being friends is not only about the sex, it also depends on other factors such as similarities in interests and hobbies, the level of communication and a deep understanding of one another.

“I do honestly agree that men and women cannot be friends, in the long run “says Carlos Hernandez, a relationship expert and coach.

“I met a wonderful lady about 27 years ago and we were great friends for like 13 years.  We did everything best friends do but deep down my heart I was attracted to her madly. So many times I wanted to just grab her and make passionate love to her but I respected our friendship so I controlled myself for 13 years. After we both suffered divorces we went out one day on our usual outings and we had a little too much to drink. We made hot passionate love and today she is my wonderful wife and I always regret the years we wasted as just friends.”

In reality, men and women need to be friends in order for anything else to take place. A relationship that is not based on friendship is doomed to fail.  That being said it is never easy to maintain a friendship with a member of the opposite sex but it can be done.   Most people who find themselves in situations like these where their partners are good friends with a member of the opposite sex, tend to develop insecurities which ultimately lead to the destruction of their relationships.

Mandy Goldberg, a senior nurse at St Jude’s hospital in Milwaukee begs to differ.

“I have a couple of very close relationships with women as well, though my closest platonic relationships are with men. My husband fully supports me and understands this and so he never sees the need to feel insecure,” she says.

“The trick to maintaining a healthy friendship with a member of the opposite sex is to be open about it to your partner, and make sure your partner is friends with them too, that way there will be no room for fidelity of any sort.”

Now what if you have been intimate with someone, will it be possible for you to just be friends? “Definitely not,” says Mike Dobson, an Airport Engineer.

“After intimacy the friendship line has been crossed. I did make the mistake of sleeping with my best friend who was girl and after that it was impossible to just be friends after I tasted the physical side.”

In conclusion, in the words of When Harry met Sally, Harry tells Sally “what I’m saying is –and this not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

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